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Thread: one year coming fast

  1. #1
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    one year coming fast

    My son Kyle was injured almost 1yr ago. On sept 1,2007, Kyle was down the beach with friends and dove off a pier. He suffered a spinal cord injury,level c5/c6. Since the accident I have always tried to focus on the positive and have a determined and mostly positive attitude. But as the 1yr mark gets closer I get more depressed and angry. I want to scream my head off. I absolutely HATE this. I want my son to get up and walk, I want him to be able to use his fingers so he can finish highschool without so many contraptions, I want him to be able to have some privacy when he needs to use the bathroom and I want him to be able to just hang with his friends and not have to worry about all this other shit!!!!!!!!!!!
    I shouldn't feel this way I'm sure but arggghhhhhh.

    thanks for letting me vent
    Dawn

    ps I hope I don't offend anyone

  2. #2
    Moderator Obieone's Avatar
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    You are in exactly the right place to do exactly what you just did .... so don't apologize!

    It's been 10 years and its my spouse and I still have the same feelings you describe even now. If you didn't feel like screaming I'd be strongly suggesting getting help immediately ...... of course you're angry ..... and even more so when it's a child I think. There is no doubt I would want to trade places with mine if it happened to me ... a thought I'm sure you've entertained ..... it's our child !!

    I've always maintained we need to allow ourselves to just feel it ...... for awhile ..... the trick is not to get stuck there and that can be very difficult for some. If you find that happening its time for some help. But its perfectly normal and a healthy thing to come here and get .... whatever ..... off your chest and share the pain with us ...... for as long as it takes ....

    At the risk of sounding trite I'm going to say ..... it will get a little better and a little better every day .... and then .... there will be a bad day and we start again .... somehow we carry on .... there is nothing else to do ..... just know you are not alone in the struggle !

    Obieone
    ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


    " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
    Jane Siberry

  3. #3
    Senior Member fishin'guy's Avatar
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    I agree with you Obi. As bad as this can be we must take it one day at a time. Wether the injured, parent,caregiver, it's the sh-ts. As a parent I can't imagine this happening to one of my kids, and I'd wish to take it from them and put it on me.
    I thank God can do my own bathroom privileges, so consider myself fortunate. booklovr, it comes in slow painstakingly small steps, my heart wrenches everytime I see posted here how many young people have to face this life, it's just not fair, I have a huge heart when it comes to any kids misfortunes or mistreatment. My heart goes out to you, God bless.

  4. #4
    I understand where you are at....

    On the one year anniversary of my son's injury I could not look at him with out breaking down and crying. I tried to hide it from him and the rest of our family as best I could. This was/is just not the life I want for my son.

    On the other hand, my son handled the day much better than his parents! Some of his friends planned a little "you survived" party for him.

    We passed the second anniversary a couple of months ago and it was much easier. Just a lot of "wow - it's been two years" comments. We looked back over the past two years and could appreciate how far he has come.

    As a parent, I think there will always be some sadness for what our children have lost.

    Two and half years post, I am still checking his back pockets before I throw them in the washer. Each time I catch my self doing it feels like a little stab in the heart.....

  5. #5
    I think health problems are always harder on the loved ones of the one who's injured/ill than it is for the one who's hurt/sick. I've seen this in my own family. I bet your fears about what your son is experiencing are worse than the reality of the matter for him. He'll learn new ways of enjoying life...a year is still very early. The future may still hold great things for him!

  6. #6
    Senior Member Evonne's Avatar
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    i too am comin up on my 1 yr anniversary. i would be lying if i said it has all been easy.........most, if not all, has completely sucked!!! my parents moved from their home in TX to care for me for the 1st 9 months.............i could not have got thru it w/out both of them. nothing can compare to a parents love. continue to support him as u have done to this point. dont feel like u always have to be strong, there were plenty of times when my mother and i would just hold eachother and cry.....we both just needed it. this SCI deal is not fair at all and it's hard to look at it any other way. i got tired of hearing everyone tell me........."something good will come out of it" or "God would'nt send u anything he did not think u couldnt handle" or "take it 1 day at a time" etc etc so i'm just goin to say i feel your pain and wish i could make it better 4 u. i will say a prayer 4 u and yr son tonight. God Bless

    Evonne
    I have a spinal cord injury...a spinal cord injury DOES NOT have me!

    walking quad-Central Cord Syndrome

  7. #7
    Your post hit me hard...right between the eyes. I, too, know what you're feeling and what you said about wanting to scream and the unfairness of it all is so very true. And, I have screamed my head off...driving in the car where I'm alone. I'm sick of all the professionals telling us to accept this life.
    My son is now 14 and almost 14 months ago had his mountain biking accident. He's a C4-C5. It's been a life of hell. After all the months in hospital and rehab and finally at home, watching the seasons go by, NOW, it's in our face. Everytime one of his friends rides their bike past the house and waves. Everytime we see a camper on the highway, what we miss doing a a family. Everytime his older brother goes motorcross riding, which he loved more than anything, my heart breaks for him. Not wanting to go with his friends for a bite to eat 'cause it's too hard to eat unless someone feeds him. It goes on and on, reminders nonstop of what life was like and it hurts like hell for all of us.
    This morning he's at his new high school for orientation day starting grade 9. He was so excited to go and see all his friends as he was so bored all summer just going to physio or to the movies. I'm like a mom with a child starting kindergarten waiting for the phone call...come and get me.
    Yes, this life is a rollarcoaster. One good day, one bad.
    But, my husband and I try our best to stay as positive as can be. He will get better, we know that. When people ask me if he'll ever walk again, my response is yes, he will....don't know if it's in 2 yrs or 20 but in this lifetime he will walk again! One has to do things outside the box.
    My thoughts are with you.

  8. #8
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    thanks everyone for the support. And timbits mom, I am with you about the school. Kyle just started senior year 2 days ago. I was soooo worried about
    how that was gonna go. He seemed extremely nervous, embarrassed because he didn't want to ride the "handicap bus" in front of his friends, didn't want to try and eat and get his food in the caf. Luckily his sister is a freshman this year and she ended up with the same lunch as him so she helps him out and thinks its cool. Now he's just praying he doesnt have any accidents while there.

  9. #9
    I am less then a month away from my 15 year anniversary. I need to vent too and this seems to be the place for a good grip. I truly understand what you are going through I was in a car accident and my first outing was to the girls state volley ball championships in the gimp section. I was more then mad I was sure everyone was looking at me and the idea of being made special and knowing they were talking behind my back was unbearable.

    I do not understand why we don’t get better metal health help. It seems the medical community can only work with the broken body and not the wounded mind. Please for his sake treat him as much an AB as possible. He feels you pain too so if you do need to cry let him cry with you. Then and only then will his life start to have some sort of normality, not like it was but like it is. I wish I would have found this site years ago it helps me to know I am not alone.
    T6 complete

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