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Thread: Women Only Forum

  1. #41
    Senior Member wheelchairTITAN's Avatar
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    An open response to a difficult issue ....

    I write in response to the establishment of a special member cataegory forum.

    With regard to the establishment of a women's only forum, I respond because I believe that the point of exclusion is really being missed here.

    In writing this commentary on the already established women’s only forum, many here will take this as personal or just another misplaced male, when my concern in writing this dialogue is to attempt to create a collegial discussion and re-thinking of a separatist forum being developed and condoned for what ever reason.

    How many more separatist forums should we set up here and then for what areas or persons? A rhetorical question that does not have an answer as of the writing of this position.

    If the CC forum wants to restrict access to a forum it should be to members only and not by gender.

    The position being established here i creating a special forum for only some members in a publicly run forum is to encourage and support the expository rhetoric of feminist writing and thought (although in disguise as a just a place for women to write about their needs) and reinforces the concept that the male gender is a negative contributor to women being oppressed.

    Why does this forum have to be exclusionary? It is in my opinion, simply more feminist logic and philosophy taken to the extreme.

    If you want to eliminate the "SPAM" then make it a member’s only forum and make people responsible.

    If there are women or men who are unable to accept responsibility for their writing or thoughts, then deal with them and rather than suggest that all men are the problem and that all men should therefore be excluded and deemed not worthy of reading the thoughts and opinions of women on some or all topics if taken to the extreme. I find any attempt to control and censor who can read and write to be oppressive and derogatory.

    Based on the establishment I feel that I have been labeled as a blight or a possibly a blighter and someone who can’t read and comprehend the secret diary and words of the selected women on a public forum.

    I acknowledge that this is not the likely intention of this forum but I am just very tired of the male bashing that exists and is condoned in society and attempts for equality are rebuffed on historical models and now it creeps into the CC forums.

    The truth is that if I were to undertake “female bashing” as a reason for a separate male forum then I would be accused, and rightfully so of bigotry and bias. Yet under the guise of spam or the inability of some members of the forum to reply in a civil manner myself and all males are being excluded.

    Feminist writings and historical evidence have always been based on the hidden philosophy of equality denied and yet here we are going to deny equal opportunity to males through the establishment of a separate forum based on female gender.

    Do I believe that I am not capable of reading the messages in the forum and being educated or enlightened? It would appear others believe I am incapable of reading these ideas.

    I live with this in academia everyday and exclusion is not the way to go no matter how "gynecology challenging" the issues are or the topics are. Separation of forums and thoughts are really censorship of my ability to read or to write responses. Not that I would be inclined to comment but I feel I must speak up for the right to be able to be a full member in the CC forum not a restricted member on a public forum. Nor is it the way to deal with childish males who can't complete a rational thought.

    Deal with the individuals not through censorship or denial but through objective confrontation.

    There must be a better way and so I must register an objection to this ill thought out process.

    I urge all to reconsider this special category of people and thought being established here not because I object to their right to connect but based on the rights of my exclusion being that of my gender and guilt by association.

    I am against all forums of censorship … the inability to read or to comment!

    William

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  2. #42
    Moderator jody's Avatar
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    wheelchairtitan, sometimes women need woman comfort. and its easier to have a separate forum for delicate issues than to exclude those not emotionally mature enough to be sensitive to sensitive issues.

    some things which are everyday issues to women with sci, are never brought up because little boys are listening.

  3. #43
    Senior Member wheelchairTITAN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jody View Post
    wheelchairtitan, sometimes women need woman comfort. and its easier to have a separate forum for delicate issues than to exclude those not emotionally mature enough to be sensitive to sensitive issues.

    some things which are everyday issues to women with sci, are never brought up because little boys are listening.
    I recognize what you are saying and understand the importance of the issue.

    It is dismissive to refer to males as "little boys"!

    You have lost the scope of my writings and yet you prove some of my thoughts as true.

    William

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  4. #44
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    Ah, but she wasn;t referring to ALL males here .... take a look at what had happened to some legitimate threads, about a woman's problem, and see why some people aren;t willing to ask sensitive questions on an open board.
    T7-8 since Feb 2005

  5. #45
    Senior Member wheelchairTITAN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sjean423 View Post
    Ah, but she wasn;t referring to ALL males here .... take a look at what had happened to some legitimate threads, about a woman's problem, and see why some people aren;t willing to ask sensitive questions on an open board.
    So why deal with this as if it were a grade 5 problem? Your answer is to say all males are equally inappropriate and can't be involved.

    The women who have Wise's ear use the approach that if one child is bad your answer is to say they are all to be punished.

    I do not accept the fact that there should be exclusionary forums

    How grade school is your response and the handling of this issue... deal with the individuals who are offensive.

    I am writing to this issue because it is an important point of open discourse and exclusion is not the answer.

    William
    Last edited by wheelchairTITAN; 12-10-2008 at 08:34 AM. Reason: Added my name

    William

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  6. #46
    The purpose of the Women Only forum was not to sideline all females into one section and separate them from participation in all the other forums, but to give them a place to go to discuss private issues in detail without them being hijacked by random interference. If many of your gender are to blame for this, then you should take it up with them, implore them to behave. See where that gets you. Many long-standing female members have tried that approach but it goes nowhere.
    I see this new forum as the positive side of 'exclusionism', and I would not consider it a personal affront if a Men only forum were to follow.

  7. #47
    Quote Originally Posted by wheelchairTITAN View Post
    Why does this forum have to be exclusionary? It is in my opinion, simply more feminist logic and philosophy taken to the extreme.

    If you want to eliminate the "SPAM" then make it a member’s only forum and make people responsible.
    Do you really feel excluded by the fact that some (many) women here wish to discuss delicate care and sexual matters without being bombarded by the juvenile, lewd, and crude comments constantly made in such threads by some male members who think that kind of behaviour is funny? There are hundreds of examples of this happening in both the care and sex forums I can refer you to that proves this is a legitimate problem for many female members. It makes them reluctant to post about certain issues when they may need help and advice.

    When I see male members bring up things like errectile dysfunction or cock rings I never see females trying to insert themselves into the thread merely to have a laugh at the expense of the male asking the question. Yet browse past threads in the sex forum and you will see males replying to serious questions from females with comments like "get a can of motor oil."

    As for your second comment above, too many seem to take the "member's only" forum as a free for all where anything can be said without consequence because it's "just members." Are you seriously suggesting that a female-focused forum should be relegated to the ghetto of the same mentality? Because that is what I am reading in your comment. If that is the case, I question how much respect and understanding you actually have for women.

    A personal question for you: were you this self-rightgeously indignant when the "caregiver's only" forum was established? I am going to assume that you are not a member of that forum (please correct me if I am wrong) and would likewise be excluded from it. Does that bother you as much as the "women's only" forum does? I am guessing that the large majority of members of the private caregivers forum are women as well. Does that offend your male sensibilities as much as a "women's only" forums apparently has?

    I personally wasn't convinced that a women's only forum was necessary. I thought a women's forum that was open to all would be sufficient. But seeing attitudes like what you have displayed in this thread makes me realize how wrong I was.
    Last edited by orangejello; 12-10-2008 at 12:37 PM.

  8. #48
    Senior Member wheelchairTITAN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by carbar View Post
    The purpose of the Women Only forum was not to sideline all females into one section and separate them from participation in all the other forums, but to give them a place to go to discuss private issues in detail without them being hijacked by random interference. If many of your gender are to blame for this, then you should take it up with them, implore them to behave. See where that gets you. Many long-standing female members have tried that approach but it goes nowhere.
    I see this new forum as the positive side of 'exclusionism', and I would not consider it a personal affront if a Men only forum were to follow.
    Again you miss the issue ... feel free to take on my writing but you have to read it and not just say because some people can't play nice ... I am responsible for their behaviour. CC should, in my opinion, not be a place for "some only" forums. Again, the issue is the right to unfettered (but moderated) speech should not be met with I should "take it up with them" as you so eloquently put it. I didn't do this and yet to this point the responders here still paint me as the enemy. Why should I be responsible for the behaviour of others as you suggest?

    I understand your points and the points of others but question the validity of exclusion of all based on the behaviour of some. The trouble is this decision was made without the right to 9input and be heard and even now you and others feel this is a right given to you. Subversion of information and of speech should be offensive to you and to all and yet the forces of separation are at work.

    Don't miss the point of my original posting which requires much more thought and response than ... the statement that I should be responsible for the entire male gender.

    You give credence to my issue that this is in fact a way to male bash and have it legitimized.

    The question is will you and the others actually listen or read and consider the real issue here or just feel entitled to a an exclusivee forum because of your gender?

    William

    William

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    BE NICE!It's free

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  9. #49
    Some males act like little boys. It doesn't mean you do or all do. I am sorry that you are getting "punished" for their actions. However it is quite a relief to me to be able to read an honest discussion without the lewd remarks and things that get posted in response. If a woman were to post a thread 2nd orgasm since injuries it gets all kind of replies. Do you want help, post pics, I only want a virgin, go on and on. I noticed a male posted that the other day and only saw 2 or 3 replies and one was from the nurse. It gets old so yes we do need our own place. I seriously doubt you want to read about someones vaginal discharge and how to keep a pad in place when transferring anyway. Or do you?
    If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.


    Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

  10. #50
    Titan,

    The Women Only forum was a long time coming. Wise decided that it was the right move to make, as did I, and that is why the Women Only forum exists.

    I'll address your other claims after lunch. Just know that feminism didn't beget the forum, male chauvinism did.

    Before I leave, I would be interested to know how you feel that forum could help you. Would you mind sharing?

    Thanks,

    Steven
    ...it's worse than we thought. it turns out the people at the white house are not secret muslims, they're nerds.

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