Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: need to vent again

  1. #1
    Senior Member okwjoe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    wesley hills, new york
    Posts
    189

    need to vent again

    Hi all, this web site is a godsend. I' ve learned soo much about SCI. and met some great people here. I even been in the chat room. Anyway, I also still having up and downs( I know this is a normal state of mind) for now on. But I am fearing the worst. My son has no new sensations or motor return now for 3 weeks. I been reading about other people getting more return "early " and my son seems has to be stagnated. I know it is only 5 1/2 weeks.. He tells me he has anal sensation feeling thermoters but the doc still thinks I am crazy. I am coming to accept the fact that he will not walk again and accepting the ramfications of this. But he has spasms and back pain, 9 more during the night). On the other hand he has been shown how to use the computer( he thinks it so cool). He likes the fact he no longer has to write and type his papers..lol. He has so much courage and drive it just makes me proud. I never thought he had it in him. I know time makes this easier but it so hard to sit and wait.. for what? They say he is out of spinal shock and people here tell me that it is early but i am having my doubts. I dunno. i am just rambling. thank you for allowing me to vent. Joe

  2. #2
    Senior Member kate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    bellevue, wa, usa
    Posts
    10,992
    Sounds to me like you both are doing well, Joe. What is your son's name? Has he seen these forums yet?

  3. #3
    Senior Member okwjoe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    wesley hills, new york
    Posts
    189
    His name is Michael.. no not yet.. The computer is not in his room yet.

  4. #4
    Senior Member okwjoe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    wesley hills, new york
    Posts
    189
    I dunno if I am doing THAT well.. but I guess this is all normal these feelings?

  5. #5
    Senior Member kate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    bellevue, wa, usa
    Posts
    10,992
    If anything can be normal in such a situation, then yes, these feelings are very normal. Hello to Michael . . . the spasms for my husband didn't really kick in until he came home at about 3 months post, but I remember that it was horrible. We finally figured out a combination of pills that controlled them enough for him to sleep, which was a huge blessing.

    I have a 14-yr-old daughter, Joe. I'm praying for your kid.

  6. #6
    Senior Member okwjoe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    wesley hills, new york
    Posts
    189
    Kate you mentioned that your husband regained a lot more return after the 6 weeks post injury, you mentioned the spasms at 3 months. Did he regained the return after the spasms started. i am reaching here... so maybe Michael will get some now. since his tarted about 2 weeks ago. Iknow I am probably reaching to far.. but I need to.

    Joe

  7. #7
    Hi Joe~

    My daughter was injured in March of 1999, during her senior year of high school; she's a T11 para. As a parent, I know the heartbreak and the pride you are feeling right now. It's the hardest thing in the world to wait. I'm a "fixer"...I want stuff better, RIGHT NOW. So I do understand. If I may, let me give you a little bit of advice:
    ~Take a deep, deep breath. You have a very long road ahead of you, and you need to be strong for your son. He may recover more, he may not; I've learned that each injury is different, and that no one really knows for sure. I do know that five-six weeks is VERY early in the process, so please don't give up hope.
    ~Be aware that the first year is the hardest. Your son will have triumphs and setbacks, but I'm betting he triumphs in the end. And he will continue to amaze you...you'll wonder where on earth he inherited his strength! (Now I understand why God made my daughter the most stubborn kid on the planet!)

    ~Keep coming here; everyone needs to vent, and we understand that far too well! You will have to watch your son focus on how to live with this terrible injury while in your heart you want it all to just go away, or be a bad dream. Even if he does recover, it could be slow and take up to two years. So in the meantime, he needs to learn a whole new set of skills and I'm sure your love will be his foundation.

    ~Finally, they told me my daughter was a complete injury, and they were right. She regained absolutely nothing. I'm not saying this to discourage you; but it's my reality and it could be yours. Just remember that there are other parents here who can provide some support for you.

    I wish you, your son, and your whole family all the best. Be patient, and take care.

    Vicky

    P.S. Let me give you a happier story: my soon-to-be husband suffered a burst fracture at L1 in Dec. of 2000. After 2 1/2 years, he could walk unassisted and had his bladder and sexual function back. Within the last six months, his bowels have improved dramatically. That's almost four years post injury! So...you never know. I also feel that, in some ways, my daughter's story is happy as well; this past summer she moved into her own apartment and is attending college. She LOVES it..and once again, I'm so proud and in awe of her spirit. I've also learned to grab those blessings however they may show up!

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Madison,Wisconsin, USA
    Posts
    1,498
    Joe, everyone here is right, it is still early in his injury, although I'm betting it doesn't seem that to you right now! The only thing I would like to add is to make sure he knows you love him regardless of further progress. I think there is so much pressure to improve that can bring on a feeling of failure, when in fact, it's just not there. Try to go for little goals and encouragement, let him know that you are there for im no matter what. Debra

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •