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Thread: Para BIL getting ready to move in my house. Help!!

  1. #21
    I missed that he is a veteran. He should have gone to a VA SCI Center for rehab from the very beginning. You should be trying now to get him MOVED to a VA SCI Center BEFORE he is discharged from the rehab unit. He can get a real rehab program there, not come home until he is truely independent, and they will be sure he gets the equipment he needs too.

    You can find a link to the PVA National Service Officer nearest you here.

    http://www.pva.org/site/PageServer?p...=memb_chapters

    Call them NOW and tell them you need help to get him into his designated VA SCI rehab program. If he had an honorable discharge, he is eligible. He will need a copy of his DD214 and the 10-10EZ application on this page (very simple). Generally eligibility can be determined in 24 hours. The PVA NSO can help to push this through and contact the appropriate VA SCI unit for him. I can help if I know where you are located.

    (KLD)

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by SCI-Nurse
    I missed that he is a veteran. He should have gone to a VA SCI Center for rehab from the very beginning. You should be trying now to get him MOVED to a VA SCI Center BEFORE he is discharged from the rehab unit. He can get a real rehab program there, not come home until he is truely independent, and they will be sure he gets the equipment he needs too.

    You can find a link to the PVA National Service Officer nearest you here.

    http://www.pva.org/site/PageServer?p...=memb_chapters

    Call them NOW and tell them you need help to get him into his designated VA SCI rehab program. If he had an honorable discharge, he is eligible. He will need a copy of his DD214 and the 10-10EZ application on this page (very simple). Generally eligibility can be determined in 24 hours. The PVA NSO can help to push this through and contact the appropriate VA SCI unit for him. I can help if I know where you are located.

    (KLD)
    KLD,
    I want you to know that us Veterans appreciate you for being there for us. Yes, I agree since he is a Veteran that he should be transferred to the appropritate SCI Center before he is discharged from the Health South rehab. Like you say he will be given the equipment he needs by the VA before he goes home. I believe his SIL said they are in Illinois. What part of the state I don't remember. In Illinois I'm not sure if the SCI unit is at the Hines, Ill VA or maybe in one of the Chicago VA's as I believe there are several VA's in Chicago.

  3. #23
    I talked with DH about the veterans hospital and he said he didn't think he would go there b/c the closest one was 4 hours away. (Nashville I think) we are 6 hours from Chicago. I know they would have the best care but I seriously doubt we could talk BIL into going 4 hours away for rehab. He is currently only 1 hour away. I know its very important to get the best care but I would feel weird trying to push this on him. His family would probably think I was crazy and I doubt he would do it anyway.

    We are currently trying to get in contact with the PVA to get help with the lift but having a hard time getting hold of the right person.

    Thanks for all the input

  4. #24
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    abcboys,
    While it is natural for your BIL to want to be as close to home as possible, there are no words to express how important it is for his future that he get the rehab he needs NOW. I am not a vet (damn) but I do know the VA does great rehab at their designated SCI sites. To be honest, it's worth going just for the equipment they will order for him, all of which is expensive as hell, and very difficult for we civilians to pay for.

  5. #25
    I feel like I've said this before but...if he has good rehab available to him, coming to your house SHOULD NOT BE AN OPTION.

    You're ill-prepared. He's clueless. He thinks he can't be left alone. He has had no decent training. If he has a bowel accident while your husband is at work, he can't be left in it until evening.

    None of us wanted to go away from home for rehab. We survived it though.

    He is so lucky this is an option for him. If you care about him, make him use it. Rehab is one of the things that sets the stage for the rest of his life.

    The VA will put him in the right wheelchair. ($2-5,000) Probably train him to drive. (At least $2000 in most states, plus another thousand for hand controls). Teach him so very much. Work him out, get him strong again (thousands of dollars in physical therapy. Even with insurance it adds up). He won't come home from the VA a baby. It is too soon for him to come to your house imo. Can he get in your bathroom door? Does he need/ have a commode chair? Shower bench? Can he get in and out of your kid's room he'll be staying in? Get in and out the door of your house?

    This is your chance to prepare. Not doing it is insane. It is gonna be damn tough to magoo this.

    I might be mean, but if he were my brother, my husband or my son, I wouldn't let him come home unprepared, given his options. It is cruel, throwing him in the pool that way. It's tougher than ppl realize, even for T12.

    We know what we're talking about. If he comes home, let us know on Monday or Wednesday next week how you're doing. I predict full-on meltdown. I hope I'm wrong but I know I'm not. If you guys had done nothing but prepare these past 4 weeks, it would have been tough. With no prep it will be horrendous. You better call that other brother stat.
    Last edited by betheny; 08-19-2008 at 07:23 PM.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by abcboys
    I talked with DH about the veterans hospital and he said he didn't think he would go there b/c the closest one was 4 hours away. (Nashville I think) we are 6 hours from Chicago. I know they would have the best care but I seriously doubt we could talk BIL into going 4 hours away for rehab. He is currently only 1 hour away. I know its very important to get the best care but I would feel weird trying to push this on him. His family would probably think I was crazy and I doubt he would do it anyway.

    We are currently trying to get in contact with the PVA to get help with the lift but having a hard time getting hold of the right person.

    Thanks for all the input
    Distance should not matter in this case. What matters is he should think about that it's for his good & the rehab can affect the rest of his life if he doesn't get enough. As far as I know the VA won't boot him out until he's ready to go home unlike rehab when insurace is involved. Most only allow you to stay just so long then they stop paying and send you home on your way & a lot times not rehabilitated enough.

  7. #27
    I'm literally sitting here having flashbacks about going home. I'd forgotten a lot...like how I couldn't get in my kitchen. (Of course, I was a quad, too weak to push across the carpet at first.) I'm panicking for this guy. Please tell him a woman in Oklahoma is extremely concerned, and that this isn't a cakewalk.

    Once you're SCI, you have to prepare.

  8. #28
    Don't be worried! You won't have to be there all the time at all. He'll be able to wheel himself, cathe himself (if needed), and even sit on a shower bench and shower himself.

    If he has access to a bathroom, why would he need help using the bathroom? Even I sit on my shower bench, shit in my glove and throw it in the toilet. It's not fun at first, but you get used to handling your shit. I've never adapted to going back on the toilet because my ass falls in the toilet and my balance is terrible as well, plus I don't need hemorrhoids the size of golf balls.


  9. #29
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    I really hope he decides to continue with rehab at the va. Saying he isn;t going to do it because it is too far away, he will just settle for the way he is now, is akin to deciding you aren't going to put a cast on a broken leg because the hospital is too far away, you will just leave it the way it is. Only multiply that by 1000.

    Yes, if he comes home now it will work, eventually. But he may never reach the point he will be able to with the proper rehab, and it will be much harder than it needs to be.

    At t12, he will be able to be 100% independent down the road. I am t7-8 and when I came home, I only needed help getting in and put of the shower, and some dressing changes. As long as I could reach it, I was ok. But I had 2 1/2 months of rehab. My husband had over a month to actively prepare for my coming home. Home mods, equipment I needed. He worked with the PTs so that he could help properly (transfers mostly). The Hospital set me up with the home care I needed ..... visiting nurse for some wounds that weren;t healed yet, and PT and OT until I started outpatient rehab. They made sure the equipment was ordered and supplies were ordered and would be there when I came home. (Catheters, and such.) Has the hospital that is sending him home addressed any of this?

    He needs to take this opportunity! I think you and your husband sould present this as a no choice situation. You can come home to us AFTER you go to rehab. If the care is available he should use it. The time he spends there will more than make up for itself.

    My rehab was 2+ hours away from home. I have 4 kids. They managed without mom. They visited, and we spent a lot of time on the phone.
    Last edited by sjean423; 08-19-2008 at 08:54 PM.
    T7-8 since Feb 2005

  10. #30
    There are only 22 VA SCI Centers. The designated one for IL is at Hines (outside of Chicago).

    Yes, you do have to travel. I am in San Diego. We currently have a number of SCI veterans who are inpatients here from both our designated catchment area (Nevada, Arizona and Southern California) but also some from the Midwest who come here because they know they get the best care here. You will see others on these forums who have good insurance or private means who have worked hard to travel to the best SCI rehab programs, many times out of state, such as Craig or Shephard. There is a reason for this. Lots of small rehab centers have little experience or expertise in SCI. It sounds like that is the case for the place he is now.

    Not going to a VA SCI Center is an unwise decision. It is offered up here as a solution, but clearly none of you really want a solution...you only want to complain. So be it. Don't say it was not offered though.

    (KLD)

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