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Thread: Safe haven

  1. #1

    Safe haven

    I have been reading an ongoing thread in another forum that has turned nasty and hateful. It saddens me. It made me think about the one site - this Caregiving site- that always feels so supportive, open and understanding. I want to thank you all for that. Because, although I don't know the pain of living with SCI, I know first-hand the intense and overwhelming feeling of despair that a mother experiences when a child is spinal cord injured. I can imagine the sadness and frustration each of you - parent, spouse, sibling, partner - has felt due to your loved one's SCI. The long and short of this is that SCI sucks big time for everyone. But what I am most appreciative of is that although each of us is hurting in ways that we never thought possible, there is still such compassion and kindness here that I wish all forums had. It feels good to know that "Caregiving" is always a safe haven.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    Well said, LFC. I think you've expressed what many of us have been thinking and feeling for quite some time--but have been afraid to say anything. Thanks.

    Thanks Kate and Obie for leading by examples of kindness, maturity and patience. You two are the best!

  3. #3
    LFC~
    I, too, know a mother's despair over a child's injury. I think I've called it our "special hell" in several threads. I think the key to the Caregiving forum is that a) as caregivers, we all have a lot of patience, for if you don't have patience, you'll go insane and b) we can all safely vent and receive support from the other caregivers here. You're absolutely right: it's good to know of a safe haven! I'm thankful the caregivers who post here have made such an effort to keep the hurtful, hateful tide away from this forum.

    Vicky

  4. #4
    We have always tried to provide a 'safe haven' for our caregivers and families, from the beginning of the forum; and thanks to the original wonderful folks who posted and have continued to post here, that feeling has continued.

    Please feel free to join in here any time; the 'online journal' has given us all a place to chat, vent, and just talk about life in general.

    _____________
    If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. - Mother Teresa

  5. #5
    Senior Member kate's Avatar
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    LFC, you made my day. I would agree with you that compassion and kindness are important elements of what makes this forum work--and I would add common sense, open-mindedness, finely tuned bullshit detectors, and most of all a certain wacky sense of humor.

    That said, we do get off track sometimes. What rights us when we're wobbly is nothing more than knowing we all "get it". Having paid the enormous price to belong to this crazy club, we might as well reap the benefits. And those are: knowing you can take absolutely anything, knowing you're not alone, and knowing that there is no subject too bizarre to bring here.

    Keep coming back!

  6. #6
    Moderator Obieone's Avatar
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    Thanks for the kind words LFC - Nothing in my life has humbled me (except perhaps raising my kids) more than having had this injury affect my life .... its taught me to be more tolerant and patient with others as well as myself .... to pick my battles .... to stop and really marvel at the world in its simplist forms .... often my biggest frustration is that others simply don't get "it" ......... most who come here ... do .... I'm so thankful for it ... our "Sanctuary" ....

    Obieone

  7. #7
    I like the idea of a safe haven. Do I need a membership card, spare key, bring a potluck dish? Cause I'd love to join.

    I havent' been here in some time. A couple weeks ago, Debbie's internal morphine pump malfunctioned - or, more like, someone timed her refill wrong and she went into withdrawal. She was one sick puppy for a few days. Seems like there's been one appt. after another since then, or errands, or something. She's doing better now, and so we have been focusing on making this house a true home. We moved two years ago, but because there were so many deaths in our family, and we'd done so much packing for various relatives, I sunk into a depression and was also simply exhausted, and couldn't face all the boxes in our home. We'd inherited so much stuff. Finally, and thanks in no small part to going on Lexapro I"m sure, I have been ready to tackle all this crap and have been busting my butt working on this. The computer took over my life, and I needed to deal with life in the real world. But... I'm not giving up the puter, just got other stuff to do as well, so I"ll be around sometimes, just not as much maybe.

    In a little while, we're heading out to a flea market. It's the last outdoor one of the season, and it's cold and breezy unfortunately. I dont' feel great about Debbie going cause this lung infection is going nowhere fast and I"m really concerned she'll get seriously ill. The docs are already talking about doing a CAT scan of her lungs cause they are afraid she has scarring. I know she can't handle being off her O2 for long, and I"m wondering if the antibiotics haven't kicked this infection in this long of a time, if anything can. So far she's holding her own, well enough to demand going out today, but I can see her slipping bit by bit. Anyone else had a problem with an ongoing infection that seemed to be resistant to antibiotics? I"m wondering about alternative options - anything that might help.

    So, that's our lives -in a very very small nutshell - and it's good to be back. Hope everyone here is doing okay.

  8. #8
    Kendall, of course you're welcome here! We turn on bashers here like mad dogs - ask anyone whos' been here awhile! I too am one of those people who just don't understand what the forums have turned into - a common expression to many is that 'the inmates are running the asylum'.

    I'm sorry to hear about Debbie; we had an incident like that with the Baclofen pump with my son, so I know what a nightmare it must have been. It's good to hear you're getting all settled and cozy. And a flea market - I haven't been to a good flea market in ages!

    _____________
    If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. - Mother Teresa

  9. #9
    Senior Member
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    Kendall, welcome back. Of course you have to pay, potluck would be great! Isn't it kinda like Christmas to open old boxes? You forget what all you have sometimes.

    Sorry to hear about Debbie. Those respiratory infections are tough, really sap the strength too. Hopefully you guys won't pick up any fleas at the market to add to your worries.

  10. #10
    Moderator Obieone's Avatar
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    I'm so glad you're back too Kendell .... every now and then we all need to take care of what's important ... bottom line .. yes?

    I can relate to the issue of infection and your concerns. Bill has had a hole in his belly now for almost 2 years that simply will not heal ... the threat of infection is constant ... I will think of it differently now that I read of your worries and pray for relief for us both ... life just sucks sometimes don't it .....

    Stay strong
    Obieone

    [This message was edited by Obieone on 10-16-04 at 10:18 PM.]

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