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Thread: Kate's On Line Journal

  1. #1001
    Senior Member kate's Avatar
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    Lordy

    Sometimes I still wake up and think all of this was a strange dream.

    Mother's Day is not my favorite day, because my father died on Mother's Day in 2001, about 10 days before Bruce finally came home from Harborview Medical Center--all broken and frail and ill, with no promise that he would ever be himself again.

    I had to leave my girls alone that weekend with the kind people who had come to help us get the house ready for a wheelchair. I had to fly alone to upper Michigan for the funeral. It was like a 36 hour trip, total--my father in a coffin, my exhausted mom, my strange siblings . . . and then back on the plane and it was time for the home "practice run" the very next day. Another nightmare, in which we spent the small hours of the night struggling to get his spasming legs to calm down so we could sleep.

    Ah, God, I'm so glad that is all behind us. I remember reading a post from Wise one time where he said that a T injury steals a couple of years, and a C injury steals 5. We are 5 years out now, and I'm beginning to know in a gut-level way what he meant. We have jobs again, and income, and a measure of health and independence. Our girls are no longer looking as if they think the ground might swallow them at any moment. They are, as a matter of fact, kind of wonderful and very strong.

    I worry about him aging with sci. I worry about falls, and broken bones, and what if I get sick myself. I worry about an earthquake, since we live right on top of a fault line. I do all this worrying, lol, on some kind of just below the surface level, but it's definitely there.

    Jesus, I want the cure so much. I want to see him run again, and all the rest of it, before we are both so old that it doesn't matter.

    --------------

    Cheese, darlin', did you find out which school you were at yet? Wouldn't it be strange, people, if she and I actually both went to Lowell Elementary in the mid-sixties together? She would have been the first-grader, me the big kid, passing each other in the halls. I hope it's true, sista!

  2. #1002
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    Wink

    Hey! I went to Lowell Elementary School!!! It was in Madison, Wisconsin though, and in the dark ages. The one thing that I remember is that I was the smallest kid in our class and got to "do" the bulletin spaces. We had moved from down South, Charleston in fact, and spoke with military correctness, lots of yes sirs, ma'ams and such. Well the other kids thought I was brown nosing and beat the hell out me after school. Funny remembrances. Then we moved out to the country and got to go to the stereotypical country school--which was much more fun.

    Worry, Kate, I hear you. If there was nothing to worry about, I bet I would worry about that! I constantly worry about Jim, if I should have something happen to me. We are the only ones left in our family, with most friends falling in the wayside after the accident. Sometimes I lay in bed at night and wonder which is the worst, SCI or Insulin dependent diabetic or TBI. My poor kitty must get tired of the constant flopping around. It's funny, the physical problems seem so much less to me than the future.

    We are finishing the renovation of our new home and will be in the Parade of Homes June 4th--we will be the remodeled accessible home. It has been a joy to get tools back in hand again, I seem to like the process more than the results, must be the reward of your own labor. Can you imagine the excitement of Jim's first shower at home in over 5 years? I actually thought of getting some Champagne, or at least beer to celebrate! Our routines are much easier now and will get better with Phase Two! I am going to contact the local ILC and OT Department at the hospital to see if they are interested in seeing, for examples to newly injured. Remember how just having them live seemed to be all the focus you could maintain?

    I'm sorry I didn't get to meet you and Bruce, reconnect with Cheese and most of all add our voice to the Rally. I do clearly remember the goosebumps of the Rally of '05. Next time, eh?

    Deb

  3. #1003
    OK, Kate~ Mom hits 70 this 70 this year but this is the best I can get. We lived on 40th Avenue in Deluth in a big white house. She is looking for my kindergarten report card to see if the school was Lowell Elem. BTW, I never made it to 1st grade there, was Dad shipped out to Anchorage Alaska. Cool Lil'Sis that you were a military kid too. Yes sir, yes, mame still runs through my blood.
    Cheese~
    Every day I wake up is a good one

  4. #1004
    Kate, it was wonderful to meet you, Bruce and your daughters. You are clearly a gentle and caring soul. Btw, next year, ahem, that book thing we discussed...

    cheesecake - as always a pleasure. Keep up the fight, you are inspirational whether you know it or not. I'm proud to be a friend.

    lilsis - missed you and Jim this year... Hope you guys are well.

    Peace all, onward and upward.

  5. #1005
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    Thanks again Chris. You know why. I am passing the favor along to another CC'er here shortly when I get a big contract payment soon. My business is feast or famine and I was in famine then (still am until the mailman brings my check!!).
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

  6. #1006
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    Talking

    Well, last year I went out with a bunch of high school chums and reported back on how much fun I had, so I thought I'd report in again. A neighbor here invited me to join their book club and I took the plunge since I read about 4 books a week anyway and figured it's a good way to connect with people. It's about 15 women, ages 30 to 65, varied occupations and marital status. It was really nice to get out, solo!, and meet, eat and have intellectual discorse. And get this, the name of the book club is The Naked Virgins, or eNVee for short! Evidently that cherry CAN grow back! It was a special monthly meeting since it was the summer solstice, with everyone bringing food and there was a ton of wine! What fun! The selection that was discussed was Tobacco Road, annually they pick a classic and for such a short, depressing little book it generated alot of discussion. When asked to tell about myself I said I was an advocate instead of caregiver, I've decided that is my title now! And Jim did fine by himself, isn't that cool? Maybe I should go out more than once a year! And what a great way to eat good food that others make, always nice to taste test before you write down a recipe. I took Chicken Florentine (and vegetarian version) and stuffed myself with Chocolate covered strawberries that went well with the Pinot Grigio, yum. I had started a vegetarian soup cookbook before Jim was injured and am now thinking of getting back to finishing it. Anywho, it was a fun time and was a good reminder that I need to get out more. Course it might get a little chilly being a Naked Virgin once a month in the winter months here in Wisconsin but hell I'm going for it! Deb

  7. #1007
    Senior Member roshni's Avatar
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    I had coffee with a friend from college I hadn't seen in 10 years. She was so in love with her work as a social worker that she was positively glowing. That's when I thought: it is one of the biggest blessings to actually enjoy (let alone love) your job.

  8. #1008
    Another nightmare, in which we spent the small hours of the night struggling to get his spasming legs to calm down so we could sleep.
    Wow, I remember being tied down in bed to keep me from thrashing about.

    Those early days were king of scary though, a step into the unknown.

    Great thread by the way!

    Simon.

  9. #1009
    Senior Member kate's Avatar
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    Such a long time since we started this thread

    Our older daughter is leaving for college in a few months. On Thursday night, she and Bruce went to a fundraiser for stem cell research here in Washington. Because of the last 5 years, she's knowledgable and speaks with authority and common sense on the subject of esc. She understood the presentations, felt at home with the crowd, and even. lol, was able to explain to a woman at her table exactly how Parkinson's works, and why esc research might be helpful in curing it.

    This is the girl, who, when the first post of this thread went up, needed me to help her do her 9th-grade algebra. She's going to be a biology major--at this point the plan is to become a PT. I have to remind myself all the time to keep quiet about how proud I am of that choice, because I don't actually care if she changes her mind for some reason . . . the thing today is that she believes she can do 8 more years of school, she believes the work would be worth doing, and she wants to work with injured people.

    That's a lot for someone who is 18--far, far beyond the things I was thinking about at that age. She amazes me.

    At the moment she's up in the living room with her sister watching a world cup game. They're both still in their pajamas--I ought to make them get busy with some project or other, but I can't bring myself to mess with Emily too much. It's her last summer to be just a kid in the house she grew up in.

  10. #1010
    Ah, Kate, so much time has gone by! Lovely post...enjoy this "last" summer with her.

    I was going through my divorce when we started. Seems light years away, a time I can barely remember and dislike revisiting.

    Thank God for the Dixie Chicks!!!
    ____________________________
    "God warns us not to love any earthly thing above Himself, and yet He sets in a mother's heart such a fierce passion for her babes that I do not comprehend how He can test us so."
    ~Geraldine Brooks, "Year of Wonders"


    "Be kind...for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle."
    ~Philo of Alexandria

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