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Thread: My baby is in the jailhouse. Motherhood sucks.

  1. #41
    Betheny
    Wishing you all the strenght needed during these ordeals.
    Take care of yourself.
    Mioara

  2. #42
    Betheny,

    Ah kids, our great source of joy and pain. Get help for you all. Ya think he has problems dealing with watching you getting hurt than becoming ill, most especially of late with the Graves disease and all and is self-medicating. I know my daughter is just now revealiing how she felt years ago after I got sick. She did rebel then a little.

    You are having more than your share of low balls pitched at ya and having a hard time bating them all out of the park. Seems your needin to go back to you bff in NM. Take care of yourself first, that is your priority in order to deal with the bullshit coming your way!

    Girl, you are juggling too many balls in the air, remember that line Bethany? I am deeply concered for you,
    Leia

  3. #43
    Senior Member fishin'guy's Avatar
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    bff= bi female friend????
    Skippy, wow that was a great way to go,,it worked, superjob.

  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by mr_coffee
    ...
    You could tell him to sign up to the airforce/navy or something like that. Make sure he signs up to a job position where he wouldn't be a meat shield or on the front lines, but maybe work behind the lines.

    ...
    Warning: Danger Will Robinson - Danger - Danger.

    Armed Forces are NOT the place to get away from drugs. Not from personal experience, but the 5 or so people I know that tried that were exposed to stuff they never had access to before, and every one of those people told me, point blank, that while there are positive reasons to join, getting away from drugs is not one of them.

    I'm older, they served long ago, so maybe things have changed, but....
    Don't anthropomorphise computers. They hate that.

  5. #45
    Bethany, very sorry to hear about your son. I think you absolutely did the right thing by leaving him in jail...allowing him to experience some natural consequences. When dealing with a person who has addiction challenges, it's hard to maintain that delicate balance between showing unconditional love and setting firm and consistent boundaries.

    I also think counseling is an excellent idea...if not inpatient, there are good outpatient therapies that are very effective. If cost is a problem, AA and NA are always free and may provide him with the social support (and positive peer pressure) he needs to get and stay clean.

    Wishing you the best during this difficult time.

  6. #46
    Senior Member DaleB's Avatar
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    wow bethany...you sure have your hands full...hoping and praying for the best for you and yours. sending all our love your way...hope it finds you as well as can possibly be expected. cheers -dale
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  7. #47
    Jus saw this.......this a really tough one to deal with. No words of wisdom here, jus wishing the clouds would go away. Many prayers to you and your family.......

  8. #48
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    Holy Crap!!! I have been absent for a few days on family affairs of my own, and just saw this post. B, you certainly did do the right thing by letting him cool his heels in a cell. We did the same thing with our youngest several years ago. It wasn't a little town jail, either. It was the Broward County system. It was a hard thing for us to leave our young PoS there for a few days. Scared the beejeebers out of him, too! Hope it all turns out as well for you.
    Hugs to you in this difficult time.

  9. #49
    So sorry to hear that you are going through all this Bethany. Growing pains I guess. Thing is that I wonder how long before they finally stop. My daughter is obviously still going through them. I agree 100% with your decision not to bail him out either. Hopefully this will open his eyes a bit to reality and responsibility.

    You know, Bethy, I keep telling Nick that as much as we love them, we have to at times let them learn the hard way. When we had our children, they didn't come with a book of instructions so we just do the best we can and hope it all will work out for good.

    Hope things change for you. You are in need of a break from all this. Keep in mind to take care of yourself though. It may take time but things will not always be like this.

    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Raven

  10. #50
    Super Moderator Sue Pendleton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bondo
    Warning: Danger Will Robinson - Danger - Danger.

    Armed Forces are NOT the place to get away from drugs. Not from personal experience, but the 5 or so people I know that tried that were exposed to stuff they never had access to before, and every one of those people told me, point blank, that while there are positive reasons to join, getting away from drugs is not one of them.

    I'm older, they served long ago, so maybe things have changed, but....
    I'm older also but the spousal unit runs a school for the military and it still stands. There's also several pee tests along the way to the day you raise your hand besides random tests once you're in. And it's no longer treated as a disease unless you ask for help before any tests show drugs in your system. Same with alcohol. You get either non-juidicial or judicial punishment, loss of any security clearance and you will have the guilt, if in a combat or combat ready unit, for life that you let your buddies down.

    Honesty when answering recruiter questions on recent drug use and whether soft or hard drugs, dealing, etc., can get you rejected. And forget it if you are a convicted felon. One of the last things you're asked before raising your hand is whether a law enforcement type including a judge has given you a choice of join or jail. That is illegal and the military sends some of their criminal investigative types to have a talk with judges that still do this.

    The military can give a young person direction, self-discipline and self-esteem but the recruit has to be ready to head down those roads. Those who aren't are normally discharged from basic training "for the good of the service".
    Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."

    Disclaimer: Answers, suggestions, and/or comments do not constitute medical advice expressed or implied and are based solely on my experiences as a SCI patient. Please consult your attending physician for medical advise and treatment. In the event of a medical emergency please call 911.

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