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Thread: Anyone do their own grocery shopping?

  1. #41
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    Imight, I don't think you will get nearly the attention that you fear. I usually have to hang around an aisle long enough for someone standing to ask them if they could grab something off the top shelf for me. Everyone seems happy to do it, and short people love it when I refer to them as tall (relative to me, at least) so that usually gets some smiles.

  2. #42
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    I would say I am only asked about once per trip if I need help ... usually have to ask for it if I do need something reached. I just smile and say no thanks. (I don;t want to discourage them from asking ... another time I might need it. LOL)
    T7-8 since Feb 2005

  3. #43
    Senior Member Imight's Avatar
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    wow. thats weird. Im asked if I need help every single time I leave my door. Perhaps its because Im at eyes level? but even in my chair, I always get stares and help. Just yesterday I went to the mall to look for the Iphone, I rolled up to the mall door, which has a button for people in chairs which opens the door automatic, its quite obvious because theres a huge handicap sticker on the door, right when I pushed the button, I almost hit some lady that was going to open the door for me (she was on the other side, but the door was tinted) lol felt kinda bad.

    On my way out, same thing, I had a bag on my lap, got up to my car, threw the bag in, started to breaking down my chair, some lady came by and asked for help, this same thing happened earlier in the day AT THERAPY of all places. These sort of things happen every single day without fail. I havent gone out yet (still morning) but Im certain its going to happen again today. All I have to do is give eye contact, then bam, here they come. If I avoid eye contact, they usually just pause (I can see them from the corner of my eye) and depending what kind of vibe I give, they'll either wait, but by then, Ive already done what Ive had to do, if theres an ounce of struggle, here they come. *sigh.

    Maybe you guys dont draw attention, but I do. It sucks. =P
    Last edited by Imight; 07-24-2008 at 02:22 PM.

  4. #44
    I think that physically, grocery shopping for you will be no problem, so it is less about how to manage that aspect of shopping, than it is dealing with people and just the disability in general, esp. in public.

    You're gonna get stares. You can't avoid that completely. I get people offering to help all the time. Just sitting and waiting, doing absolutely nothing, people stop wondering if I need help. Since you can't really control others' actions completely, you just can't think so much about it or concern yourself with what others are thinking about - maybe they think you need help, maybe they think you're panhandling when you're just sittin waiting for a friend or a ride, maybe they think you're cute and are thinking 'what a shame', maybe they think your hot abd wanna ask you out, and maybe they're wondering if you can still have sex.... maybe, maybe, maybe... hey, maybe you've got a nasty booger hanging off your nose...

    you can drive yourself crazy with all the maybe's and what if's...

    Try not to think so much about it. Just do our thing. In time, you won't be as (self) conscious about the stares.
    Last edited by chick; 07-24-2008 at 02:45 PM.

  5. #45
    Quote Originally Posted by Imight
    Maybe you guys dont draw attention, but I do. It sucks. =P
    There's a million worse things about SCI. If people stopped looking at you that hot waitress you banged might have served your order and passed on by.

    Your next conquest might be the babe that holds the door open for you.
    C5/6 incomplete

    "I assume you all have guns and crack....."

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Imight
    Maybe you guys dont draw attention, but I do. It sucks. =P
    It sux but the time will come in the not-so-distant-future when it will so run off you like H2O off a duck's back that you'll hardly even notice. That's my experience at any rate. I'm sure it's because I give off a "don't fuck with me; I know what I'm about" vibe for the most part. When I want/need help I look around for the store staff or the sort of shopper that seems receptive. They're not hard to find and it's only when I'm pressed for time to get all the shopping I want done that not turning up someone quickly annoys me.
    "The world will not perish for want of wonders but for want of wonder."
    J.B.S.Haldane

  7. #47
    Well,

    Because I use my power wheelchair as my convertible, I do not need assistance bringing the bags to car.

    With regards to shopping, the basket does not work for me as my arms are too weak, I am too clumsy, and keep dropping the basket as soon as it has stuff in it. I prefer stacking the stuff on my lap, and if I have a long list, I will simply request help from the store, and let them do the shopping cart driving. I too am spoiled by Publix and Winn-Dixie.

    Another thing I do, is cross one leg over the other. This way I can put stuff on 1 foot rest (milk, etc). Also, when it is not too hot, I bring my dog with me, then I just throw whatever I need on the floor, and ask her to pick it up, and give it to me.

    As for people offering help, what I have learned from them is: those who want to help you, often do it because they can relate to your situation, most of the time they have a relative/friend/whoever with a disability. Or they simply admire you because in spite of everything, you are still moving on and doing what has to be done. People who mean any kind of harm, physical or mental, will not offer to help you, they will rather block the way, be rude, or avoid you completely.

    Also, whenever you feel a thousand eyes watching you, stop, read any food label to distract yourself and change your frame of mind. Then go back to whatever you were doing. Ignore the world and the world will ignore you.

    Last but not least, I have discovered that when I have my dog with me, I no longer exist. If I ask her to pick something up for me, a person might jump to help HER. They will pick up the stuff, hand it to me, praise & pet her, and then walk away…

    Please note, I am not trying to justify people for offering to help. I simply do not believe it to be always harmful. I also believe that if we were ever to unite and do something with regards to public awareness, fund raising, etc. these people would be the easiest ones to get involved, as they already acknowledge us as normal human beings, rather than a terrible infectious contagious disease. Lets give them a break, as they can actually become handy at times.
    Thoughts become things, choose the good ones!

  8. #48
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    You haven't been hurt long (LOL coming from an "old hand" of 3 years) but maybe you are feeling more conspicuous than you are? I also don;t tend to make eye contact with everyone, just roll on, smile if I do make contact, but don;t slow down or anything. It may circumvent the offers. I suspect you look more like you need help walking .... your hands are full for starters. Just go for it. You have done so well so far ..... it;s just one more thing.

    LOL .... my first thought .... hmmmm, young guy gets "do you need help" older woman doesn't =
    Quote Originally Posted by chick
    maybe they think your hot abd wanna ask you out.
    T7-8 since Feb 2005

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