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Thread: What happened to YOU?

  1. #61
    Quote Originally Posted by Ashley
    my favorite in the "I know how you feel" category is when they broke their leg and were in a wheelchair for 1 month. If they only really knew how much more there is to it! I understand that they're just trying to sympathize but i still find it comical I want to say, "Really? you stick your finger up your butt to poop?? ME TOO!"
    ditto. i'm constantly getting the "i know how you feel....i once broke my leg....i have a friend of a friend who.....i have a cousin who......" etc. i just nod and murmur, uh huh. makes em feel good.

    the point here is why are we fair game for these rude questions? it's not about what ab's have been through. WHY is it ok to ask a person in a chair personal questions? WHY? and i'm not talking children. i'm talking adults.

    as far as being unwilling emissaries, try that with the next person of color you run across....ummm, hey what's it like to be the only person of color (substitute gender, religion, whatever) in the room? oh yeah, i know how you feel....my sister's husband twice removed, ha ha, was....).

    yeah, it's annoying as hell. i've been prayed over, screamed at to walk, had ppl run to a door i already have open and cause a big scene when i fall....i actually appreciated it when a guy let the restaurant door slam in my face the other night. at least i felt i was being treated equally
    Last edited by cass; 07-24-2008 at 01:44 AM.

  2. #62
    Quote Originally Posted by cass
    i'm constantly getting the "i know how you feel....i once broke my leg....i have a friend of a friend who.....i have a cousin who......" etc. i just nod and murmur, uh huh. makes em feel good.
    I just don't get being pissed off at people who are only trying to sympathize. It's a helluva lot better than having someone take a quick look at my situation and proclaim that they can't imagine how I do it, that they would kill themselves in my situation.

    the point here is why are we fair game for these rude questions?
    I think the point is that some people look for things to be pissed off about.

    WHY is it ok to ask a person in a chair personal questions?
    So you would never ever ask someone about a cast on their arm or about their crutches or a dent in their car? What about before you were disabled?

    C.

  3. #63
    I would not ask a stranger about a cast on their arm., or a dent in their car. I was taught to not ask personal questions of strangers.

    The same randoms that ask the questions at Wal-Mart don't start off talking about the weather or the price of milk, or where you got your shoes or who cut your hair, or any of those things that strangers DO talk about. They aren't interested in talking to you. They are interested in satisfying their curiosity about you.

    It doesn't infuriate me, but I don't like it much. Maybe I should just ask the next one how much her wedding ring cost, or if she went to church on Sunday, or if she likes her mother.

    Kids are absolutely an exception. Kids are curious about everything.

    This is a common complaint among pregnant women also. They have an obvious condition, and somehow they become public property.

  4. #64
    well, frankly, tiger no i wouldn't ask about a cast. i'm thinking more...like i would stop a complete stranger with a cast and ask, hey, what happened to you? why? i wouldn't even think of such a thing.

    a dent in their car?? uh, hey, i noticed a dent in your car, complete stranger...how'd it happen? WHY would i do that? unless i noticed a similar one in mine next to stranger's....

    and before i was dis i worked with and lived with dis. my mom was a social worker. i worked summers with the MR. we were kicked out of restaurants because the ppl i had with me were "making ppl sick." i did the rec prog in summers. i was called "bitch" at the iowa state fair several times by workers there as i had to keep the MR ppl from falling for the tricks fair ppl do. what about you? and yes, drove a bus with w/c lift before ADA. that was a lotta fun, too.

    btw, i don't care for sympathy.
    Last edited by cass; 07-24-2008 at 03:07 AM.

  5. #65
    Very well said Betheny. They dont give a darn about the person in the w/c I've found, all they want is to satisfy their curosity, they start wondering what happened to that poor person in the w/c and just have to ask. They will never get a straight answer out of me anyhow, so they might as well have not asked

    Quote Originally Posted by betheny
    I would not ask a stranger about a cast on their arm., or a dent in their car. I was taught to not ask personal questions of strangers.

    The same randoms that ask the questions at Wal-Mart don't start off talking about the weather or the price of milk, or where you got your shoes or who cut your hair, or any of those things that strangers DO talk about. They aren't interested in talking to you. They are interested in satisfying their curiosity about you.

    It doesn't infuriate me, but I don't like it much. Maybe I should just ask the next one how much her wedding ring cost, or if she went to church on Sunday, or if she likes her mother.

    Kids are absolutely an exception. Kids are curious about everything.

    This is a common complaint among pregnant women also. They have an obvious condition, and somehow they become public property.
    "Life is about how you
    respond to not only the
    challenges you're dealt but
    the challenges you seek...If
    you have no goals, no
    mountains to climb, your
    soul dies".~Liz Fordred

  6. #66
    Senior Member Kratos's Avatar
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    ha i make ppl cry when they ask, so they don't ask no more .. they run away from me hi hi hi..
    http://www.facebook.com/ivicamaotze.rod

  7. #67
    I don't mind answering what happened to me, though I never get askeed now that I'm back in my hometown. I do mind being prayed over, touched or pitied.
    Emily, C-8 sensory incomplete mom to a 8 year old and a preschooler. TEN! years post.

  8. #68
    Senior Member wheeliecoach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SCI-Nurse
    So has anyone asked you two out of the blue if he can have sex? Happens to my clients all the time. The ultimate rude question.

    (KLD)
    I have gotten that question...especially considering my fiance and I are both in chairs with spinal cord issues. My typical response is that some things are just better left to the imagination. I will not go into my private sexual life with random strangers...let alone people I know. I find it rude and intruding.

    I do not mind people asking me what happened. I tell them that I have a progressive spinal cord and brain disease. That usually satisfies their curiosity. On occasion I get asked if I will ever get better with the answer being no. I have not had someone pray over me...but I think I would just break out in hysterics if someone did.
    "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot nothing's going to get better. It's not." - Dr. Seuss

  9. #69
    I had a dude throw holly water at me once I kept hoping it would work, but nada.
    Last edited by Curt Leatherbee; 07-24-2008 at 07:15 PM.
    "Life is about how you
    respond to not only the
    challenges you're dealt but
    the challenges you seek...If
    you have no goals, no
    mountains to climb, your
    soul dies".~Liz Fordred

  10. #70
    Senior Member
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    8,259
    Quote Originally Posted by Curt Leatherbee
    Very well said Betheny. They dont give a darn about the person in the w/c I've found, all they want is to satisfy their curosity, they start wondering what happened to that poor person in the w/c and just have to ask. They will never get a straight answer out of me anyhow, so they might as well have not asked
    Sadly, annoyingly and ironically, they're not even interested in that. They're interested in satisfying their curiosity about what happened to this freak back when they were a 'real person', before they were turned into this curiosity, that turned them into something the only real purpose of which is to satisfy my curiosity about it.
    "The world will not perish for want of wonders but for want of wonder."
    J.B.S.Haldane

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