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Thread: Kate's On Line Journal

  1. #251
    Senior Member kate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    bellevue, wa, usa

    Thursday 10:40 pm

    I'm writing this to keep myself away from the tv news. Kids upstairs brushing their teeth, Bruce is at choir . . . I stayed home tonight. My voice was ragged from teaching all morning, then talking all afternoon with my ninth-grader. She didn't get on the cheer squad. She was close, but not this time. It's so funny--I was in high school at a time when being a cheerleader was, like, the social kiss of death. Cool for us was anything our parents disapproved of: short skirts, hair in our eyes, the Rolling Stones, pot--you know the list if you were there!

    For her, cool is what I would have disdained: school spirit, just-say-no, getting into college, restraint of all sorts, and, yes, cheerleading. So she was disappointed, and I was, too.

    It's cool here in the Pacific Northwest. Green and flowery, but cool. Our local economy sucks bigtime, because Boeing failed with 9/11, then the dotcoms all started collapsing . . . lots of people around here borrowed lots of money against stock options that are now worthless. Two years ago they were millionaires on paper--now they're in debt with no assets. Not us, but it's starting to feel kind of dicey.

    Martha, I've been thinking about you down on the Gulf . . . how's it going?

  2. #252
    Whew - Back from Charleston, Monday morning - got off the train to 6 inches of snow -yuck!

    Must have looked at 30 houses - lots of new housing, Charleston is booming. The new housing, while it looks spiffy, is so crammed together you might as well have built townhouses. After living on 2 acres, it was rather depressing. But-------the very last house we looked at, as soon as I walked in the door, I knew was it! Ranch, lots of hardwood floors, 3 bedrooms and a huge room over the garage that will probably be our bedroom - Matt will have the master downstairs. Bathroom mods, widening the bedroom door, and ramping the garage will be all we need to modify. Beautiful sunroom across the whole back of the house, which is heated and cooled! Pretty fenced lot for the doggies, and a gorgeous magnolia in the back yard. No pool on property, but the community is a 'private golfing community' that has 3 pools - wonder if they have a pool lift? Maybe they'll be getting one!

    Put in a bid, they accepted, and we close on June 16! Great timing, to allow us to get our house on the market, get the mods done, and move at the end of June. Woo-Hoo!!!!

    More later, gotta run.

    Tough times don't last - tough people do.

  3. #253
    Senior Member krajaxa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    New Castle, PA
    Congrats on your house, Jackie!

    Sounds like a dream house to me... Our downstairs stairglide was broke for two days, hubby had to litteray squeeze in the upstairs bathroom to do "his" stuff. The bad news doesn't come in singulars - our back up car is done for good and ready for scrapping! At least we still have one that runs. But that means hubby is stuck at home until I get back from work... or has to beg somebody for a ride... that bites

    Oh well, maybe something better will happen in near future...

  4. #254
    Spring is here!

    Walked to the mailbox this morning only to see wild violets sprouting up everywhere! How pretty everything is looking all of a sudden. I picked one of each wildflower I saw on my trek to show Brianna. She can't seem to shake this last UTI nor the depression. We're both reaching our wits' ends. I hate to see her in this funk....I can understand why she's down, completely!...I have to start nagging and doing the "Tough Love" thing to get her out of this, I think....damn....

    On a brighter note, I received a job offer yesterday, to be a consultant for a new library opening up near me. Very little money, but could be lots of fun...I'm seriously considering it.

    How's life everywhere else? Check in, you guys!


  5. #255
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Griffith, In
    Hi everyone. I feel like I haven't been on here for ages. Joe has been very depressed lately. The weather is getting nice and he wants to b e out with the kids or helping me with the yard. We always did a lot in the summer, hiking, camping, spending time at the beach. Guess those days are over for now. I'd just like him to go in the backyard with me without worrying the neighbors are going to see him. this stuff is tough and it really sucks! (Excuse my French). I thought my life was busy before, I really didn't have a clue then.

    Our anniversary is in two days. We'll have been married for 4 years. Last year at this time we were lying on the beach at Royal Hideaway in Playa del Carmen. (Christmas gift from the corporation I work for). It was wonderful. What I wouldn't give to be able to go back in time and be there again. We were so happy. I pray that some day we will be that happy again. He's so different now. Depressed, scared all the time, introverted. I love him more than I ever have, but I feel so lonely. He wasn't only my husband, but my best friend. We did everything together. When we weren't working we were inseparable. I miss him.........

  6. #256
    Senior Member KDK513's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Cincinnati, Ohio, USA
    Gosh Stacey, I wish I could help, but my situation is opposite... I feel as if I got my husband back. We are together again after living seperate lives for so many years all the while living under the same roof. I'm sure you will find your way through all this. Kathy

  7. #257
    Hi, Stacy, Nice to 'see' you again!

    A few questions - What on earth is wrong with the neighbors 'seeing' Joe in the yard? Dealing with the change in 'body image' is one of the things everyone in a chair has to face up to, and get over, to get on with life.

    Sounds like Joe is really having a tough time; if he's depressed, will he talk about his feelings with you? If you're close enough to his rehab hospital, they should have SCI psychologists on staff who can provide him with some counseling. If not, I'd suggest trying to find a counselor in the community he can talk with.

    Just checked your profile, and see that Joe was injured in Sept. 02; that's not even a year post injury. Time is a great healer (oh, what a cliche!), and you're both still in the 'acute' phase of learning to deal with the changed aspects of your lives. Joe is still healing, both physically and emotionally. As time goes on, he'll get stronger physically, and find that he's able to do more for himself, and have more energy and be more active.

    Do try and get some counseling, for Joe and for you, too. Please know that the mourning and sadness you're feeling is normal, and it's OKAY to have those feelings! And do stay in touch here, and know you have a collective shoulder to lean on. (((HUGS))) Jackie

    Tough times don't last - tough people do.

  8. #258
    HI, Vicky,

    What's up with Bri's UTI? Has she been checked for stones, urodynamics, etc.? Bladder stones can cause repeated infections; her urologist can do a cystogram to see if she has any. If she's doing IC's, they can be undetectable. Matt has a Foley, so we knew immediately because they clogged the cath and he got dysreflexic.

    Have you ever investigated whether there's a site or 'chat' for teens with SCI? Maybe if she had other kids in the same boat to talk with; Matt's a little older than Bri, but he's a real charmer with the wimmens ; I can talk with him and maybe he can email her? Let me know.

    Spring is here, too, and I also saw my first violet! And one of 'my' does was right outside my window yesterday, and she's soo preggers, I actually saw the fawn moving in her belly! Are you a gardener? I'm just itching to get my basil and parsley planted, but know I should wait a while; here in Jersey, Mother's day is the traditional 'no more frost' day, although I do tend to push it!

    We'll be listing our house here in two weeks, and close on the SC house mid-June, moving the end of June. Once we close, our contractor can get right in and start the modifications. I think we're going to ramp the garage, so we can just pull the van right in; Charleston is known for it's mid afternoon downpours, especially in summer, so we're thinking it's a good idea. Besides that, only the bathroom will need mods; all the doorways, etc. are wide enough for the chair to get through. Can't wait to move, but of course my stomach is in knots thinking of all the 'particulars'!!!

    Matt started his cognitive remediation program about 3 weeks ago, and already he's showing gains! Fingers are majorly crossed, hoping that this will give him the tools and confidence he needs to get on with his life!

    AND - ta-da - our aide sees her doc today, and hopefully he's going to okay her to start working again - tomorrow!!!! This has been tough, trying to manage all the house stuff, work a new job, and be Matt's full time mom/caregiver/chauffeur/cook/nurse/counselor!!!

    How's everyone else doing? Check in, y'all!!!!

    Tough times don't last - tough people do.

  9. #259
    Hi Jackie,

    Yes, Bri had a cystogram in late Feb., and everything looked fine. I think it's just a stubborn one. Her doc put her on five days of Cipro, and it came back after about 3 days. So he put her on a seven-day course this time. She just gets so wiped out, though. Plus, her back pain really increased with this infection, and that bums her out, of course.

    I think it would be great if Matt emailed her; let me double-check with her though, ok? If it's a go, I'll send you her email addy.

    I'm so jealous about "your" does! Mine have virtually disappeared with the nice weather. They better bring the babies back around, after I fed them apples all winter! The family down the road said that since they've lived here they've only seen three winters where the deer have eaten the bark off the trees.

    As to gardening, I'm not very knowledgable. The lady who lived here before us said she couldn't have flower beds because the deer ate everything! But I'm beginning to wonder if they haven't found better feeding grounds, and I could safely plant something...we'll see.

    You sound SO busy, with the move and all. I don't envy you packing, that's for sure! Keep us posted on your adventures...and I sure hope Matt's aide comes back soon!


  10. #260
    Vicky, Did the doc do a culture, or just a UA? As I know you know, the UA only shows that there are white cells indicating an infection,and is usually available almost immediately. A culture and sensitivity takes three days - first they have to 'culture' or grow the bug, and then test it to see which antibiotics it's sensitive to. If the doc just put her on Cipro after seeing the UA, perhaps it's not the right drug for the bug involved. And 5 days seems like a short time for an antibiotic; I think the usual is at least 7, and sometimes even 10 days.

    Let me know what Bri thinks! (I haven't mentioned it to Matt yet, will do when I hear from you!)

    If you want to try your green thumb in a deer area, build a 6-foot fence!!! And make sure it's got small enough holes that the bunnies don't get through, either! The local garden center will be able to help you out. If you want to plant flowers, they'll also tell you which are 'deer resistant'; there are actually quite a few they don't like. Daffodils and pansies, butterfly bushes are some that come to mind right away. The local gardeners will know for sure, tho!

    Anyone else doing some gardening?

    Tough times don't last - tough people do.

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