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Thread: What happened to YOU?

  1. #51
    Wow thanks for everyone's responses! I think my fiancee and I have some new material to use now for our more rude/drunk curious questioners. As for the truly sincere or otherwise slightly unaware of social norms, I think we'll keep to the real story.

  2. #52
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    My two cents-I would rather have them ask than stare. Maybe because of the weird nature of my injury (sleepwalking) I feel more comfortable sharing my story. I hate the stares when I park in the handicapped spots (because I look too young ) that turn into looks of pity when I get my chair out. AB people in general are clueless about SCI-I was there once myself.

  3. #53

    educate

    Greentea,
    Better get used to the idea of being offended. You should look at a question about a disabilty as a chance to educate someone rather than being offended. If not your going to spend a lot of time being offended.
    Naturally people are interested in what happens to you. We all should be as curious as children. After 35 years people still ask me. If you choose to not educate others, then why should they be interested in a cure.
    I hope this don't sound too harsh, but it is what it is...

  4. #54
    Senior Member darrel's Avatar
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    "What happenen to you?" never bothers me, the one that pisses me off the most is "I know how you feel" coming from an AB

  5. #55
    a lot of ppl get way too offended by the question. i mean, yeah, when someone asks flat-out rudely, that's one thing. but usually it's just curiosity, and i just answer honestly.

    a funny response i thought of, but have never used:
    "what happened? i'll make you a deal. first you tell me the story of the single-most devastating thing that happened in your life, then i'll tell you mine."

    Quote Originally Posted by darrel
    "What happenen to you?" never bothers me, the one that pisses me off the most is "I know how you feel" coming from an AB
    yup, someone spends a few days in a chair from breaking a leg, & all of the sudden they know. nevermind the fully functioning bowel/bladder, sensation, etc... these ppl are ignorant fools & likely cannot be educated.

  6. #56
    Senior Member Broknwing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by darrel
    "What happenen to you?" never bothers me, the one that pisses me off the most is "I know how you feel" coming from an AB
    that's an APPARENT AB....

    how much do you REALLY know about what that person has gone through, endured, conquered, etc...I for one would look at my good friend Sue and initially assume that she's completely AB, but I KNOW better...I know she's been through everything I have(and more) and it took her years to recover where she's at(competes in triathalons and going through the police academy currently)...I know there are others out there that are in similar situations....I NEVER assume that someone is diminishing or demeaning what I go through b/c you don't know what they've gone through unless you have the opportunity to talk to them.
    'Chelle
    L-1 inc 11/24/03

    "My Give-a-Damn's Busted"......

  7. #57
    Senior Member WM's Avatar
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    My husband gets that a lot but it's mostly from other people with disabilities. He's a member of a gym that is for disabled people only. I go with him sometime. 9 out of 10 people there ask when they meet, "What happened to you?" before they even ask your name. It doesn't seem to offend anyone at the gym.

    Every now and then he gets asked that by people in public, usually non-disabled people. He just tells them. It's really no big deal to him unless some attempted touching is involved. That's very rare though. That's only happened once that I am aware of and it was actually quite a funny story once the initial shock wore off.

    I like what murrey said.

    I can see where the questions would bother some people though. The questions bothered me when we first started dating. I'm not sure why now. Maybe because it was all new to me and I didn't know how to react. They really don't bother me now after 8 years of this. My husband is just a talker and will talk to anyone about anything! If we are in a funny mood we might say something funny. Like I might say, "He pissed me off one too many times." People look shocked, but then they laugh. I like to make people laugh. Even at my husband's "expense". Usually he just tells them the story. Like some have said, how can we expect people outside the SCI "community" to care about a cure, if those with SCI/and those who know about SCI, don't open up and talk about it? I didn't have a clue about SCI before I met my husband. It wasn't something I needed to know about.
    "I just want you to know, it was the best time ever." J.F.F.

  8. #58
    Murrey, I've never been offended really. The first time I was with my fiancee and someone asked him that question, I was just kind of surprised. I could sum up my reaction as, "Wow....did that just come of their mouth?" I watched him to see his response and he was polite and very kind in his interaction with the curious questioner. So I've responded in a similar way. I'm all about educating people. As nurse I know that you should take any opportunity you get to educate.

  9. #59
    Quote Originally Posted by Broknwing
    that's an APPARENT AB....

    how much do you REALLY know about what that person has gone through, endured, conquered, etc...I for one would look at my good friend Sue and initially assume that she's completely AB, but I KNOW better...
    Excellent point.

    C.

  10. #60
    Senior Member Ashley's Avatar
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    my favorite in the "I know how you feel" category is when they broke their leg and were in a wheelchair for 1 month. If they only really knew how much more there is to it! I understand that they're just trying to sympathize but i still find it comical I want to say, "Really? you stick your finger up your butt to poop?? ME TOO!"
    Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding; and that there is always tomorrow.
    -Dorothy Thompson

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