View Poll Results: are you ok with your injury?

Voters
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  • has it helped you?

    13 5.65%
  • has it ruined your life?

    104 45.22%
  • did it save your life?

    13 5.65%
  • are you just ok with it and keeping on?

    100 43.48%
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Thread: how many really think they deserved this injury or benefitted by it?

  1. #291
    Senior Member Oddity's Avatar
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    There is no definitive version of what it means to live with SCI. We were all completely different and unique people before this, and we are all different and completely unique people now. My SCI isn't yours. Your SCI isn't mine. It is pointless, in the extreme, for any of us try to answer this question in anything other than our own different and unique way. And certainly pointless to devalue others in the process. If you are living a miserable, tortured, worthless existence then WHY continue?!?! If you're living a meaningful, fulfilling, worthwhile existence WHY NOT continue? It takes all kinds to make this world go 'round. Live and let live, or die. Our choice. No excuses. The pot is for shitting, not sitting!
    "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it." - Edgar Allen Poe

    "If you only know your side of an issue, you know nothing." -John Stuart Mill, On Liberty

    "Even what those with the greatest reputation for knowing it all claim to understand and defend are but opinions..." -Heraclitus, Fragments

  2. #292
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    I don't believe in " Everything happens for a reason" type of mentality. Though in essence , it does , but in a scientific way. Before my husbands accident he worked from morning till night. He was so miserable and tired, and withdrawn. I kept asking him all the time when he was going to slow down and live some of his precious life before it was too late. The accident kind of gave him his "freedom" in a way. Freedom from working yourself to death , and it just tore him from everything that he thought was important, and made him understand what really was. In that way, I guess he is free. But in others (like pain pain pain), not so much.

  3. #293
    I had a minor epileptic fit, just a ten second dizzy spell, which was something new for me, whilst setting up ropes for a group of kids to go climbing and I fell about fifteen metres on to rocky ground. It was bad timing and the result was bad for me but if it had happened whilst I was driving the kids there in the mini-bus it could have been very bad for a lot more people.
    Spinal injuries are horrible but, for me at least, I consider them a better option than death and my accident was very nearly fatal so I try not to complain too much and had to pick the last option.

  4. #294
    My autobiography is titled "Just an Innocent kid." When I was 16 I got thrown into SCI prison for no reason and no hope of getting out. That sums up my perspective. I have had a great life post-injury but without the SCI I might have done better.

    As far as getting killed instead of injured is concerned I have not drawn any conclusion. I will say that I have heard an outpouring of complaints from people with an SCI but I have yet to hear a dead person complain. lol
    You will find a guide to preserving shoulder function @
    http://www.rstce.pitt.edu/RSTCE_Reso...imb_Injury.pdf

    See my personal webpage @
    http://cccforum55.freehostia.com/

  5. #295
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    Looking back, I had enough warning telling me "I better slow down." Even minor accident before big one. Was making so much money, I traded in the minor accident vehicle the following day and bought big accident vehicle. Still kept going and going and going, but I liked that. I should have slowed things down. Did I deserve this, I got no idea. Sure as hell wish would have slowed down. Unable to change the past.

  6. #296
    This was an interesting read...almost 6 years after it started.

    I have a good life. Not because of my SCI, but in spite of it. I used to whine and complain all the time on this forum 10+ years ago. My life would be better if I wasn't a quad, but my life is better now than I ever thought it could be as a quad.

  7. #297
    Quote Originally Posted by wheeliecoach View Post
    So my husband has both a brain injury and a spinal cord injury...according to you...he does not fully realize what he lost...have news for you, he knows it better than a lot of people. He does have memory of what his life was like before the injury...and he has the ability to know what his life is like now. Is he better off than you who has no brain injury? I think not. You and him are the same in the fact that you know what life was like before. Sorry, but your comment rubbed me the wrong way. Brain injured people can reason and do have memories...and even if that is impaired...they can see what other ABs can do and see they cannot.
    You let it rub you the wrong way by interpreting it that way. All I said was SOME people may wish they had a brain injury so they didn't fully realize what they have lost you can't deny that no one can the infinite possibilities of someone's perspective and reactions towards SCI are incalculable to a degree that you are far better off saying someone probably thinks that way then you are saying no living person does, that may be an ignorant statement to minor brain injuries, and I should of clarified major brain injuries because I know a few TBI that don't know the difference between Barney and James Bond and will dance to opera, hip-hop, country, basically any noise and are beyond happy (until they don't get their yogurt), to a level that is not possible if you are of sound mind.
    Last edited by JamesMcM; 06-10-2014 at 12:42 AM.

  8. #298
    Quote Originally Posted by Oddity View Post
    There is no definitive version of what it means to live with SCI. We were all completely different and unique people before this, and we are all different and completely unique people now. My SCI isn't yours. Your SCI isn't mine. It is pointless, in the extreme, for any of us try to answer this question in anything other than our own different and unique way. And certainly pointless to devalue others in the process. If you are living a miserable, tortured, worthless existence then WHY continue?!?! If you're living a meaningful, fulfilling, worthwhile existence WHY NOT continue? It takes all kinds to make this world go 'round. Live and let live, or die. Our choice. No excuses. The pot is for shitting, not sitting!
    Exactly right, the way I look at it is we are mere organic astral dust specks on a small rock in a much bigger playing field then we can possibly comprehend, so how can one spec or 10 or 20 or a million outweigh another specs opinion. When every single thing we know and used to form those opinions mean absolutely nothing only a few SHORT miles straight upwards. Most people choose not to think that vividly or widely as I would say. so TRY to respect everyone's opinion for what it's worth is what I would say (very difficult). But I do believe the problem most people were having was people like you that choose to search and find happiness after something as devastating as spinal cord injury, sort of hold that above or look down upon the people that don't find happiness after injury. Which is evident that unfortunately you do " If you are living a miserable, tortured, worthless existence then WHY continue". If you weren't trying to prove a point or kick up dust you would have simply said something quiet, neutral, something along the lines of "if you're unhappy after spinal cord injury that's fine I'm happy after injury and that's fine too" The simple facts are (this isn't an opinion I may a point out) is sayings like you can do anything after SCI you just have to go out and do it are completely and utterly false, quite epically actually!! down to the science of neurogenic bladder's, muscle atrophy and axons not responding etc. This is more subjective because I have no facts or support from the damaged human anatomy, but I feel extremely confident in saying the assumption that any individual after SCI no matter what lost joy they loved to do or obsessed over before injury, no matter what age, sex, culture, race, class etc. can find something new that is as important, meaningful, and enjoyable as life for-filling to them after being paralyzed Is also garbage. For example a soccer player finding something as important to them without the use of their legs, or a kickboxer finding that same purpose without the ability to fight. I don't believe that for one second, I've heard many people guitar players, travelers, rugby players, fighters tell me the same thing that is absolute rubbish. Your understanding of all of our individual unique ways spits in the face of that theory, And that exact assumption has been thrown at me and others many of many times, as if it were holier than the Bible, more solid than the foundations of the earth, the Alpha AND the Omega. (also my apologies for not clarifying Oddity you may have never said or made that assumption, I'm not directing this at you I'm speaking to everyone now)

    Now here's my opinion SCI, spinal cord injury is truly sickening to me I PERSONALLY feel that medicine stabilizes the spine, then leaves us to our own devices which is not much especially for higher injuries for a period of time to cope, create coping mechanisms, go insane, adjust to the cage sort of speak. Then they teach us all the (again my opinion, not trying to offend anyone) the "degrading" and arduously long procedures that we will have to endure to survive. Well.... For MYSELF, YES I do think there's a problem with that, but that's the person I am, this person was created by a many multitude of scenarios influences and a incredible variety of "stuff"life through at me, completely different from any and all of you and vice versa even if some of us agree. Too answer this question yes my life was crushed, I don't feel I have a life worth living like this. Now I'm taking some advice and even though I going to see psychiatrist, specialties, taking pills, looking into new hosing and caregivers, I am still tormented by my dreams of boxing and hoping every morning hoping I don't wake up, because I don't want to do and do a Nother day as a quadriplegic, that's me James it's not right it's not wrong, just like it's not weak it's not strong, just my choice. And to say that you are just making that choice, or change your perspective is pretty ridiculous don't you think? Think about it of course I'm making that choice there's no arguing that, but what sort of foundation creates choice makes it so real I will follow that choice to the end into the unknown against all odds, quite simple mainly pride and ego. How one individual's pride and ego is created is exactly like perspective a wide variety of stuff (for lack of a better terminology) that they go through throughout their life, how they react, how they analyze it, how it influences them, how it inspires them etc. That's obvious everyone knows that, it's extremely complicated yet simple, but then there's the aspect of what we're born with, for instance why is it that some babies hate squished beans yet others can't get enough of them, worldly influences not likely, genetics maybe I'm no psychiatrist or doctor but I despise prunes ever since I was a child my mother used to laugh as she put it in my oatmeal no matter how much brown sugar she put in I tasted them, now I don't particularly like spinach or kale but as an adult I force myself to eat it because it's healthy, I can't force myself to eat prunes, same as avocado, or the fat on stake since I started eating them always cut it off. Yet others love all of those but can't stand bananas, I love bananas you get what I'm saying somethings are just hardwired in us and I'm more than willing to believe that birth can influence a hell of a lot more then just taste. Imagine if all of us could just let go of pride and ego just because we have no other choice, I think our history would be much different, I think society as a whole would be unimaginably different could very well be worse or better. It's human Pride, ego, CHOICE it's just who we are, and completely different from every single individual on this planet.

    But as I said previously I think we can all agree that spinal cord injury is a deplorable and horrific blight to endure for any human to the point my measly vocabulary nah the entire English dictionary does not possess a group of words to truly emphasize the level of tragedy. And yes different levels and severity of injuries are very very VERY different things. But even as my first sentence is true, there are worse things to endure for other people, death for one, traumatic brain injury for another, cancer etc. But no matter what it's up there. It's no different than me being afraid of sharks, and you being afraid of mustard (yeah I seen it terrified) whether we think it's silly or not to one another doesn't change the fact that I'm not jumping in the ocean anytime soon and whoever that is isn't enjoying mustard on their hotdog.

    NOW!! Lol if you were to tell me that spinal cord injury is a good thing, well first say it's a good thing it happened to you I would be completely and utterly baffled. Wouldn't know what to say, my go to (sorry please try to understand for the debates sake) would be to assume you didn't live a fulfilling life before your injury, or just completely adjusted to your prison cell and entered a deep deep stage of denial, obviously others feel the same way because the exact view has been express, but to be honest I really don't think many people actually truly believe that. Either way doesn't mean it's the Alpha and Omega, just another persons opinion. BUT if you were to tell me SCI is a good thing in a whole, I would think you're a terrible delusional person that needs psychiatric help, for example to hear about someone being injured and to think oh good he'll see life from a new light, Dingdong I'll probably have a brain aneurysm.

    LMAO as I finish my analysis this thread, and well multiple threads on this and other SCI forums act 2 AM, I will point a very common scenario. 8 times Out of 10 anyone standing up for their hatred of SCI, and they're miserable life post injury, wishes to die etc. although often times becoming aggressive and angry and making mistakes swearing and coming off as belligerent are only defending themselves from ridicule, judgment, and annoying catchphrases they heard in rehab that they really don't believe it and basically hate, as well as snotty one-liners. And when called out are actually quite happy other people find happiness with SCI, some are unimpressed by it, others are in a way but I have really never seen anyone trying to enforce their misery on to others. Now let's flip the coin, EVERY TIME well pretty well every time someone with the opinion of near complete happiness and a fulfilling life after spinal cord injury is completely possible is just a matter of choice and perspective etc. is with judgment for example the all too common ridiculous "stop feeling sorry for yourself" or you're not a fighter, you're being weak, other people have it worse etc Then come the snotty one-liners "you weren't to fighter" "okay you keep being miserable good on ya" etc (yes I am using examples all pertaining to what people have said to myself, but when looking at other people with similar views as me the snotty one-liners and judgment lines are very similar. Now there is a big difference between someone saying "I hate my life, I'm just a cripple", or "bowel care is completely degrading and disgusting I'm dishonouring myself" etc generally expressing what they hate about living with spinal cord injury, that's all directed at themselves personally, it's not an out right insult or addressing everyone that is disabled most of us do our best to emphasize that is strictly personal (these attempts are always ignored) and are taking as completely offensive direct attacks. But saying "you're being weak", "you're being a whiny ass" "if you want to die why are you wasting resources"etc are 100% direct insults!! Now some of you are trying to inspire The hard way, others will say that but that is not true there's too much emphasis and tone and the way you wright, bitch after almost a year on year has led me to come to the conclusion you're defending your own idea, then you're trying to prove to yourself that what we say has no value or reality do it. I am not trying to tell you what's going through your mind or why any of you do but you do, I hate that gets done to me on here all too often I'm just giving you the conclusion that five notice...

  9. #299
    Senior Member wheeliecoach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JamesMcM View Post
    You let it rub you the wrong way by interpreting it that way. All I said was SOME people may wish they had a brain injury so they didn't fully realize what they have lost you can't deny that no one can the infinite possibilities of someone's perspective and reactions towards SCI are incalculable to a degree that you are far better off saying someone probably thinks that way then you are saying no living person does, that may be an ignorant statement to minor brain injuries, and I should of clarified major brain injuries because I know a few TBI that don't know the difference between Barney and James Bond and will dance to opera, hip-hop, country, basically any noise and are beyond happy (until they don't get their yogurt), to a level that is not possible if you are of sound mind.
    Be careful what you wish for...the grass is not always greener on the other side. I think I much rather be SCI then be like my best friend's husband who cannot go home to his kids because he does not know how to interact with them since his brain injury...or be able to drive...or be able to work...etc. I am in a chair as well...and I see both sides...while I would give up this chair in a second if I could...and while my husband would do the same...brain injuries are not where it is at either. We have the ability to say I am done with this life...and I am going to end it or I am going to live my life to the best I can in spite of SCI. Those with serious TBIs are not so lucky. They are trapped in an existence that is not pleasant and they cannot make that decision for themselves. Sorry...just not buying that a brain injury is somehow better than what we go through. If anything, I think neither one is something I would wish on my worst enemy. Sorry about your injury...I really am...as I am that everyone on this site is on here for basically the same reason...but again...be careful what you wish for.
    Last edited by wheeliecoach; 06-10-2014 at 09:01 AM.
    "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot nothing's going to get better. It's not." - Dr. Seuss

  10. #300
    Quote Originally Posted by wheeliecoach View Post
    Be careful what you wish for...the grass is not always greener on the other side. I think I much rather be SCI then be like my best friend's husband who cannot go home to his kids because he does not know how to interact with them since his brain injury...or be able to drive...or be able to work...etc. I am in a chair as well...and I see both sides...while I would give up this chair in a second if I could...and while my husband would do the same...brain injuries are not where it is at either. We have the ability to say I am done with this life...and I am going to end it or I am going to live my life to the best I can in spite of SCI. Those with serious TBIs are not so lucky. They are trapped in an existence that is not pleasant and they cannot make that decision for themselves. Sorry...just not buying that a brain injury is somehow better than what we go through. If anything, I think neither one is something I would wish on my worst enemy. Sorry about your injury...I really am...as I am that everyone on this site is on here for basically the same reason...but again...be careful what you wish for.
    No you're totally right, i'm just saying that it's there, just throwing a bizarre scenario! I know a minor/ major brain injury he still has sensation and act a lot worse than he actually is just so he can feel up the pretty physiotherapist, poor guy there catching on to him now. Like I said well you and I may or may not think its worse, there's more than likely someone out there that does. But like you said you wouldnt wish either or on your worst enemy, nor would I they're both horrific beyond our worst able-bodied imaginations. To argue about the multi million population that lives with spinal cord injury and that at least one or more of those individuals has never felt that way is ridiculous and irrelevant. For me personally as of right now Id rather die than live with either one The rest of my life. just have to muster up the balls and get the paper work together, but that's JUST ME! I will reiterate I'm not saying there is anything wrong with living like this for anyone else not even remote. Before any of you feel the need to attack, judge, engage snotty comments please understand I meant no offense and am just speaking for myself personally, similar things have been said by many other people on this thread, considering the majority being 45% say it ruined their life and anywhere from 10 to 30% of that group expressed they cant see themselves living with this forever. It's just different from person to person no better no worse, I go pretty in-depth on this above.
    Last edited by JamesMcM; 06-10-2014 at 09:38 PM.

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