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Thread: Heart Broken Daughter Recent T12

  1. #11
    Senior Member watchthisbaby's Avatar
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    Somewhere, Washington
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    588
    My heart hurts for both of the families. I hope this site can bring you wisdom and insight. I am believing the absolute best for your children and your families.
    "We're one but we're not the same. We get to carry each other" U2

  2. #12
    OHG! I can't believe all the replies.

    She will be coming home on the 23rd! She is so sick of the food and wants to come home so bad. She calls crying when she hurts, when she is frustrated and when she wants to come home. I'm strong on the phone with her, but break down afterwords. I had to tell her to call her dad if she is upset cause I just can't handle it. She is mostly happy, but she hates the bowel care and finds the cathing difficult. She gets frustrated when they want her to do too much and has melt downs. She is very social and has made several friends at rehab. I'm glad she has the personality she has or it would be even harder. I feel like someone has ripped my heart out of my chest and I have phantom pain from the void in my chest. I know it will get easier with time, but I feel that this has taken her childhood away.

    I feel I can vent here. We have a blog www.larsensjourney.blogspot.com that my friend setup for us. Since her friends might be reading I have to be careful what I write.

    About the house. We do have a bedroom downstairs with a bath that will need some remodeling if the stair lift doesn't work for her. We have talked to the rehab therapist and they are helping. It is so much to take in. It is hard to know what to do with the house since I'm just not sure how she will progress. We are planning to visit the vendor for the chair lift to see if it will work out. I'm thinking it might be worth it even if she can't transfer. We can at least put her on the chair and take her off. Carrying her up and down the stairs is too dangerous and I don't want to isolate her from the rest of the house.

    The builder is planning to put in a ramp in for us and we have others who are helping financially. Her school put together a program where the kids can purchase snowflakes to go into an account for Jessica. They have "Let it snow for Jessica" on the door of her classroom. Can't help from crying when I see it. A lot of snow has been falling lately around the country. Please think of Jess when you see snow! I'm not a religious person, but I hoping all the positive energy will do some good some how.

    Oh, she is getting a surprise visit from Santa that we are all looking forward to on the 23rd when she gets home. We will have some of her friends over.

    cxl

  3. #13
    Gosh, so many new injureis these past few weeks, to all of you...welcome...a lot of wonderful folks here, take advantage of their knowledge...we do have a private caregivers forum that give you an opportunity to ask more personal questions you might have...You do need to join I believe after you've made a few posts...judy

  4. #14
    Senior Member watchthisbaby's Avatar
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    Jan 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by gcblarsen View Post
    OHG! I can't believe all the replies.

    She will be coming home on the 23rd! She is so sick of the food and wants to come home so bad. She calls crying when she hurts, when she is frustrated and when she wants to come home. I'm strong on the phone with her, but break down afterwords. I had to tell her to call her dad if she is upset cause I just can't handle it. She is mostly happy, but she hates the bowel care and finds the cathing difficult. She gets frustrated when they want her to do too much and has melt downs. She is very social and has made several friends at rehab. I'm glad she has the personality she has or it would be even harder. I feel like someone has ripped my heart out of my chest and I have phantom pain from the void in my chest. I know it will get easier with time, but I feel that this has taken her childhood away.

    I feel I can vent here. We have a blog www.larsensjourney.blogspot.com that my friend setup for us. Since her friends might be reading I have to be careful what I write.

    About the house. We do have a bedroom downstairs with a bath that will need some remodeling if the stair lift doesn't work for her. We have talked to the rehab therapist and they are helping. It is so much to take in. It is hard to know what to do with the house since I'm just not sure how she will progress. We are planning to visit the vendor for the chair lift to see if it will work out. I'm thinking it might be worth it even if she can't transfer. We can at least put her on the chair and take her off. Carrying her up and down the stairs is too dangerous and I don't want to isolate her from the rest of the house.

    The builder is planning to put in a ramp in for us and we have others who are helping financially. Her school put together a program where the kids can purchase snowflakes to go into an account for Jessica. They have "Let it snow for Jessica" on the door of her classroom. Can't help from crying when I see it. A lot of snow has been falling lately around the country. Please think of Jess when you see snow! I'm not a religious person, but I hoping all the positive energy will do some good some how.

    Oh, she is getting a surprise visit from Santa that we are all looking forward to on the 23rd when she gets home. We will have some of her friends over.

    cxl
    Please make sure your doing your best to take care of yourself. It's a natural instinct to hurt when our babies hurt. My MVA was 17 mo's ago, I was 35 at the time. I don't live with my parents and they arent my care providers but I see how hard it's been on them especially my Mom. It breaks my heart on a daily basis to see how much this has affected them and my children. I only say this because I was a foster parent for high needs teenage girls for many years and it took me 3 years to figure out how important self care is, and how necessary it is not only for us but for the well being of our family.

    It sounds as if you have a lot of wonderful support. I think it will be great for your daughter to see her friends. Children always appear to be so much more accepting when faced with a situation such as this.

    It's been snowing here in Washington State for days for Jessica
    "We're one but we're not the same. We get to carry each other" U2

  5. #15
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Portland, OR
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    17
    My heart aches for you too! I am new to this forum myself for my dad who was injured at the beginning of October by falling out of a tree. He leaves rehab on Sunday (today's really his last day). I'm glad that you've found this resource. Everyone has been really great here. There is so much information and my family has found it so helpful and I know that you will too! Please take of yourself too. Everyone else is right, you have to take of yourself so that you can take care of her. I'll be thinking about all the new people that have joined this oh so exclusive club lately (and not so lately!)

  6. #16
    I hate it when it happens to young people who have not even had a chance to live yet. SCI's are so unfair!

  7. #17
    So heartbreaking! I'm sorry for your misfortune of late.


  8. #18
    Senior Member Dave E's Avatar
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    Sep 2007
    Location
    Oak Creek, Co
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    164
    I. too am so sorry for you folks with these children -w- SCI. Not to mention the children. The best advice you have been given is to learn how to take care of yourselves. My wife became, by choice, my primary care giver. Having a medical background and the successful single mother of two wonderfull grown children, she was sure no one could care for me like she could. She was right, but quickly discovered that not getting some help, and dedicating some time for herself, she was greatly hurting herself. Bottom line, she now has assistance and is a much happier person. God bless you all! Stay in touch with us. Your questions and concerns will be answered here!
    Dave E. C6-7 Incomp. Quad 9-06

    "NEVER LOSE SIGHT OF YOUR DREAMS!"
    "THERE IS NOTHING BETTER FOR THE INSIDE OF A MAN / WOMAN THAN THE OUTSIDE OF A HORSE"

  9. #19
    I know it is really tough right now but she will come through with flying colors with your families help. Girls are emotional at this time- and for the next couple of years but she will do fine. Kids are very resilient and smart and learn easily, just continue your support as best you can and get her close to home when possible.
    CWO

  10. #20
    She is home today on a pass and is doing very well. We will also pick her up tomorrow and then she only has Monday left before she comes home. Most days she has some type of melt down (hurting, sad or temper tantrum), but so far today she is doing great. The antibotics looks to have dealt with the bladder infection so she hasn't been crying about that. Each day is a new experience. I just want her to be happy and not sad or hurting. She is mostly happy, but the times when she isn't hurts me so.

    Tomorrow we are taking some gifts to the Maricopa Medical Center where she first stayed for a week. Jessica received so many gifts from some many people that we really need to give back. Since it is a county hospital several kids are homeless or in financial need and don't get much of anything. We are excited to go back to say Hi to the staff. One of the nurses called today to see how she was doing. She was in tears when we left and became very close to Jess.

    Everyone keeps telling me to take care of myself. I have been trying. The first week was the hardest since the injury was new and she was really struggling with not being home. Since then I've been getting much more sleep. I don't do well without my sleep. It is hard. It helps that my husband can spend a lot of time with her. I'm trying to go to work and then I typically head over to the hospital. Sometimes I just go home if she is doing well and if her Dad was able to spend time with her. It is hard not to be there with her. I just feel like I should be with her all the time. It is over an hour away each way, so I feel like I'm always on the road.

    I'm not the type to believe in miracles, but I so want to believe that the doctors were wrong with how bad her injury is. I'm very doubtfull that she will ever walk again without some type of cure. I just want her to have her childhood back. I keep asking her what she can feel and what it feels like below the injury, thinking that maybe she is getting more feeling than before, but I'm not seeing it. I'm sure she is sick of me asking. I've been reading posts to get an idea what might be possible with what she has been feeling, but it looks to be all over board. No one is the same and it seems that different doctors come up with "complete" or "incomplete" at different times. I don't think I'll ask cause I'm afraid of what I might hear. I think I'm better off waiting to see how she heals.

    Send your snow to Phoenix.

    cxl

    "Let it snow for Jessica"

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