Kate's On Line Journal

[Care4me34]

Hi everyone. I originally thought I shouldnt leave a message on this particular thread(or whatever you call it) because Im not quite in the best of moods.

However, since Ive recently been writing and some may call it a journal. I call it a way to vent. I thought maybe Id take a chance. This is my first time on this site and I decided to join in hope of communication from people in a common situiation that could maybe relate, provide advice or possibly be supportive.

Im a 1st year caregiver of a mother who had a stroke, I have had another one of those crazy days of not feeling I can do anything right or just not able to ever do enough. I am an only child of a single parent and although my mother has many many siblings which has provided for a large family I still feel Im in this all alone. Today I spent most of the day w/my mom filling out paperwork for our new place, which is handicapp accesible. Getting her in and out of the car was an adventure in itself. Since coming home, Ive been busy w/cooking, cleaning, phone calls and the drained feeling I seem to carry alot. Believe it or not my mother has a gambling addition(yes even now) that I can't get her to stop. She continuously makes me feel guilty when I dont help her to get to these event or when I dont feel up to helping her when she comes home from these events. It surprises me that she can even do it, being that she is considered disabled, can barely use the right side of her body and cant wash, clothe or clean herself when using the restroom. I know its her way of feeling alive, I guess... But, where does this leave me, other than just adding extra stress and guilt on me. Sorry so long wended, but this is my first time. If Im in the wrong thread/forum please lead me in the right direction if you can and accept my apologies for wasting anyones time.

[Obieone]

Welcome Care4me34 ! No no your in the right thread. The Journal was started simply to share the every day goings on in our lives ... laugh ... cry and generally share a moment. If you have a very specific question than just start your own thread and you'll get responses related to just that situation. If you read back through this thread you'll see we cover alot of territory!

So ... you have alot going on there with your Mom ! Complicated family dynamics, a disability and an addiction to boot. Did you know senior women are among the fastest growing demographic as far as a gambling addiction goes .... I've done a bit of reading on some Addiction recovery web sites .... Google it and you'll see what I mean. I have a couple of family members teetering on the cusp of addiction myself ..... its very unsettling !

The guilt issue seems to go hand in hand with caring for someone within a family who is disabled regardless of whether it is a spouse, a child or a parent. If you let it .. it will rule your world and you must do everything in your pwer to prevent that. If you don't allow time for yourself and recharge those batteries you'll be no good to anyone. When you have something going on come here and let it out ..... use and abuse us at will. If you have something of a personal nature to deal with and wish to keep it more private ... go into your profile and join the Caregivers user group and then you'll be able to post in the Caregivers Forum in Members. Posting there keeps it out of the public domain !

I'm sorry that you had to but I am glad you found us ... you'll find lots of support and info here. Most of us are dealing with family with a sci but the issues are the same.

Obieone

[Care4me34]

Thank you so much for responding and for the information to go along. I appreciate you for giving me some insight as to how things work around here. I definately need and appreciate any insight given to me, especially during such a trying time.

I hope you will continue to be inspired to be there for others like me and I hope there will always be someone there for you! God bless!

[kap]

Who is hoarding it? I don't think I've had a turn and I need it badly. I've just barely made it through a weekend of two little girls with lice.

My head itches just thinking about it. I spent hours cleaning house, pulling nits and lice out of hair, doing laundry and now I sit here at work and itch like crazy. I know its all in my head. I've been through my hair time and time again and have found nothing. I even had most of it cut off yesterday just to make it easier to find those little buggers.

Must find that pipe to settle me down!!!!


Anyone have any horrible lice stories to make me feel better? Let me know I'm not the only crazy one here. Or maybe I am the only crazy.

errrrrwwwww, I itch like mad!

[Obieone]

Oh man .... do I remember lice !! When my kids were in elementary it seemed at the beginning of every school year we would get a note home warning parents to check their kids heads for lice because they had been discovered in the school !! It would drive me crazy thinking about it and I would go into a complete frenzy washing everything in hot hot water and picking in my kids hair like a mama monkey looking for the litter beggars!!

Somehow we survived it but it was one of the memories from my kids youth that I could have lived without (except maybe for the worms episode ) You have my sympathy Kap ... but try not to over stress about it this too shall pass I swear.... but I know what an unpleasant experience it is .... hang in there ..... and as soon as I find that dad-blasted pipe I'll fill 'er up, light 'er up and pass it on !!

Obieone

[pararich]

Sorry, I posted on the wrong thread!

This is for caregivers, right?

[Obieone]

No worries Para ..... I just moved your post over to Life! I'm really happy to see you back on the board !

Obie

[pararich]

Thanks Obie.

[martha]

After this week's tragic loss, and seeing Kate's link to "The Journal", I wanted to stop by and just quickly say hello. I did read some of those old posts and as always, I laughed and I cried and I once again thanked the Great Spirit for this site and for the wonderful people here who got me through those difficult times. I don't "see" you all like before, but you're always in my heart. I hope you're all doing well.
Hugs,
martha

[kate]

Hi Martha!

I remember writing here once that I have the strangest feeling that you and I have actually met . . . it seem impossible, especially now, that we never have.

What a gift those old posts are, eh? I still remember the little lift I got from his "every day I wake up is a good one" ~~ like, if he could maintain that spirit, what was my problem?

Christ, I hate this.