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Thread: Help. I Need Solution.

  1. #1
    Banned
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Santa Rosa, CA
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    1

    Help. I Need Solution.

    I've Been Injured 3 Years This Month, I'm A C5 Complete. I've Lived With My Mom Since Then And She Usually Takes Care Of Me On The Weekends And Caths Me Once Or Twice At Night. She Also Helps Me With My Daughter Too, Whos 5. This Has Really Strained Our Relationship. It Would Appear That We Hate Eachother, But I Feel Guilty And Shes Burnt Out. I Recently Fired My Caregiver So My Mom Took The Time Off Of Work To Be With Me. Its Been A Week, All We Do Is Fight. As Of Today, She Said I Have Til The End Of The Year To Get My Own Place, Figure Out A Caregiver Situation, And Take Care Of My Daughter Alone. Im Scared And I Feel Really Alone. I Have No Idea How To Begin This Process. I Need Suggestions And Expirience.
    LIVE,
    LAUGH,
    LOVE

  2. #2
    Moderator Obieone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Manitoba,Canada
    Posts
    5,630
    Hi JD !

    Sorry you're having to deal with this "no-win" situation! Can you provide a few more details ?? ..... caring for a family member or spouse with sci is not ideal but if there is no other option there has to be boundaries and respect has to be nurtured or it simply won't work!

    What happened with the caregiver you fired?? Is it possible you could continue to live with your mom but have separate living quarters?? Does your daughters Dad factor into the equation?? Burn out is not uncommon but there is alot to consider here ...... counseling may be helpful for both of you.

    I'm glad you found us ..... we'll try to help you find a solution.

    Obieone
    ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


    " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
    Jane Siberry

  3. #3
    Hey J,

    It's Alissa. Give me a call, I lost your number. We should talk soon.
    "We must become the change we want to see in the world." Gandhi

  4. #4
    Hey, JD!

    You are NOT alone. You may be overwhelmed at the moment, but you are not alone.


    Take a tip from me...don't try to think of everything at once...it will overwhelm you. Break your situation down into parts, and work on fixing a plan for each part of your situation. It's just easier that way.

    Take care!

    Teena

  5. #5
    What are your needs? Start there and figure what needs to be done and continue from there. As Teena said, take it step by step.
    C2/3 quad since February 20, 1985.

  6. #6
    Hi there...saw this was written back in Sept and just wanted to say I hope you are doing ok. I haven't decided if I live with my son, or if he lives with me...younger son built us a home across the driveway from their home, anyways...we live together...he is c4-5 complete...must say there have been a few times we have had it with each other and I say a thing or 2 that I am so ASHAMED of...usually it is when he expects more from me that I am willing to do, an example might be something as simple as him feeding himself, but if it happens to come at a time that I am tired or those moments that I am feeling sorry for myself I blow...what I have learned most is to not let the volcano get too full, so we talk and both have ended in forgiving tears...He feels bad that I am using my "golden years" to care for him...yes, I tell him, they are golden but I can't imagine doing anything differently...I do worry 10/20 years down the line when I'm 70/80 (if I'm lucky) and he 50/60...more the reason for as much independance as he can get...Pray everyday for the Lord to put that special person in his life who will see beyond the friggin sci...

    I hope you and your Mom have resolved your issues and maybe get her on carecure for support...You live in a beautiful part of CA...loved going to Badaga Bay...and Petaluma had some great eating places...judy

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