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Thread: You are a wonderful mom too!

  1. #1
    Senior Member poonsuzanne's Avatar
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    You are a wonderful mom too!

    Dear JAL and Sci Mom,

    You are a wonderful mother too for all that you have done for your child! I know from the beginning that I am no different from or no better than any mother on this site. The honest truth is each word I wrote in my previous posts was expressed purely from the bottom of my heart.

    While I was still at the stage of denial of my son's tragedy, I had totally lost the taste and smell of happiness, so the most enjoyable moments for me were all by myself leaning vulnerably against the couch, with tears kept running down on my face, thinking about the accident, his future and most deeply into his past. I was like floating gradually backwards into the time tunnel to embrace again and again the most precious moments Richard and I had spent together, even small details like: how he whistled and paced swiftly and effortlessly down the staircase with me standing at his back watching him with unexplained joy of comfort; how he looked into the mirror turning side to side and complained about certain part of his body which I perceived to be the most perfectly built one; how he used to go hiking with his dad, again, with me gazing from his back with proud... This kind of behavior was once considered to be most needed for me day in and day out as if I had completely lost myself. And I also remember very well I have repeatedly told myself that the true happiness in me will only be retrieved when Richard is cured!

    All until recently, after 18 months of struggling, I consider the stage of denial for both Richard and I is finally over while, at the same time, we have found the most important person of our lives to consult with, Dr. Wise Young, and also unexpectedly I have made some good friends here who share the same with my exhausting feelings. Since then, true smile seems to reemerge on my face which has been a fake one for continuously 18 months. Today is rather special, the smile on my face is wrongly mixed with two drops of tears for the celebration of support and recognition received.

    Since the day when my first child was born, my love has been delivered immensely to them in the most natural way, I have never wanted my devotion to them to be recognized, wow, but now I find the feeling of being recognized is really cooool. Ironically, my diligent manner in life and dedication to the family has never been recognized by my husband's own family who should know me very well, this serves as a tiny scar on my mind.

    Thanks for sharing the experience and let's keep fighting until the biggest day comes!!

    Warmest regards
    Suzanne

    [This message was edited by Suzanne Poon on 12-09-03 at 05:17 PM.]

  2. #2
    Moderator Obieone's Avatar
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    Suzanne I am so glad you found us ....you are a breathe of fresh air and write so eloquently, thank you for putting into words feelings many of us share in each our own unique way........

  3. #3
    Senior Member poonsuzanne's Avatar
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    Obieone, thank you so much for the words of encouragement, they are one of a kind! I started to wonder where my ability to write comes from, perhaps it is orginated from the fact that I want to participate here, or it could be strictly originated from the POWER OF LOVE to someone.....my son... Suzanne

  4. #4
    Suzanne~

    We mothers do have a bond, don't we? I too am glad that you found this site. It's the best place I've found for support, laughter and understanding. You have become a big part of that as well.

    "Ironically, my diligent manner in life and dedication to the family has never been recognized by my husband's own family who should know me very well, this serves as a tiny scar on my mind."

    I think the most important thing is that you know, in your heart, how devoted you are to your son. If you can rest easy, knowing you have done, and will continue to do everything in your power to help your son...then the rest of the world can fade away. They'll never truly comprehend what you go through anyway..

    Best wishes,
    Vicky

  5. #5
    DONT FORGET US DADS

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