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  1. #1

    What happened to YOU?

    My fiancee has C5-6 injury and about once a month when we're out somewhere, a random person asks him, "So...what happened to YOU?" The last time it happened, it was a janitor at the Metropolitan Museum of Art asking the question. One minute we're looking at the koi pond and exchanging friendly chit-chat in passing about fish and then we get that zinger. It always kind of catches us off guard. Or at least it catches me off guard. Whether it's in the cereal section at Acme or in a museum, it is never an appropriate question unless it's coming from the mouth of someone under the age of 12....and even then it's kind of arguable. He usually is very polite and briefly explains that he had a diving accident and he is a quadriplegic. Which then sometimes triggers an entirely different set of comments like, "Aw man, if that happened to me...". Which is typically when I step in and assure the curious/rude questioner that we're actually very happy (flashing my engagement ring) and he has a job and is rather happy with his life right now. I mean it's not really a big deal to us anymore and when we're done with the conversation and we're out of earshot we both just kind of look at each other, say "WTF?", and move on. Once a little boy asked him that question, which was an entirely different situation. It was kind of touching and cute....but really it's not so cute when it's a grown adult asking that particular question. It kind of makes me wonder what is wrong with people. So how do you handle our favorite question?
    Last edited by greentea07; 07-21-2008 at 10:59 PM.

  2. #2
    I tell some people I'm just really lazy and that the chair helps me get the ladies.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Mike Honcho
    I tell some people I'm just really lazy and that the chair helps me get the ladies.
    the latter part of this statement is confirmed every time you grace my Facebook news feed.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    Rude questions from strangers require nothing more than raised eyebrows and a question in response such as, "why would you want to know?" It works in so many ways!

  5. #5
    I so much agree with you greentea, it is a very inappropriate question for a complete stranger to ask. I never really know what say in such circumstances and I've been asked this like a million times over the past 27 years. I guess one way around it is you both could start giving them sign language and act deaf, that would get rid of them pretty quick when they were scratching their noggins trying to figure out your hand gibberish, lol.
    "Life is about how you
    respond to not only the
    challenges you're dealt but
    the challenges you seek...If
    you have no goals, no
    mountains to climb, your
    soul dies".~Liz Fordred

  6. #6
    Well, my mother usually says "I got this way because I was asking people rude questions all the time", but you may not want to use that one.

    I agree that "And why do you want to know?" or "and what business is it of yours?" is probably one of the better responses.

    So has anyone asked you two out of the blue if he can have sex? Happens to my clients all the time. The ultimate rude question.

    (KLD)

  7. #7
    I would prefer they ask than to stare and wonder. I don't mind their curiosity.

  8. #8
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    I've perfected the snobbish, squinty-eyed and high-pitched response of, "Nothing, what happened to YOU?"
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by SCI-Nurse


    So has anyone asked you two out of the blue if he can have sex? Happens to my clients all the time. The ultimate rude question.

    (KLD)
    yup, a few times.

    usually, my response to what happened to you is "nothing, why?" they usually slink away.

  10. #10
    The general public AND the doctors in my area are pretty clueless with sci so I do try to explain that it was a car accident, NOT my fault (they ALWAYS ask that.. not that it matters.. that's why it's called an "accident") and then I try to move on. It does surprise me, though, how bold people are.

    bbs

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