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Thread: Kate's On Line Journal

  1. #911
    Senior Member
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    WM--my husband, Bob, once threw a chair across the lobby of a bank because he was being thwarted at trying to complete his mom's banking for her so she could pay her bills, something he'd been doing with no problem for her for the previous year. And this man NEVER blows his cool! It was so exceptional that it was crazy-funny--he was wearing his mailman's uniform at the time, I think, as he'd stopped at the bank on a break. (Or was he...? It was a long time ago, but adds a nice twist to the story!)

    webbtj--you could try posting your question about pain meds on the Pain forum, and there are several other forums relating to social issues, (Life is one), and I think one of the forums would be a good place to ask about the resources in your area...either Care or the first one...can't remember the title. Aaarrrgghhh! But snoop around and you'll find such good info...

    I'm sorry to hear about your daughter's injury. People told us that the first year is the hardest, and we've found that to be true, though I must say we still occassionally have some challenging days or weeks! Our son missed out on some of the good stuff he might have gained at rehab, too, because he was still pretty sick and the brain injury (anoxic) was much less improved than it is now, a year after rehab. We try to incorporate a lot of what we saw there into his day-to-day routines now, but still need the occassional help from Visiting Nurses (WA State) to refresh our techniques.

    I don't know how Trisha might like to try this, or if she can yet, but Bob just had this idea yesterday, that we might watch some game shows together on t.v. (he doesn't watch t.v., but likes movies, so this may or may not go over) and see if he enjoys answering the questions. Does Trisha have long-term memory? If so, it can be used to trigger neurons to work and grow. Is she able to use the computer? (Jake can't yet, which is why my presence here is in place of his, more-or-less.)

    Good luck to you!

    Tana

  2. #912
    Happy New Year everyone!
    *It's been a while since I posted. The holiday stress were just all to big, I'm kind of glad the holiday is over, the regular old everyday routine seem all so calm..and boring, to much laundry, the big question of what are we going to do today and what are we going to eat for dinner..ect. We can not go and visit people, since we don't know anyone who has a house that we can get into. Shopping has become to boring and to expensive, the movie theatres here suck, if your in a chair you have to sit in the front, where your neck gets all bent and you have a sore neck for three weeks after going, we know all the museums. My husbands family live to far away, and they have not done anything to make their homes available for my husband, their son-their brother. Wouldn't you think as parents to an SCI you would make it possible for your own son to easily come and visit? I just don't get it?! Is a small ramp up the deck to much to ask? Since we can't come and visit them, why can't the come to us for the holidays? I just don't get it. Really it's just more like- they don't get it. They don't understand the hassle of what we will have to go through, and the fact that we would have to stay in a hotel. How fun is it to stay in a hotel..that says it's acceccible but really, just has a bar next to the raised toilet. At home we have an aid coming twice a day, away there will be no help, plus we'll have to deal with two kids 4 and 2 years old, excuse me I have to take care of them all, including C6 husband. I just don't get it, why can't anyone call us or visit us?! I don't know how many people we met that have said, we'll call you- we can do something fun, just hold on and we will call you... and then they never call you back. I'm so tired of this.

  3. #913
    must add, I use to post as Maja, but with the change of the web page I forgot my login, so hi everyone, i'm still haning in there, everyday has it's own struggle.

  4. #914
    sorry you're having a tough time ako.

    Good luck in '06. Maybe your husband will become more independent and you guys can do more.. I'm C6and live alone so it can be done. Many others with similar injuries and higher can attest as well.

    Families are families. Best to keep expectations to a minimum so you're not constantly disappointed.

  5. #915
    Senior Member WM's Avatar
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    OMG Tana! Do you know how many times I've wanted to do what your husband did? Seems like it would feel quite liberating! (That is if I didn't get arrested! ) It seems that my banking woes never end. I had to explain to a woman at the bank how to figure average monthly salary. She was really sweet and trying to be helpful, but she kept throwing this figure at me that I knew was wrong. I asked her where she got that number and she says, well, you are paid bi-weekly so I'm multiplying your bi-weekly amount times 2. I said, you can't do that, there are 26 bi-weekly payperiods in a year, so you have to multiply my bi-weekly gross times 26 and then divide it by twelve months to get my monthly average, which is blah, blah, blah. I could tell this went straight over her head. She just said, okay, well that's fine, we'll use your figure. In the greater scheme of things, it was not that big a deal because she did it correctly in the end and didn't mess up what I was trying to get done, but I'm sitting there thinking---For the love of God! You work at a BANK and you don't know how to figure a monthly average based on bi-weekly pay?????? I remind myself sometime of this guy I saw on a bar stool years ago--he was really wasted and had a lost a button from his shirt. He kept getting up to look for it saying---"It's the little things that get to me. I can handle the big things, but it's the little things like this that just GET to me!" I don't know if he ever found the button or not. He was still looking for it when my friend and I left!

    webbtj has Trisha ever tried Cymbalta for neuro pain? It's a mood drug, but when my relative with SCI started taking it (for mood), his doctor also mentioned that it helps with neuro pain. He does not have neuro pain, so I cannot tell you how well it helps with it, but just thought I'd mention it. It did make him really sick at his stomach for the first couple of weeks, but that passed.

    AKO I certainly understand about people "just not getting it". It seems my family is full of folks like that! Hang in there!

    Happy 2006 folks! I predict this will be "Our Year"!!
    "I just want you to know, it was the best time ever." J.F.F.

  6. #916
    Senior Member kate's Avatar
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    Nearly 5 years

    In a couple of months, it will be 5 years since Bruce decided to take our 10-year-old skiing on a Wednesday afternoon. She made it home that day, but he didn't. He came home 10 and a half weeks later, minus his health, his ability to use his right hand, control of his bodily functions, his ability to sit up (or do almost anything) unassisted, and his smile.

    Intact were his strength, his heart, his unbelievable brain, his crazed sense of humor, and us--his family.

    5 years! I can't believe it--I can't believe we all survived, and some part of me still can't believe it happened at all.

    This is what today was like:

    Bruce and I woke up at 4 am because his bladder control had failed him for the first time in many months--we were in a hotel bedroom, spending the final night of a long weekend with friends at the ocean. I vaguely heard him swearing, but he didn't want or need any help. He laid down a bunch of towels and went back to sleep, and so did I. These wretched, demoralizing scenes were fairly common for the first couple of years, but I've come to take for granted that he doesn't have to worry about them--wrong, I guess.

    He drove us all home (about 3 hours) without having to use the hand controls that are still in place in our old minivan--his left leg works almost normally, but his right is pretty useless for driving. I manned the Ipod and picked out music from his classic rock and roll playlist (Beatles Get Back, Elton John Tiny Dancer, Grateful Dead, Traffic, Dylan, Indigo Girls . . . )

    Yesterday he took the girls and a couple of their friends out to the jetty, where the wind was gusting at 50 mph, and got out to walk around the beach with his cane. He told me that at one point he realized it was like a 50/50 chance that he'd do some kind of face-plant . . . the wind and the uncertain footing and the noise from the surf actually made him dizzy. The kids climbed the rocks and stood in the spray and loved it.

    On New Years Eve, we were all up in the penthouse suite--about 30 old friends and their adolescent children. We ate salmon and steak and played Apples to Apples. Bruce won--he's a wizard at reading what sort of thing the "judge" will find compelling. I looked over at him at one point during that game and realized that I hadn't seen him so healthy and happy since before the injury.

    When they told me that he would never walk again, or feel anything below the level of his nipples, my first comment was that everything about him that mattered was still intact. I had to say it through clenched teeth, and I had not the slightest clue what we were up against--but I was right.

    Our oldest is going to college next fall. Our youngest is recovering from ACL surgery that knocked her out of sports for a full year. We have an exchange student from a former Soviet Republic. I have a full-time job, and so does Bruce . . . we're still ourselves in every way that matters.

    But I want the cure. I want it so bad I can't even stand it sometimes. Don't you? Don't you ever let yourself imagine that it might just happen, even now, however long it's been?

  7. #917
    Senior Member roshni's Avatar
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    Relatively new to Care Cure and am enjoying this site immensely. Just thinking that another year is indeed over and perhaps the grandest lesson I've learned is this: let go, let God. Just realizing that for all the plans we concoct, there is still a bigger picture that is is often not within our ken. This past year with the death of two close ones, I am realizing all this.

  8. #918
    Happy Belated Birthday WM!
    Tell me some more about the Irak-vet home page, do you know anyone?


  9. #919
    Moderator Obieone's Avatar
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    I'm so happy the Journal has become active again its comforting to read the banter ..... Happy New Year everyone !
    Yes Kate I want that cure just as badly .... I'm afraid in the name of self preservation I have shut down some of those overwhelming emotions that come with the thoughts of a cure but every now and then they surface and I'm a basket case for awhile ... then I recover and move on with our life which can be amazing as it is ! It's been almost 8 years since Bill's injury and some days it still feels like it just happened and then other times it feels like another life .. not mine ! But the kids grow and move on, we get older (and a little more feeble both in mind and body ) .... life is change ! I pray for the best of everything for us all and the strength to face whatever life throws at us !

    WM you crack me up with your bank stories ... come to the one I work at some day and we'll really mess with your mind ! Just getting through to our branch on the phone can be an event ... you know the drill ... " To speak to customer service press 6 now .... to recieve your current bank balance press 7 ... to actually speak to a human being " ... yada yada yada : !

    Oh and by the way I think breaking things to relieve stress can be very theraputic .... as long as nothing gets in the way and it didn't cost too much or is necessary to actually sustain life ...... from personal experience "primal scream therapy" works quite well too !

    Obieone

  10. #920
    Senior Member
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    With Christmas and New Years here and gone, I feel both relieved and sad. Nothing is the same in our lives anymore since Sean's accident (2 1/2 years), and sometimes I feel I am dealing with it well, and other times, I feel like I'm loosing my mind. I'm in the latter state right now. I guess the stress of all that leads up to Christmas has contributed, but I feel "worn out".

    I feel so bad for my husband, he has not recovered well from his accident, and most days he feels like crap. One UTI after another, pain, he has never really been able to become very independent. He tries to keep his spirits up, but it's difficult.

    I want a cure so bad too. I felt very positive that this would happen in the near future, but I'm afraid I'm becoming jaded. It seems that every time there is a glimmer of hope, and we get our hopes up ~ they are squashed, and back we go.

    Don't mind me friends, I'm on a bit of a downer right now. I feel so sad for everything we have lost. I know I should be counting my blessings, and there are lots of those too, but I don't want to right now ~ haa ~ just feel like wallowing for a little while. I'll get over it.

    Thanks for listening.

    Shelley

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