Page 6 of 8 FirstFirst 12345678 LastLast
Results 51 to 60 of 72

Thread: Quadraplegic athlete decides to end her life

  1. #51
    Senior Member Mona~on~wheels's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Cleburne, Texas, USA
    Posts
    5,664
    Quote Originally Posted by lynnifer
    OMG Eileen - I had no idea. That must have been terrible!!! My parents weren't allowed to visit during the week at the hospital and they were encouraged to only visit one day on the weekends. This was supposed to keep me focused on rehab. I was always left wondering why they didn't just break the rules? I would have if it were my child.
    I know I would! I would have put them in their place.
    We all have the physical & emotional pain surviving sci,
    but to add on the lack of family to help us get thru it, just floors me.
    If I remember right you were just 12 y/o.
    I'm so sorry Lynnifer. {hugs} My heart hurts for the pain you endured.
    To lay there paralyzed wondering why they didn't come is hard to understand.
    You're a class act to not be bitter at the world.

  2. #52
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    last house on the left
    Posts
    9,791
    Thank you Kittem and Lynnifer for your kind comments. Yes, it was pretty terrible, but not totally unpredictable either, since one doesn't go from being a great parent to an absent parent overnight. I think in many ways I was just so embarrassed and lonely. The hospital chaplin was an incredible guy who must have realized (well, I am sure the entire staff realized) that things were not exactly well on the family level, and he sort of stepped into the void in many ways. I was on a Stryker frame, and one day he pretended to kidnap me, pushing me through the hospital floors until we got to his private residence (Catholic hospital, so it was attached) where he had gotten me a frappe, which was one of the few things I could stomach at the time. We watched TV and then he pushed me back. In retrospect, I am sure the nurses were all in on it, but they pretended they had no idea where I was and that they had sent out an alert. He visited me for several months after my discharge too, and one of the things I remember about him was that he would arrive, turn his clerical collar around backwards, and tell me he was there as a friend first, and not as a priest.
    One of the things I was trying to express in my post about the quad who is the subject of this post was not about her possible recovery or how much more difficult it might have been because of her age. I agree that it would have been more difficult, but that is not where I was coming from. I think that sometimes people, even here, regard return of function as bigger player in return to happiness than it sometimes is. I guess what I am saying is that having a family who loves and supports you is huge, and while everyone wants as much return as they can get post injury, happiness can be measured in other ways too. If it couldn't be we would see that every quad was miserable and every low para was comparatively happier.

  3. #53
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    last house on the left
    Posts
    9,791
    Aww, shucks Mona........thank you......

  4. #54
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Norway
    Posts
    17,427
    live and work for a SCI cure

  5. #55
    Quote Originally Posted by Wesley
    the difficult part of the story for me is that she had only been injured a few days before. I wonder how many of us would've chosen death if we had been able to in those first few days, weeks, months after injury. The only reason she was blinking instead of talking was probably because they hadn't installed a trach yet. I was on a ventilator for three months after I was first injured and in the future would choose no treatment before facing a lifetime of vent dependency. But should I have had the choice to turn off the vent in the first few weeks of my injury? maybe there's an argument that a recently injured person should be prevented from suicide until they have a clearer picture of their circumstances?
    i agree. a lot can happen in a year. she could have gotten some return. life and death decisions shouldn't be made within those first few days.
    Last edited by antiquity; 08-30-2008 at 07:50 PM.

  6. #56
    Quote Originally Posted by Eileen
    Thank you Kittem and Lynnifer for your kind comments. Yes, it was pretty terrible, but not totally unpredictable either, since one doesn't go from being a great parent to an absent parent overnight. I think in many ways I was just so embarrassed and lonely. The hospital chaplin was an incredible guy who must have realized (well, I am sure the entire staff realized) that things were not exactly well on the family level, and he sort of stepped into the void in many ways. I was on a Stryker frame, and one day he pretended to kidnap me, pushing me through the hospital floors until we got to his private residence (Catholic hospital, so it was attached) where he had gotten me a frappe, which was one of the few things I could stomach at the time. We watched TV and then he pushed me back. In retrospect, I am sure the nurses were all in on it, but they pretended they had no idea where I was and that they had sent out an alert. He visited me for several months after my discharge too, and one of the things I remember about him was that he would arrive, turn his clerical collar around backwards, and tell me he was there as a friend first, and not as a priest.
    One of the things I was trying to express in my post about the quad who is the subject of this post was not about her possible recovery or how much more difficult it might have been because of her age. I agree that it would have been more difficult, but that is not where I was coming from. I think that sometimes people, even here, regard return of function as bigger player in return to happiness than it sometimes is. I guess what I am saying is that having a family who loves and supports you is huge, and while everyone wants as much return as they can get post injury, happiness can be measured in other ways too. If it couldn't be we would see that every quad was miserable and every low para was comparatively happier.
    ita and have pointed that out over the years. a support system is everything. sometimes those who have it don't realize how fortunate they are. one of my greatest fears as i age is becoming dependent on an abusive caregiver.

  7. #57
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Placerville, CA
    Posts
    8,259
    Quote Originally Posted by Leif
    live and work for a SCI cure
    Yes, she could have been an effective advocate but since she threw in the towel, we'll never know. OTOH, I can't imagine that fact having had much of an impact on her outlook in those critical days post trauma no matter how effectively presented to her.

    Re. the title, I don't know for sure where Titan was coming from with his comment but it is misleading, leading the reader to expect news about an established quad athlete deciding to end her life.
    Last edited by Juke_spin; 08-30-2008 at 08:15 PM.
    "The world will not perish for want of wonders but for want of wonder."
    J.B.S.Haldane

  8. #58
    She was injured less then what within 4 days so, who is to say whether she would be "stuck" in that state, temp. yes, but they could not really say. How many were able to talk while on a vent. bty? We all know there is no crystal ball with SCI, the field may like to believe that at some points but there is not.
    However; it was not our call it was her's, she made her choose, I very staunchly disagree with that but hey, just like everyone else here, I have my OWN opinion that I know it right! I find it somewhat taking the easy route and unfair to those left here but hey that is her choice, not mine. It is not my place to judge.
    No offense she was "old" and being atheltic, what else could she have done.
    "I've got to keep breathing. Because tomorrow, the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"

  9. #59
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    last house on the left
    Posts
    9,791
    Quote Originally Posted by SCIFighter
    She was injured less then what within 4 days so, who is to say whether she would be "stuck" in that state, temp. yes, but they could not really say. How many were able to talk while on a vent. bty? We all know there is no crystal ball with SCI, the field may like to believe that at some points but there is not.
    However; it was not our call it was her's, she made her choose, I very staunchly disagree with that but hey, just like everyone else here, I have my OWN opinion that I know it right! I find it somewhat taking the easy route and unfair to those left here but hey that is her choice, not mine. It is not my place to judge.
    No offense she was "old" and being atheltic, what else could she have done.
    You write that she "old" and being atheltic, what else could she have done? I guess I imagine her enjoying sunsets, enjoying laughter and conversation with her family and those who she considered friends. I think about all the books she will never read now, the movies she will never see, the concerts, and the fun of dining out in a good restaurant. So, what else could she have done? LOTS.

  10. #60
    That is my point, she could still have done so much she just went the easy way, so soon, too who knows what time could have done, lots. It is a shame.
    To me, that kind of is a slap in the face at the many ####### of people who live this life day in day out for years, decades, that hurts to know how someone sees living this life as "oh I can't live like this", look at the people who do! Maybe that is right, those who take the can't live route, can't survive this life so maybe it also should show us WHO DO LIVE this DAY IN DAY OUT HOW STRONG WE TRULY ARE! Something to maybe ponder on, perhaps?
    "I've got to keep breathing. Because tomorrow, the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"

Similar Threads

  1. We have a work forum now...so let's hear about your work!
    By Andy in forum Work, School, & Money
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 04-10-2007, 09:32 PM
  2. 20th Anniversary
    By titanium4motion in forum Life
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 03-24-2007, 02:54 AM
  3. what is life?
    By adi chicago in forum Life
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: 11-01-2006, 02:23 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •