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Thread: anyone in my situation?

  1. #21
    Wow, Chick, that's great info - tx a lot - I'm sure Clip will appreciate the effort!

    _____________
    If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. - Mother Teresa

  2. #22
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    Cathy, I have been thinking about you, just gathering thoughts. It seems you are in a very hard position. Sometimes you can only do little things, gain trust and drop knowledge of possibilities when you can. It's hard to know sometimes just what can be done, but one thing I have found in my situation is to go slow, present an oppotunity and allow him to make a choice. For example, Jim was adamately oppossed to a computer. So I would ask him to keep me company and help me as I learned how, and he got caught up in it. When he showed an interest I made a desk for him and when he could manuever his w/c to it and do it on his own that got him hooked.

    You can only do so much, Kevin has to want to change. And he is probably very dependent on your Dad, since that is all he has known since injured. Try printing out some of the stories from SCIpilot, the ones relevant to his injury c4, and leave them for him and your Dad to read. Your Dad may feel threatened by new ways and scared due to his age at the future. They may reject any change and that is their choice. For me it is better just to try to do one thing at a time, get the finances set up, a van that works, etc.

  3. #23
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    Hi everyone, I've been away for a vacation and am just back. Thanks to Chick for all that fabulous information and to Lilsister for your empathy. Both are invaluable to me. Sad to hear that Illinois and Georgia are in the worst 10! What about the top 10 -- I need good news! As well, what about ways to change, to make Illinois and Georgia respond? How would I start and where do I get involved?
    After a good break with my husband and daughter, we were talking about my 40th birthday next year and how I'd like to celebrate and I said I'd like to take Dad and Kevin along with Paul and Rose on a cruise. Any suggestions about a good cruise? Glad to be back online with ya'll.

  4. #24
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    Cathy, glad you had a vacation! KLD, the SCI nurse on this board has gone on several cruises, taking her disabled mother and father, so she knows the best deals/lines for accessability. Deb

  5. #25
    I would recommend a short cruise for your first one...5-7 days. Only go on ships built since about 1995. They will be most accessible. I would recommend considering a cruise from a US port that you could drive to/from first so you don't also have to deal with flying, if possible. Cruise lines we have had good success with include HAL, Princess, Celebrity and RCI. NCL is OK, but not as nice as these above.

    Go to our Travel forum and do a search under "cruise" for some more details. You can also get a lot more information at the Disabled Cruisers discussion boards on these two sites:

    www.cruisecritic.com
    www.cruisemates.com

    (KLD)

  6. #26
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    Thanks for the info on cruises everyone -- I'm really getting excited about this now! It seems to be ideal for everyone in our group. And I've been thinking a lot about the "softly softly" approach with my brother and dad. I think we just have to work together. They have a huge resource of knowledge after all these years and I don't "know better." But perhaps I can offer possibilities of change where they haven't considered them before. I suggested the minivan they have might not meet our current needs and maybe we need a small car for errands (my dad has a hard time driving a big van all the time) and a larger full size van to get us all around when need be. The minivan is great for blending in to the crowd and getting around easily but we have to take the back seat out for my daughter's car seat so it is quite a hassle. Anyway, I floated the idea and they hadn't thought of it at all. They're so used to just getting by that changes are beyond their thinking and daily living. I feel positive about now and the future, and I'm just going to keep finding things out so I can pass suggestions and maybe ways of doing things on. I was reading back over Lilsister's entry when you mentioned the before and after of your brother coming to live with you. It truly is an amazing turnaround. Well done. What do you think allowed that transition to happen? My brother had his accident at 18 having not left home, or my parents yet, or having a real job. Some of his psychology must revolve around never having made those shifts. And he has my dad to care for him even more so than as a teenager. So in a way he's "still a child" exaserbated by the paralysis and caring situation. Do you know what I mean?

  7. #27
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    Cathy, I'm sorry not to have gotten back to you sooner. We are having some upheaval here, and I haven't been myself. but I am very glad you are feeling better. I just keep telling myself to give it time, cause after every down there has to be an eventual up.

  8. #28
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    Lilsis,
    Are you ok? I'm hear to listen. Honest.
    I just checked this site after not having done so for a week; so sorry I wasn't online when you last wrote.
    Best wishes,
    clipsonc

  9. #29
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    Cathy, sorry for the drama! I have been distracted. And to think I was just recently saying how well we are handling everything, oh well, just goes to show that we all live in glass houses I guess. I'm not sure what will happen but appreciate your caring. When I get a sense of what is going on maybe I can post more coherently. Thanks again. Debra

    [This message was edited by lilsister on 10-03-04 at 10:20 PM.]

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