Page 1 of 6 123456 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 53

Thread: What do you say to nosey nitwits?

  1. #1

    What do you say to nosey nitwits?

    I went out to lunch today with my son and we were minding our own business and having a great time.

    Out of nowhere some twit cornered me at the drink dispenser machine and asked if "the boy" was with me. Dumbstruck, I nodded. Then she said she was wondering what happened to him because he looked like he had been "in a game or something" ... I don't know what she was getting at, but I just said that we don't talk about it to strangers and walked away.

    I wanted to say "Wrong with him? What the f- is wrong with you?"

    What do yo say to people like that? It happens quite often.

    I usually just say that it's really none of their business.

    I don't mind when people ask because they are familiar with different disabilities and preface their questions with that. Heck, I hang out and chat for a while for that.

    But when people ask because they are twits, I just want to scream.

    Any advice?
    Ugh, I've been kissed by a dog!
    Get some hot water, get some iodine ...
    -- Lucy VanPelt

  2. #2
    Senior Member Tom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    SW Missouri
    Posts
    829
    Throw it back at them. Ask them about their apparent mental defect called rudeness. I know, some people are just dumb and cant help it but others can certainly learn how to ask nicely. Curiosity is natural, but nosiness is bothersome and when combined with rudeness it's pretty intolerable.

    Sorry you had to have this kind of encounter....

    Tom

  3. #3
    I'm usually caught off guard so instead of being rude in return, I say I was in a car accident and continue on my way if I think they are just nosey.
    Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know that, so it goes on flying anyways--Mary Kay Ash

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Placerville, CA
    Posts
    8,259
    Realize that they're coming from having no sort of a rewarding life, usually because they're deficient in intelligence, learnin, social skills, etc.; so they're sad little people hoping you'll liven up their dull existences with a good story and a chance to feel superior to someone. Specifically, after that? I doesn't really matter but cruelty isn't indicated; I keep it short though.
    "The world will not perish for want of wonders but for want of wonder."
    J.B.S.Haldane

  5. #5
    well, my typical response (as the dis person after fielding this question for 22 yrs) is why? nothing's wrong with me. then wait for maybe a more perceptive question, or they walk away.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by PeanutsLucy
    I don't mind when people ask because they are familiar with different disabilities and preface their questions with that. Heck, I hang out and chat for a while for that.

    But when people ask because they are twits, I just want to scream.
    Well, I guess I'll be the first to offer another viewpoint.

    Ignorance can be annoying, but it is typically curable. I have had total strangers walk up to me on the street and ask what's wrong with me or even if I am able to have sex. (not as a proposition, but merely out of curiosity) In almost every instance, I have smiled and given an honest answer. It hurts me not at all to tell someone that I broke my back and have a SCI and if I phrase things right, I may even convey the message that while I am willing to deal with their inappropriate and invasive questions, they are just that. I have always felt that if I can educate someone even a little bit, then it will be to my advantage and also that of the next gimp that happens to cross paths with that person.

    And these encounters tend to make for funny stories later on.

    C.

  7. #7
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Windsor ON Canada
    Posts
    19,320
    I'm not saying this is the right way to handle it at all, in fact it's a bit rude - but so are the people asking!

    Give them a look of curiousity, then say, "What? Nothing at all! (insert slight sarcasm with smile) What's wrong with you?" Then walk away with a spring in your step!

    HAH!
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  8. #8
    The people who ask things like these are invariably ignorant, in every sense of the word (both socially and medically ignorant). I usually look right back at them nicely but firmly and ask "why are you asking this question?".. Stay silent and wait for the apologies to start.

    It works with most british and americans..;O)

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by PeanutsLucy
    I went out to lunch today with my son and we were minding our own business and having a great time.

    Out of nowhere some twit cornered me at the drink dispenser machine and asked if "the boy" was with me. Dumbstruck, I nodded. Then she said she was wondering what happened to him because he looked like he had been "in a game or something" ... I don't know what she was getting at, but I just said that we don't talk about it to strangers and walked away.
    Terribly audacious.


  10. #10
    Senior Member wheeliecoach's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    East Haven, CT
    Posts
    2,600
    I have had similar situations occur. Usually it is because my fiance and I are out together and we are both in chairs. I love the questions I get when we are getting out of the car. I get my chair out, transfer into it, and then grab his chair out from the back and give it to him. They usually watch in horror as I put my chair together while he just sits there...until they figure out he is in a chair as well.

    I usually do not mind questions such as "I hope you do not mind me asking but...". I think this helps educate people...and even though it is a small percentage that will ask, at least someone now has the real reason why I am in a chair...and what I can definitely do or not do.

    That person who asked you though needs to take a class in tact. What did she mean by it looked as though he had been in a game? Yup...he is in the game of life...what game is she in??? In any case, I like the answer you gave, and maybe (although I highly doubt it), she felt stupid.
    Last edited by wheeliecoach; 06-10-2008 at 07:35 AM.
    "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot nothing's going to get better. It's not." - Dr. Seuss

Similar Threads

  1. Nosey nurse asking questions….what do I say
    By taj2002 in forum Caregiving
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 11-10-2006, 10:48 PM
  2. Just Being Nosey
    By Christopher Paddon in forum Cure
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 05-21-2004, 07:07 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •