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Thread: When is helping really hurting?

  1. #31
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Griffith, In
    Posts
    83
    Thanks for the advice. He's hard to get through to sometimes, very hard-headed. I just try to put the "idea" in his head and hope that he picks up on it and makes it his own. I know what you mean by mind games, I'm getting to be a pro at them.

    He talks about the future all the time. A future in which he can walk and be independent. I hope that time comes for him, but I wish that he could live in the here and now. I guess it is just too painful for him, and I would never dare take away his hope. I just try to be there for him when he needs to let go and get those feelings out of his system, and let him know how much he means to me and the kids.

    Stacey

  2. #32
    I need to point out one common thread in this discussion which should make many of us pretty happy. A great deal of what is being discussed is common no matter what the injury level and is also common to parents with able bodied adolescents. IMHO, an adolescent is somewhere between the dependency of childhood and the independence of being an adult. Do you help or do you push - you've got to find the answer in your heart, your brain, as well as by really listening to your child. The injury makes this much harder for both the "child" and the parent, but many of the the issues are the same as with AB's. Each one of us is different and each adolescent is also different and the answer is frequently somewhere in the middle. There is also pretty good professional help available. Everytime that I have a conflict of these sorts with my son I say thank goodness that is the biggest problem. Oh, and thank goodness that my son does not read this forum... hopefully.
    Carl

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