ICU Psychosis

[Sue Pendleton]

The German ICU I was in was rather good at keeping lights low at night. At least once I was semi-conscious I remember that. I was close to the doc's desk at the far end of what was the entrance that had adjustable air lock ratings in case of epidemics. So the cockpit thing sort of made sense in a way. We were back in the city I had been stationed in while I had been active duty. I was able to see the aircraft warning lights on the two hospital smoke stacks from my bed.

Good luck on getting to rehab soon. If you get too much flack try calling the state insurance commissioner. Their office rates companies in most states by the hoops they make you go through for coverage you paid for.

[twofortamu]

Although I came upon this site and your stories about the ICU psychosis by net searching, I am feeling some relief of the psychosis problems that I experienced almost 19-20 months ago in Denver, CO. I was in the ICU, for different medical causes not related to SCI, but a malfunctioning large intestine and a full week+ of drug induced coma due to septic shock.

Your stories of what was not real and real, shifted in time and space for me and as others have noted, the nights were the worst. I don't know if I can ever really explain everything I saw, heard, communicated with and fought - my night attending nurses when I thought my life was in danger. It is easy to share these things when everything is calm and reflecting back after your life is mended or in a state that you mind and body can exist.

My specific story relates directly with good and evil and the shape shifting demons/nurses on that worst late night of my ICU stay. I lay in bed and watched a friendly helpful nurse walk into my room, shifting into another not so friendly nurse and tell me that I am next! If you have ever been backed into a corner and see no options other than 'fight or flight' you can understand my choices and I chose both. To make a long story shorter, I ended up fighting off the shape shifter, but ended up on the ICU floor after having pulled out my central line and other tubes.

The next morning after my attending surgeon was brought up to speed with what had occured the previous night, his question to me was what had happened. My response was that I thought the night staff was trying to end my life and he seemed to fully understand my concerns and how I had experienced this ICU psychosis. Reality bent in so many directions that it was very disturbing. I will move on and recover, but the fact is that it was so real that I may never completly disregard what was truely not real.

Back home in Dallas, TX, during my final surgery to 'take-down' my temporary illiostomy (just over 12 months ago), I had a family member stay with me every night and all night. That was a true blessing and I will forever owe my family for each of those many nights.

The ICU experience that I had due to my health event will be an everlasting memory and I would be honored to chat with anyone of the many others that need a fiendly reminder that we can and will overcome past troubling ICU experiences.

[DavesMom]

My son was in shock trauma in Baltimore for 4 months. After the second month he started in with the psychosis. They said it was lack of sleep and the lights on all the time. He used to get bathed at 3 in the morning. No wonder the poor guy thought the nurse was trying to kill him while the other held him down. He also told my daughter one day that the q-tips had razor blades in them so she had to be careful cleaning his ears. Thankfully, he got sleep meds and anxiety meds that helped but did not take it away. At least after a day or two it was better until the next time. I understand it is common in icu.
DavesMom, Diane