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Thread: please help!!

  1. #1

    please help!!

    ive been paralized from chest down 4 a year and a half.... do you become like somewat normal again. im trying to stay strong 4 my mom, i no it breaks her heart that i struggle, and wen i get sad. im so angry more than i have ever been n my life, for the past month. i want to get ready and go out w/ my friends and i cant, i just want to walk. i feel like im the only person thats sad n struggling, and then i think bout children who r starving n abused and then i get more angry at myself. i hate how selfish n selfsentered. i hate this... wen does the sad end and happy begain.

  2. #2
    Sorry you're in that place, racheal. It takes time to develop a new sense of normalcy. Getting active helps.

  3. #3
    Believe me, you're NOT alone in the way you feel. I won't give you BS about hope and change ... that's for obama ... But I will tell you that you won't always feel like this. Life's not the same after SCI, but it doesn't have to be over.

  4. #4
    Why can't you go out with friends? Don't you have a wheelchair?

    What is your actual level of injury?

    Did you get any rehab when you were first injured? Where?

    Do you drive? Have you looked at getting a vehicle and hand controls so you have more freedom?

    Are you working with a counselor at the CA DOR?

    Are you doing something with your life with purpose, such as working, going to school or volunteering?

    There is a new "normal" for you. Continuosly comparing yourself to how you were before is not a way to move forward in life, regardless of your circumstances. There is only moving forward and dealing with the new reality. Working toward a cure and advocating for research is another example of a way to get on with life, get involved, and get active.

    Counseling can help you learn to deal with your anger in a constructive way. Can you get some?


  5. #5
    c5 c6 c7, i do have a chair... i just, i dont no i feel like a drag, idnt really have friends 2 hang w/ i just get so overwelmed n lonly. im not wanting attention or anythin i just dont no were 2 turn

  6. #6
    Senior Member CapnGimp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Alpine, TX USA male T4complete
    Blog Entries
    There are MANY friends here who are at the same injury level or higher than yourself. Many of them have gone on to adapt themselves to life with sci and live life on their OWN terms, not allowing it to hold them back. It takes a while with most.
    You have ran across THE BEST resource you will find, imo, thousands of men and women who live this day to day. Not an 'outsider' without experience. Look around, search the forums, ask questions, etc.

    Beware, there are peckerheads here as in everywhere. You'll know them when they spew their crap in the guise of 'helping'. Put them on your IGNORE list and don't look back.

    I'm a t4, so I can't relate 100%, but I've been there when I couldn't lift my head from the pillow. Fortunately for me, I regained a lot. I was never in a bad place, also, fortunately. But it took me over 2 years to start REALLY learning how to cope with this new experience. Others take longer. Don't rush yourself, just do NOT give up!
    There is still MUCH that life has to offer, you just have to give it time and effort.

    Talk with the folks here that are willing to help. If you want me to give you names, as you aren't familiar with us, say so. There are some wonderful, kick ass folks here, who want nothing more than to help you succeed.


    ps you are young, how many people your age have their shiiTe in one sock? VERY few, so you aren't alone, regardless of your injury. And the things you do... do them for YOU, Not others, though I understand what you mean. Hang in there, til things start becoming clearer. You'll be glad you did.

    I'm gonna toss ol Fuentes out here as an example. He's a hell of a dude... ornery old goat. Takes shit from no one. Kicks ass in life. JUST got married recently. If you'd attack life like he does, there is NOTHING that can hold you back. I wished I had HALF the gumption that he does. THere are MANY more here, chick, rehab rhino, cali, wtf, mimin, orange jello, trainmain, Steve Edwards, ryebread, lynnifer, curlieQcarrie, november...SOOO many, look around here for a few weeks, you will begin to see what is possible. You hang in there, it WILL get clearer.
    Last edited by CapnGimp; 12-04-2008 at 04:07 AM. Reason: once again...because I CAN...why ask? :D

  7. #7
    I was in that place a long time ago where I felt I have to be strong for everyone else, but after some down time and a bit of counseling (it never hurts to talk to someone) I realized I had been so strong for everyone else, that I forgot to be strong for myself. I felt I had to put on a brave face and after doing that for so long it took a toll on me emotionally. You are only human and can handle so much! Talk to your mom and tell her that although you know this affects her- it is your life and you have to get through all the emotions to accept what you have going on and you need some support!

  8. #8
    Can you get your Mom in our caregiving forum? With the support she'd get, life could be made easier for you both! By easy, I mean emotional support...when I used to get depressed, I mean DEPRESSED...I always had friends that would let me wallow good, the ones who I really respected and told me like it was and would not sugar coat anything I would end up talking with because I would evenyually get tired of being sick and tired and would decide it was time to move forward and get out from under the rock....and usually that meant going to a are in the right place!

  9. #9
    Senior Member Ashley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    St. Louis, Missouri
    i know it's hard to get out of the house and you may not feel like doing stuff with friends, but i promise you that getting out and being social with people will help you feel a little normal again. Invite a couple people over to your house at first and then when you get comfortable go see a movie or a concert or go out to eat with friends. Don't worry about being "a downer", i'm sure your friends can understand how you'll feel at first. I got nervous going out with friends at first, but you will feel more comfortable the more you do it. Try not to compare yourself to other people going through stuff, because everyone has their own battles to fight. You're not being self-centered, it's part of getting used to the new routine and body and function. People here can relate to all this, don't worry. Don't ever feel bad for posting
    Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding; and that there is always tomorrow.
    -Dorothy Thompson

  10. #10
    What you are going through right now, emotionally, is very normal. You're grieving your losses and that's a hellish, but necessary process. I'm only a year and a half out from my injury as well. I'm still fluctuating between sadness and anger (like irrational, pissed-at-the-universe anger).

    I read in your profile that you're planning on going back to school. I think that's a step in the right direction. Having goals for your future is important, but don't forget to re-learn how to enjoy the present as well.

    Welcome, to CC.
    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." -Gloria Steinem

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