View Poll Results: are you ok with your injury?

Voters
230. You may not vote on this poll
  • has it helped you?

    13 5.65%
  • has it ruined your life?

    104 45.22%
  • did it save your life?

    13 5.65%
  • are you just ok with it and keeping on?

    100 43.48%
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Thread: how many really think they deserved this injury or benefitted by it?

  1. #11
    Senior Member darrel's Avatar
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    Had a heart attack and fell off a ladder, they tell me if I had been at home in my recliner when it happened I would not be here today.

  2. #12
    I would for sure have had a nice university education if it wasn't for my SCI. And I would have had a nice job and maybe even a nice husband since I only have possibility for the left overs

    I bothers me that the men don't look at me as a sexual person anymore, I am just the woman in wheelchair with three children. I like a flirt when I am out, not stupid question about my sexllife and how I pee.
    TH 12, 43 years post

  3. #13
    How many answers are there for "was there a reason"? Either it comes back to really fucking bad luck, or one believes that a higher power somehow, someway played a role. Any of the above will depend on what one believed before their injury, and can change with time. It's such an individual thing that one person's answer really isn't going to change anyone else's beliefs about the "why" of it - imo. Nor does the "why" of it change that it happened, and the cards that were dealt have to be played however the individual best can.

    Debbie would tell you that it was the shit she dealt with before her sci that gave her strength to get through it. She may have had more character building and learned some life lessons faster than the average person as a result of dealing with sci, but believes there are kinder and gentler ways of getting those lessons. But... it is what it is and she can't change it, so she plays with cards she was dealt with with as much grace as she can. Some days it's easier than others.
    Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
    - Albert Einstein

  4. #14
    I'll answer the poll questions since they are things I have been thinking a lot about lately
    has it helped you?

    I wrote about this in the "perks of disability" thread. While I would never say the injury itself was a positive thing or that it helped me in any way at all, I do seem to need to find and hold onto whatever rare positives have come out of it. Otherwise I would not get through this. The positives are admittedly few and far in between. But they include a few dear friends I have made here are care cure and from rehab. I also do think that it has made me a kinder, more patient person, who is much more aware of the suffering of others. It has brought me closer to my family, taught me what love and committment really means.



    has it ruined your life?
    Absolutely yes. It has completely destroyed my life and has taken away all my hopes and dreams for the future. Everything I was working toward, everything I hoped to be and do with my life, was taken away in a few seconds. I can't get over this and I don't think I ever will.

    did it save your life?
    No. My life didn't need saving when this happened. I was very content with my life and had great hopes for the future. In truth, I more often than not wish I hadn't survived that day at all. But I can fully respect when people say their own injuries saved their lives because they were heading down a destructive path.


    are you just ok with it and keeping on?

    Honestly no I am not just okay with it.

    I have good and bad days. Far more bad days than good it seems. On the bad days I think "enough is enough" and I often feel no desire or strength to keep dealing with this. That the bad days seem to be increasing lately worries me in some ways. Makes me more indifferent to life in general in other ways. On the good days, which I thankfully do still have on occasion, my thinking goes more along the lines of this: I am not okay with things but this is how they are. So I have to move forward because I have no choice.

    I can remember there was a time during my first year hurt that I would lay in my bed every day and cry and think "why can't I just wish this all away?" That thought still enters my mind from time to time. But mostly now it has been replaced with "what the f**k did I do to ever deserve this?"

    I think rather than being okay with the injury, I am pretty much just living in a constant state of defeated acceptance.
    Last edited by orangejello; 09-03-2008 at 01:05 PM.

  5. #15
    Senior Member
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    All I can say is"wuv ya girlie"



    Quote Originally Posted by orangejello
    I'll answer the poll questions since they are things I have been thinking a lot about lately
    has it helped you?

    I wrote about this in the "perks of disability" thread. While I would never say the injury itself was a positive thing or that it helped me in any way at all, I do seem to need to find and hold onto whatever rare positives have come out of it. Otherwise I would not get through this. The positives are admittedly few and far in between. But they include a few dear friends I have made here are care cure and from rehab. I also do think that it has made me a kinder, more patient person, who is much more aware of the suffering of others. It has brought me closer to my family, taught me what love and committment really means.



    has it ruined your life?
    Absolutely yes. It has completely ruined my life and has taken away all my hopes and dreams for the future. Everything I was working toward, everything I hoped to be and do with my life, was taken away in a few seconds. I can't get over this and I don't think I ever will.

    did it save your life?
    No. My life didn't need saving when this happened. I was very content with my life and had great hopes for the future. In truth, I more often than not wish I hadn't survived that day at all. But I can fully respect when people say their own injuries saved their lives because they were heading down a destructive path.


    are you just ok with it and keeping on?

    Honestly no I am not "just okay" with it.

    I have good and bad days. Far more bad days than good it seems. On the bad days I think "enough is enough" and I often feel no desire or strength to keep dealing with this. That the bad days seem to be increasing lately worries me in some ways. Makes me more indifferent to life in general in other ways. On the good days, which I thankfully do still have on occasion, my thinking goes more along the lines of this: I am not okay with things but this is how they are. So I have to move forward because I have no choice.

    I can remember there was a time during my first year hurt that I would lay in my bed every day and cry and think "why can't I just wish this all away?" That thought still enters my mind from time to time. But mostly now it has been replaced with "what the f**k did I do to ever deserve this?"

    I think rather than being "ok" with the injury, I am pretty much just living in a constant state of defeated acceptance.

  6. #16
    it has ruined my life , i'm sick of this crap and somebody needs to get their ass in gear and fix this crap.
    oh well

  7. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by Seenkid101
    ...but i also feel like life is like the Movie Final Destination..if i were to have not gotten on that four wheeler i feel as though something else would have happened to me. It could have been that if i didn't wreck that night maybe on my way home with my girlfriend we could have gotten in a car wreck and both died. ..
    I always had that exact feeling. My bff's husband died of a heart attack the night of my sci. The only reason I wasn't with her is that he seemed to be getting better, I had company, I called her, she said 'No, all is well, go, have fun. I'm OK. They're moving Gary out of ICU tomorrow."

    We were SO careful that night. Stayed downtown to eliminate any drinking and driving. Wound up scarcely drinking at all. Only went out in a group of 3, for safety in rough'n'tumble downtown Houston. Only wore silver jewelry, carried very little cash, b/c there are fates down there you don't want to tempt by wearing diamonds and gold. We were practically sedate that night.

    Then I fell in a fountain.

    When I broke my neck, I thought "If I'd been at the hospital with Gina, I think I'd have been run over by an ambulance while out smoking in front of the ER."

    Not that there is "some reason this happened", or "God has a plan". More like "Shit happens, and my name came up."

  8. #18
    Super Moderator Sue Pendleton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Juke_spin
    Jen, many if not most of us here are in that same boat: somebody else did this to us. My own experience - and it took me most of the decades I've lived post to come to it - is that the sooner we can move past the blaming phase of this mess the better will be our outlook and prospects for a worthwhile future. And, again, welcome to the CC community.
    This is pretty good advice Juke gave you. I've been working on getting past not blaming someone for my SCI (see answer to Bethany for that) but for killing my little sister when I was a week shy of 13 and she was 10. He was an off duty fireman and should have known so well what happens when you drive drunk. He got off scott free because the paramedics from his station responded. After sending the neighbor girl off to weeks in the hospital and years of differing therapies; they plugged a banana bag into him. A fireman checking for gas leaks inside the garage under the cars found my sister. She died 3 hours later never regaining consciousness. After dealing with my sister they took their time at the scene before taking the drunk in for a blood test. The hospital was still busy working on the girl next door so more delay for the test. He was under the 0.10 DUI cut off when they finally drew blood.

    About a year ago I finally asked my bff to look up the newspapers from that time. I couldn't handle finding them back when it happened and Dad or our neighbor's Dad had the newspaper boy send them over to another neighbor's. My brothers found them but I couldn't bring myself to read them. Anyway, she couldn't believe this guy got off with no broken anything and a dozen witnesses who saw him weaving at 50 mph down a suburban street posted at 25.

    Anyway, I called my Dad and told him I was thinking of writing this guy a letter. "Why?" Because I don't want him dying thinking he got away with this. I want him to know when he dies that someone remembers and I don't want him to die easy. "Sue, leave it be. It will eat you alive. Let it go." My Dad is rarely wrong. And I think he's right again. It sure as hell isn't easy though. And to have a sister now to help deal with this SCI stuff would be nice. Not physically help but emotional support, you know.

    Jen, I'm 49 now. It will eat you alive. Sue and get a decent settlement if you can but let the blame go. You don't have to forgive whoever it was; but, you have to look forward. Concentrate on that as much as possible.
    Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."

    Disclaimer: Answers, suggestions, and/or comments do not constitute medical advice expressed or implied and are based solely on my experiences as a SCI patient. Please consult your attending physician for medical advise and treatment. In the event of a medical emergency please call 911.

  9. #19
    I think it did something to change my life.

    I have a story that goes with it, but will not share it on line. It is something I will tell directly to people.

    Am I happy about it? Not with the bs that comes with it.
    but I am willing to accept it and live the best I may.
    Rick Brauer or just call me - Mr B

    http://www.riseadventures.org

  10. #20
    Super Moderator Sue Pendleton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by betheny
    I always had that exact feeling. My bff's husband died of a heart attack the night of my sci. The only reason I wasn't with her is that he seemed to be getting better, I had company, I called her, she said 'No, all is well, go, have fun. I'm OK. They're moving Gary out of ICU tomorrow."
    .......

    Then I fell in a fountain.

    When I broke my neck, I thought "If I'd been at the hospital with Gina, I think I'd have been run over by an ambulance while out smoking in front of the ER."

    Not that there is "some reason this happened", or "God has a plan". More like "Shit happens, and my name came up."
    A fountain!?! That still tickles my 'not so funny' bone. I still can't believe someone like Beth could be done in by a fountain. Well, I know this was not "God has a plan". You have to believe in some huge puppeter in the sky to go there. "Some reason this happened"? To wipe my family line off the Earth, maybe? I mean first my sister; then my older brother hit a piece of black ice; and my little brother hit by leukemia. So knock me out because I was planning on that family thing right then? Wouldn't a nice simple inhospitable uterus be simpler than plotting a spinal stroke? Or to piss me off with the frustration of it all that I'd get into the cure advocacy side of this? I was close to finishing my poli sci degree when this hit so getting there might have happened anyway.

    "Shit happens"? Hmmm. At what point does coincidence become a lightening bolt looming over your head waiting to strike You? Not him or her but Sue. If the spinal infarct happened the Monday before or the Monday after I would have already dropped the spousal unit at work and been home reading the Stars and Stripes and drinking coffee. When the pain hit I probably would have done the same thing I did beside that county road on Memorial Day Monday. Shake out the arms, bend over and shake the hands. When the pain stopped and my hands felt numb I would have curled up with my pup on the sofa for a nap. By the time I woke up because breathing was hard I wouldn't have been able to move and died. But it was an American holiday in Germany so two cars of us were together. "Shit happens"?

    Too much coincidice for me Beth. Should be for you too I suppose. I figure I was Ivan the Terrible in a past life. I'm hoping this life straightens all the bad karma out. I'm hoping the next time around I come back as a basically nice person with a basic boring life in a small town someplace that has indoor plumbing and solid floors.

    Deserve this injury Cass? I was no saint but nothing to deserve this either. Not in this life anyway. Benefitted by a non-traumatic SCI? It all evens out I guess so I'd say NO. Pretty much ruined my plans and even my back up plans for my life.
    Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."

    Disclaimer: Answers, suggestions, and/or comments do not constitute medical advice expressed or implied and are based solely on my experiences as a SCI patient. Please consult your attending physician for medical advise and treatment. In the event of a medical emergency please call 911.

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