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Thread: So are you/they able to do?

  1. #11
    Senior Member canuck's Avatar
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    I'm a T11/12 who lives alone, do all except for really heavy duty cleaning myself.

    This guy definately sounds like he is playing "invalid" Does he go out & do stuff on his own or does he hang around the house all day?

  2. #12
    I am a T11/12 and I think I can do everything inside the house if I want. I have even painted my kitchen alone.

    But honestly, I have a PA who help me with some housework and help me shopping. And she is washing the floors, change the beds and fold the clothes and do some other things.

    Shopping is impossible to do alone. The market is too fare to go every day and I cant take too much with me home alone. And we always have to ask around for people to lift me inside in the shops, I hate that.
    TH 12, 43 years post

  3. #13
    I'm T4 - like Gurly2356 - and I agree with her, your BIL should be able to do all of those things you mention and MORE. Really there is no reason that he couldn't be totally independent. The set-up is the most important thing - having everything within reach, not up or down stairs or at a difficult height - once that is ok then everything else can follow.

  4. #14
    Frankly, these are all things that he should have learned to do in a good SCI rehab program. Our clients at about C6 down work with OK and then do their own laundry, including folding and putting away from then on. They make their own bed, etc. as well. They also spend 3-7 days in our independent living training apartment by themselves right before they go home.

    You definitely need a family meeting, and you and your husband need to set some limits and stick by them. You are being used and manipulated.

    (KLD)

  5. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Danine
    OMG, he is sooooooooo milking the situation. I'd like to come slap him around myself .

    Maybe you could encourage your husband to come on here and read some posts so that he can realize how lazy his brother is being.

    It'd be cool if you and your family could go on a long vacation. Leave the BIL at home all by himself. In a sink or swim situation, you'd be amazed at what the BIL would learn to do.

    PLEASE SET SOME BOUNDARIES WITH THIS GUY!!!
    LMAO!

  6. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by gurly2356
    Wow, how do you do that?? Thats one thing I havent figured out yet!
    I had some portable hand controls I rigged up on the brake on the mower. I can't do the trim work anymore which is annoying. It was really hard and stressful the first time but like everything it gets easier each time. Transferring is usually the hardest part or cleaning the limbs before mowing. I love it bc I feel like the old me in a skimpy top on my mower. My legs don't always stay put so I have to be careful there and I always make sure the gas is full and I have my cell phone.

  7. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by abcboys
    Honestly he has not been depressed. I would be able to tell if he was. Even when he answers the phone in his room, I can hear him and he is always chery. I think he just has it in his mind that he can't do these things and he wasn't much of a housekeeper before, so why start now.

    .

    I have another question. How do you hold stuff on your lap and push the wheelchair at the same time. Is it a balancing act or is there another method I could mention to him?
    Just because he answers the phone cheery doesn't mean he is. I was a master at faking it when I first got home. When I did go out people would be amazed at how well I was handling things. I wouldn't say yea that's bc my mom is in town. For the last 4 days before I stayed in bed and never changed clothes.

    I have baskets all over the place that I put stuff in and then push around with them on my lap. Most are full of hot wheels and various kid stuff but they are good for anything. I also always have a cutting board nearby for cooking or stability for other things.

  8. #18
    Good grief, what I would give to have that much function. I could be independent again and not have to worry about caregivers quitting or not showing up I could drive basically any kind of car I wanted. Life is harsh when you're paralyzed but he's got a look at what he has as a good thing and get over the fact that his legs don't work.
    C-5/6, 7-9-2000
    Scottsdale, AZ

    Make the best out of today because yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come. Nobody knows that better than those of us that have almost died from spinal cord injury.

  9. #19
    If he is depressed at all he is not showing any signs. I am living right here with him and neither me nor my husband have noticed any changes in him.
    Last night I'm sitting here at the computer and he asks me to pop him a bag of popcorn. Now, our microwave does sit up a little high. It's a little over 4 1/2ft. but I even sat in a chair by there and I was able to reach the microwave and the buttons but instead of trying just to do it himself he calls me in there. I would even care if he just ATTEMPTED to do these things before calling me to do them (like the microwave and laundry)

    Amazingly enough, he got a motorized scooter a few days ago so he can get around town and run to the store and stuff. The past 2 days he has taken his kids out on their bikes and let them bike ride around town. He has lived here at my house almost 3 years (in the basement apartment) and I can tell you he has NEVER taken his kids out on a bike ride before. My husband said its less effort for him now?

    Anyway, I know its going to take time for him to learn to do things, I don't expect him to do things like a pro right here at first, but he'll never learn to be independent if he doesn't start these everyday tasks on his own. That's where I start to feel resentful about things

  10. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by addiesue
    I had some portable hand controls I rigged up on the brake on the mower. I can't do the trim work anymore which is annoying. It was really hard and stressful the first time but like everything it gets easier each time. Transferring is usually the hardest part or cleaning the limbs before mowing. I love it bc I feel like the old me in a skimpy top on my mower. My legs don't always stay put so I have to be careful there and I always make sure the gas is full and I have my cell phone.
    I mow as well, with a hydrostatic drive mower. It has one lever for stop/go. I agree, always take your phone! I've had flat tires, gotten stuck, had the drive belt came off, it's a long butt boost back to the garage!
    Andrew

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