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Thread: "Have you ever been lonely....

  1. #1
    Moderator Obieone's Avatar
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    Question "Have you ever been lonely....

    ....... have you ever been blue " ...... that's an old country song my Dad used to play {Jim Reeves/Patsy Cline} .

    I don't know if it's the change in seasons coming or just the let down after a busy summer of reno's, us moving, kids moving back, kids moving out etc. but I'm feeling like I'm in a bit of a slump.
    Bill's health has been good in general but he seems to have gone into hybernation mode lately and I can't seem to shake him out of it ! I know he's depressed and he takes medication for it but maybe its not enough.... he won't talk about it ..... but ... he doesn't get up until well after noon .... because he says he can't sleep at night .... he has his days and nights switched up ... sort of like what happens to a newborn sometimes .... at least that's my theory and its having a spin off effect on me ... another theory!

    What's going through my mind is ... crap .... I guess this is it .... for the rest of my life .... like it or not ..... Bill takes care of himself ..... period .... and I do the rest ..... I mean almost everything .... all the decisions, everything about the kids, manage finances , working 2 jobs ...... wtf .... I know I'm messed because I don't feel sorry for myself very often ... I'm a glass half full kind of person as a rule ... but I guess after 10 years I'm just getting a little worn out from it all!!

    I realize this sounds like a pity party but I'm really not looking for sympathy ..... I'm just curious if this goes on in any one elses house or are we unique ...... I don't know how much nagging is reasonable anymore.....

    I hope the moment passes soon .... I really hate feeling like this ..... I wanna feel like this .... so thanks for letting me vent! Anyone want to commiserate???

    Obieone
    ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


    " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
    Jane Siberry

  2. #2
    Been there, I'm there most of the time. We're having a good week so far. We spent some good quality time together this past weekend which proved a good thing. But last week I was going through a wanting to "slap the crap" out him phase and the week before I felt so distant and far from him.

    A friend of mine, who is also a wife of a SCI, said our life never settles down, now its gauged in degrees of overwhelming. I think that is so true. Some weeks are great, then Rob has a bad week turns himself inward and I'm left to deal the kids, the house, try to help him and somewhere figure out my own feelings.

    Rob can't sleep at night either. He never goes to sleep before 2am and then is exhausted in the morning. Unlike Bill, Rob is forced out of bed by two young girls who don't really care what time he went to bed.

    My thoughts are with you and enjoy what good weather you have left!
    Kelly

  3. #3
    I know you are a caregiver and I am not but Obie I too am in a slump! Seems the days all run into another, everyone around me spinning in their own orbits with no regard for others outside said orbit or knowledge of whats going on in the big world. Lord knows I do stay busy enough and have plenty of outside interests but.......sometimes just want to open a window and scream, " I can't take it anymore world."


    Yea I do it all too but it is becoming physically difficult(my health of late is rotten) to take it all on, the running of the house and all it entails. I am a glass is full gal too but I have been doing this for 35 years with the same man, thats along time to hold the same job. Now I have grandkids I help out with. I think it is an age thing, I am 53 and see you are as well. I recall my Mom having the same feeling at this age too.

    Help me Obi wan kenobie, you're my only hope:
    Princess Leia
    Last edited by Princess "Leia"; 09-16-2008 at 12:16 PM.

  4. #4
    I'm not a caregiver, but I hope it's okay I'm venturing into this thread.

    I feel what you're feeling at times, too, Obieone. If I look at my life as though this is how it will be for the duration, I can want to scream, "Let me off this ride. It's not what I bargained for ..."

    I cannot know this is how it is. Life may be better. It may be worse. It will almost always be a surprise.

    What helps me is to look at the remainder of my life in terms of right this moment, right now. It seems easier to deal in smaller increments than in viewing this free floating amoeba thing in its entirety. I can get overwhelmed otherwise.

    Sorry you're feeling the angst. I hope you find solace to see you through.

    Maybe I should reflect back the light you always give to others, including me. It's okay to take some of that for yourself, too. It really is.

  5. #5
    I got nuthin' to offer, but I gotcher back, lady. Now, and always. It's an overwhelming time to be alive. Let alone being the mom.

    I have one thought? Every 4 years America goes into attack mode these days. I see a lot of us hunkering down, a lot have turned the news off completely. Election year isn't exciting anymore. It just sucks. Wonder if some of that spills over the border? The stakes are high and the choices are lame. I may be way off but it sure is having an effect on me.

    Love you.

  6. #6
    Moderator Obieone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Princess "Leia"
    I know you are a caregiver and I am not but Obie I too am in a slump! ............
    Help me Obi wan kenobie, you're my only hope:
    Princess Leia
    Ohly Princess Leia ..... were all dead men .. I haven't a clue what I'm talking about here but I am awfully glad you not carer's chime in now and again! We're really all stuck in this crap party together ... pretty much ....

    However ... and on the other hand ..... when the old boy needs a boot in the butt amma gonna give it to him .... but maybe just a little to the left of the finally almost healed pressure sore .... hey ... maybe we should be calling them precious sores .... kidding kidding !

    Obie
    ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


    " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
    Jane Siberry

  7. #7
    Maybe it is the time of the year. I don't even feel to get out of the bed. I am getting up to make dinner and fix the house and I feel I am a burden for everybody, even if I don't need help at all because I have a PA to take care of the house and help me with the shopping. I asked my daughter today if we could go out and she said no, it is too much trouble to find one place to go and anyway I was in such a bad mood, she did not want to spend more than two hours with me at the time.

    Well, thank you for that, if she doesn't want to go out with me how can I expect anybody else to want to. Made me real sad because I hate to be alone at home day after day.
    TH 12, 43 years post

  8. #8
    Moderator Obieone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Obieone
    Ohly Princess Leia ..... were all dead men .. I haven't a clue what I'm talking about here but I am awfully glad you not carer's chime in now and again! We're really all stuck in this crap party together ... pretty much ....

    However ... and on the other hand ..... when the old boy needs a boot in the butt amma gonna give it to him .... but maybe just a little to the left of the finally almost healed pressure sore .... hey ... maybe we should be calling them precious sores .... kidding kidding !

    Obie
    Yikes ..... just read that back .... I really am in a funk .... sorry everyone .... I was kinda trying to be funny !!

    Bente ..... the days are getting shorter again .... that doesn't help does it??

    Obieone
    ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


    " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
    Jane Siberry

  9. #9
    Moderator Obieone's Avatar
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    Oh what the heck ..........


    Have you ever been lonely?
    Have you ever been blue?
    Have you ever loved someone,
    Just as I love you?

    Can't you see that I'm sorry,
    For each mistake I've made?
    Can't you see I've changed dear?
    Can't you see that I've paid?

    Oh, be a little forgiving.
    Take me back in your heart.
    How can I go on living,
    Now that we're apart?

    If you knew what I'd been through,
    You'd know why I ask you:
    Have you ever been lonely?
    Have you ever been blue?

    Be a little forgiving.
    Take me back in your heart.
    How can I go on living,
    Now that we're apart?

    If you knew what I'd been through,
    You'd know why I ask you:
    Have you ever been lonely?
    Have you ever been blue?

    ____ Patsy Cline
    ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


    " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
    Jane Siberry

  10. #10
    I love Patsy Cline.....

    just breathe Obieone....just breathe

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