View Poll Results: are you ok with your injury?

Voters
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  • has it helped you?

    13 5.65%
  • has it ruined your life?

    104 45.22%
  • did it save your life?

    13 5.65%
  • are you just ok with it and keeping on?

    100 43.48%
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Thread: how many really think they deserved this injury or benefitted by it?

  1. #81
    Senior Member DaleB's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiger Racing
    [...]
    Finding a positive outcome stemming from an overtly negative situation does not mean that one sees that situation as a positive overall.
    C.
    one sentence to say what i tried to articulate in several posts. thank you so much.

    lindox - sry to offend. i had you pegged as a romantic, my bad. no intention to imply you in particular were despairing - more the power of romantic ideals applied to any tough road, really.

    i thought all night long about why, at this early stage in my SCI life, i can't seem to be mad at this yet, or consider it an enemy (not a friend) to be fought day to day.

    i think it all comes back to where i was 'before' and where i am 'now'.

    before - 80-100hr a week work-aholic, absentee dad with 3 kids (and a wife) who needed me more than they needed my money or my career.

    after - 100% full-time homeschooling father of 4 with no need to worry about anything other than raising my wonderful kids and nurturing my relationship with my wife, 24x7. well, and the odd poop or pee in a public place.

    without them - i have no idea how i'd feel, frankly. for me, i guess it's all about my support system making it much easier for me than seems 'normal'.

    another big help - once a month i volunteer in the rehab ward where i spent my inpatient time. those people saved my life and put me on the right track. i remember how much i enjoyed the 'red shirts', as they are called, just stopping by to say 'hey' and share their personal stories of overcoming. it think it really helps to see, regularly, how bad it _can_ be. i roll around, talk to newly injured, fetch ice chips, pray with those so inclined, etc, etc.

    i find trying to help lighten someone else's load the most helpful way to lighten my own!

    sry - i know this is off topic some - it's just been wrackin' my brain all night long

    thanks for all the great replies and heart felt opinions and to the OP for a GREAT, thought provoking thread!
    Last edited by DaleB; 09-08-2008 at 12:51 PM.
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  2. #82
    Senior Member Imight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daleb
    funny, what is one person's hell is another's idea of nearly heaven!
    Pretty much what it boils down too.

    The worst is when people compare each others injuries, one of the weirdest most bizarre things I get from this community.

    edit: looks like there's a tie between "ruined life" and "ok living with it"

    ...pretty much what I expected....
    Last edited by Imight; 09-08-2008 at 04:29 PM.

  3. #83
    Quote Originally Posted by Imight
    The worst is when people compare each others injuries, one of the weirdest most bizarre things I get from this community.
    The only ones that really tend to be compared are healthy, independent people who happen to have a disability and those who are ventilator dependent, racked with pain or otherwise extremely limited due to health issues or physical incapacity. For one of the former to proclaim their lives as pointless or unlivable when faced with one of the latter who is happy and productive is truly bizarre to every rational person that I know.

    edit: looks like there's a tie between "ruined life" and "ok living with it"
    Not really. There are an additional 12% of people who feel that their injury helped them in some way or flat out saved their lives.

    C.

  4. #84
    Senior Member Imight's Avatar
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    Everyones got their own version of hell, and everyones got their own version of heaven......

  5. #85
    I think this is a great question but the only way I can think to pick out any positives is to consider what I would like to retain from my post SCI life if I were cured overnight. They include:

    • My personality and perspective. I value life more and have more empathy.
    • My friends. I've made some strong friendships post SCI that I'm not sure would have evolved from my pre SCI lifestyle
    • The path I've taken - seperated, single and living in the city. I would probably have slogged on in an unhappy marriage.

    None of those is any reason to say I deserved my injury or it saved me. I'd turn back time in an instant and forget those things if I could but I was definitely a different person. I like myself (not physically) more now, I just wish I could combine the two.
    C5/6 incomplete

    "I assume you all have guns and crack....."

  6. #86
    Quote Originally Posted by Imight
    Everyones got their own version of hell, and everyones got their own version of heaven......
    And some people have perspective and some people don't.

    C.

  7. #87
    Next greatest thing to happen to me since receiving my first blow job..fantastic,marvelous fckin love it! Yay SCI!

  8. #88
    No the physical and mental pain is something that only people who have been there can understand. No one deserves this situation no one. Put anyone in our situation for one week and tell me how fast the right would say, do what it takes to find relief.
    T6 complete

  9. #89
    (box of chocolates).... you don't know what you are going to get until you take a bite. Some are good and some are just horrible.
    ...and sometimes you just bite around the all that yucky stuff, and maybe....maybe get a lil bit of a taste ... maybe not to satisfy, but juuuuuuust enough of somethin sweet to keep ya pickin and lickin thru all the crap.


    but then again, why waste time pickin thru a crappy box when you coulda just bought the good box of chocolates to begin with...knowing what each and every yummy piece you were gettin??

    too boring, you say?

    maybe they were out of stock?
    maybe you're brokeass was reduced to buying the box on sale?

    a crappy goo filled box?
    a box full of variety and sweet surprises?

    the mind is a powerful thing.

    just let me know how sweet your shit tastes, after you've had a bite...or even a lick.

    C'mon, Try it.
    Yucky shit. pfffffttt. it's just in your head.

    Hmmm... we can coat it with chocolate. maybe sweeten the delusion up a bit and make it more enticing.

    If ya reeeally want that yummy chocolate...
    (hey, look, even man Bear drank elephant dung juice! Nasty yea. But served a necessary function, huh.)

    *sigh* Our crazy mushy lil brain. It knows reality. To delude or not delude. eh, just delude self that it's not deluding self. Ahh. bliss is readily attained.

    Kinda neat how our brain perseveres and preserves.

  10. #90
    the root of suffering is comparison. comparing yourself to others, to yourself long ago, to some imagined future. it's non-sense for me and i don't do it.
    It depends.

    After my sci I just wanted to get on with my life, returning to my high school made that sometimes difficult. I couldn't help but compare my life to my friends' and become jealous.

    Thankfully college was different, I began learning what was going on in Central America at that time [i.e. war, torture, death squads], chose International Studies as my major, which helped me see the suffering that others experience in this world and be thankful for what I had.

    Cass the only benefits I obtained was I became more studious than I had been for a few years and it's given me perspective. Otherwise, it's just ok.

    Oj I remeber the period of wishing it away, oh how I remember those feelings. You will get passed that.
    Embrace uncertainty. Hard problems rarely have easy solutions. Jonah Lehrer

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