Look at the entire seven days in the week. Break each day down into the necessary tasks. Determine who can do what and is any outside assistance available. For his own sake he needs to be as independent a husband as he is physically capable of being. If you can, attempt to objectively assess what he truly can and cannot do. He must do the things that he can. If not, he won't have you at all. What will he do then. As a low para, I am pretty much independent. However, several years ago my wife had foot surgery that didn't go well. We were both in chairs. What an eye opener. The phone would ring and we would look at each other. The roles were reversed and I became her caregiver. I can honestly say that I didn't enjoy it. Yet I was pleased, when I could ease some of her burden. Disability does not change the need for an equal partership in marriage; emotional, financial, physical, and spiritual.