Use of the phrase "Confined to a wheelchair" [Archive]

zillazangel

11-30-2006, 09:31 PM

OK, I need your opinions. When I hear anyone describe a wheelchair user as "confined" to a wheeler, it makes my blood boil. When someone says that about Chad (we here it all the time) I have to struggle mightily to not say something massively rude. As you all know here, I am terrifically talented at being rude - one of my charming personality traits. :applaud:

SO - does that term offend you? Or am I somehow taking on a crip personality that has a chip on my shoulder?????

If I'm out of line in that irritating me, I'll try to not make me mad. It just implies to me "poor, poor, poor victim who is STUCK forever and ev-ah to a terrible plight in life". No one says that are confined to crutches or a cane do they?

cass

11-30-2006, 09:42 PM

offends me. i was even more shocked when my neighbor referred to me as "bedridden" because i can't just hop outta bed to answer the door ...
:eek2:

darkeyed_daisy

11-30-2006, 09:52 PM

Sometimes I feel like I am "confined" to motherhood and paying bills....LOL

Oh well... It does make it sound like he is in a "prison of a life". Maybe the people saying this automatically assume everyone likes to be pitied...and sympathized???

I like to throw my own pity parties on my own terms....and invite who I want to invite. My thing is "you look like youre gittin' along better"...small town talk ya know... Sometimes I feel like saying its only been seventeen years and you either choose to live or choose not to.

Its kind of like strangers handling my daughters hands when she was a baby....nothing errkkss me more. I know that people just try to be nice but just say how are you? fine and go on....LOL

I really dont feel confined but I dont want to be reminded that I am confined to this painful life either.

2jazzyjeff

11-30-2006, 09:54 PM

zillazangel

11-30-2006, 10:05 PM

Doesn't or rather wouldn't bother me. Never heard someone use that term towards me. I just get, ''in a chair''..

Crippled or crip bothers me more than anything and I'm getting use to it since being here since a lot of ppl. use it.

My best friends boys call me ''Sped''.. short for Special Ed..:)

I'm so sorry Jeff!! Chad says it allll the time and alot of people here to do, but I apologize for offending you that way. (( apologies)) But thanks for the repsonse, these are helping.

2jazzyjeff

11-30-2006, 10:13 PM

No need to apologize Ami.. :) but thanks. It just seemes that ''cripple'' is just a harsh word rather than handicapped. When I envision ''cripple'', I think of someone that is mangled from a wreck.. trust me, it's me and I don't mind it so much now.. :D We all have phrases or sayings that we have to overcome, right? That was mine..

trainman

11-30-2006, 10:19 PM

I haven't heard the confined part as much as bedridden. Sure, I've been in bed for several weeks at a time for pressure sores, but I'm still able to get out of it. I don't know that it bothers me so much or that I'm just used to it any more. Just try to maybe a little education opportunity as not confined, but uses, or something of the sort. We get out of our chairs on occasion to do other things, but they are just the easiest form of transportation.

NorthQuad

11-30-2006, 10:28 PM

The description doesn't bother me at all. When I describe myself as gibbled or anything like that it seems to bother other people more. As a matter of fact I just read a new label today that gave me a good laugh. Jeff's "Sped" name gave me a chuckle too, it's fairly creative.

Tiger Racing

11-30-2006, 10:37 PM

When I hear anyone describe a wheelchair user as "confined" to a wheeler, it makes my blood boil.
It doesn't make me angry, but I find it annoying in that it is extremely inaccurate and paints the wrong picture. If anything, a wheelchair frees one, it doesn't confine them. I point that out to people when they use the term and try to make sure that the phrase is never used in any printed article that I am associated with.

No one says that are confined to crutches or a cane do they? No, 'cause those gimps will beat you with their supportive devices.

C.

canuck

11-30-2006, 11:28 PM

The confined to a chair does bug me along with crippled. I also hate "requires 24 hour a day care" the only people that really & truly require the 24 hour a day care are the vent dependent quads/

11-30-2006, 11:46 PM

Good topic Ami! I find it interesting how the same word or phrase affects so many people differently. "Confined to a wheelchair" doesn't bother me ( or him, I just asked him) because for mobility purposes, unless driving, he IS confined to the wheelchair. What does offend us is when people assume he is RETARDED and treat him as such. We can only assume that somehow to them wheelchair = retarded.:thinking: But, then again, sometimes he ACTS retarded so that assumption is not always totally unfounded on their part!:D

Case in point: Going down the aisle at the store, singing and dancing, with me hissing from another aisle---"Stop it! Stop it! You're making a spectacle of yourself!" Just my luck, another guy further up his aisle is doing the same! And so he YELLS, "BUT HE'S DOING IT TOO! SEE???!!!" Retarded? You be the judge! True, some might call me a kill-joy, but he does this kind of crap to me all the time!:zombie: :D

haha! JefferEffer is Sped.:applaud: :D

murrey

11-30-2006, 11:53 PM

I get a little ticked at people who want everything politically correct. Thin skinned and easy offended don't do well around me.To me it's almost a false humility . I have heard the term crippled, to handicapped, to disabled. A person cannot have everything their way. Some people don't like the term crippled. I say tough get over it. I have worked in nursing homes for 17 yrs now. Most of the old folks only knew the term crippled. Thats what they learned, that was their life. So they say crippled, what do we do get offended and change them, even at 90. So if someone wants to say confined to a wheelchair thats fine with me. I mean is it a total lie. I mean they are trying to describe a situation to the best of their ability.And we all need a little forgiveness now and then.

Juke_spin

12-01-2006, 12:02 AM

Doesn't or rather wouldn't bother me. Never heard someone use that term towards me. I just get, ''in a chair''..

Crippled or crip bothers me more than anything and I'm getting use to it since being here since a lot of ppl. use it.

My best friends boys call me ''Sped''.. short for Special Ed..:)

Shouldn't that be "Spej"..for Special Jeff? Or Spev..for Special Veg?:p

Juke_spin

12-01-2006, 12:06 AM

The term "confined to a wheelchair" used to bug me but, as I modify my attitude toward the facilitation of a cure, it does much less so because it foucuses the association and might induce the individuals exposed to it to want to get me/us out of that confinement.

"Shutin", is a term I've heard and really resent.

2jazzyjeff

12-01-2006, 12:12 AM

Shouldn't that be "Spej"..for Special Jeff? Or Spev..for Special Veg?:pI'll stick to ''Sped'', but thanks.. :) We shall call you ''Spuke'', not to be confused with Special Juke, but more like Special Puke.. :p :back2top:

darkeyed_daisy

12-01-2006, 12:15 AM

Sped

What about spud?

"Spontaneous peeparific ubertastic dummy":p :D :agog: :mega:

justadildo

12-01-2006, 12:19 AM

its just words....i'm not confined to a chair, i'm confined to my body...........

12-01-2006, 12:20 AM

Shouldn't that be "Spej"..for Special Jeff? Or Spev..for Special Veg?

aw...Special Jeff---that's sweet!:p But Special Veg? Don't tell me the effer has come over to the cleaner, saner and more humane side of life to become a vegetarian?---nope, can't be it....;)

Ole' Murrey, our granny refers to him as crippled, and thinks he should be given special consideration by the entire world due his crippledness. (granny's are like that!):p i.e...."Damn it! What were they thinking?! Can't they see you're CRIPPLED!":D We love her. She's a good granny.:)

We are pretty much intent people when it comes to words. If someone didn't intend harm, none taken.

Juke_spin

12-01-2006, 12:20 AM

What about spud?

"Spontaneous peeparific ubertastic dummy":p :D :agog: :mega:

Alright Daisy, what does "peeperific" mean?:thinking::hammer:

:back2top:

addiesue

12-01-2006, 12:23 AM

Reminds me of that "glad to see you out" thread. I guess you never know what you say that annoys people.

darkeyed_daisy

12-01-2006, 12:30 AM

Alright Daisy, what does "peeperific" mean?:thinking::hammer:

:back2top:

Juke....pay attention- it's peeparific not peeperific. I am brushing up on my dictionary skills....

Peeparific (adjective) : Something that is cool beyond belief. An experience or thing that is hip or cool at a new level.
http://www3.merriam-webster.com/opendictionary/newword_search.php?word=p&last=60

:back2top:

Now about the Granny and cripple thing.....around here they really do refer to me as "cripple" but I figure it is just a "lil ol lady or man" thing and it doesnt bother me too much. However, "bug eyed retirees" who should know better than to stare and make it incredibly obvious like hitting their hubbies/wives and pointing.....well that is when I turn into a "raving lunatic". I am not nice and make it obvious. I am quite nice to old folks/kids who just come out and ask.

2jazzyjeff

12-01-2006, 12:51 AM

But Special Veg? Don't tell me the effer has come over to the cleaner, saner and more humane side of life to become a vegetarian?---nope, can't be it....;) I'll try and answer... Ummm umm, those poke chops sure were tasty tonight. :yumyum:

darkeyed_daisy

12-01-2006, 01:01 AM

I'll try and answer... Ummm umm, those poke chops sure were tasty tonight. :yumyum:

uuuhhhh huuummmm.......

A "poke" is a paper bag. Not the plastic kind but a real brown paper bag. My granny said so....fifteen years ago that is what she called it.:p :zombie: :agog:

CurlieQCarrie

12-01-2006, 01:02 AM

It doesn't really bother me anymore. People can be ignorant about terms, but I figure that's their problem, not mine. I have had been told some weird things and they don't even contain the words "handicap," "cripple," or "confined." For example, a friend and I were talking the other day & he actually said to me "Since you can never work again...." I just looked at him & was kinda stunned. (If you knew this guy, it might not be so surprising but it made me feel weird that he didn't think I COULD work. ) I just kinda laughed and said "Yea dude, I go to school just for the fun of it!!"

Don't worry too much Ami. Eventually the dumb people in the world will have to own their ignorance.

Myc0

12-01-2006, 01:02 AM

I don't like the "confined to a wheelchair" label, I prefer the enlightended and liberating term INVALID. :puke1:

12-01-2006, 01:17 AM

I'll try and answer... Ummm umm, those poke chops sure were tasty tonight. :yumyum:

MEAT EATING EFFER!:mad: :D :p

Tiger Racing

12-01-2006, 02:05 AM

Don't worry too much Ami. Eventually the dumb people in the world will have to own their ignorance. Stupidity is not the same as ignorance. The latter can be cured.

If someone uses offensive terminology, or even just a phrase that (generic) you don't feel comfortable with, then it is up to you to educate them. It's not that big a deal to just tell someone that "people with disabilities" is more accurate than "cripples".

C.

CurlieQCarrie

12-01-2006, 03:53 AM

If I corrected everyone that used the word "cripple" I wouldn't get anything else done with my day. Since it doesn't bother me, I don't feel the need to correct them anyway. I guess I brush things off differently than other people.

cass

12-01-2006, 03:56 AM

carrie, you got that right! :)

Tiger Racing

12-01-2006, 04:28 AM

If I corrected everyone that used the word "cripple" I wouldn't get anything else done with my day.
I recognize that you are using hyperbole, but I still think that your exaggeration is quite out of line with reality. It seems like all anyone around here notices is the worst that can be associated with disability. Hardly anyone talks about the great parking!

Since it doesn't bother me, I don't feel the need to correct them anyway. I guess I brush things off differently than other people. You said that being called a "cripple" didn't bother you, but you did mention an instance between you and a friend that indicated ignorance. My point was that ignorance can be cured, but that we are the ones who need to speak up when opportunities arise. I wasn't trying to tell you what you should be bothered with, but only that you can be part of the solution when something does actually concern you.

C.

cass

12-01-2006, 05:02 AM

the great parking?? :confused: :confused: good god almighty...do you drive a ramp van?? geez louise, i hardly go anywhere any more cause of the parking crap. after almost 21 yrs, i'm sick of fighting it. and i drive a lot, all over this country...until bout a yr ago when i got tired of it. i go to the theatre, concerts, hell, my son's soccer games and the parking sucks.

talked to city halls, ppl, called cops, business owners....blah blah. gets REAL OLD.

Tiger Racing

12-01-2006, 05:08 AM

the great parking?? :confused: :confused: good god almighty...do you drive a ramp van?? First, it was a joke. Second, gods no! I drive sports cars. Third, you have a valid point about the difficulty in finding parking for your type of vehicle. Lastly, lighten up! It was a joke.

C.

cass

12-01-2006, 05:11 AM

sorry! parking is lately sore point w/me!! :D am actually considering suing for the first time in my life after latest city hall said they never heard of ADA!!

Tiger Racing

12-01-2006, 05:32 AM

sorry! parking is lately sore point w/me!!
Hey, I feel your pain! At least a little. If it makes you feel any beter, I have started noticing recently that van accessible parking spots are the rarest kind and I feel guilty when the only gimp spot available is a van accessible one and I use it.

am actually considering suing for the first time in my life after latest city hall said they never heard of ADA!! Sheesh! You're kidding? What idiots! My husband and I are doing extensive renovation on a house and our plan approver (or whatever they're called) told us that the ramp I wanted didn't meet code, but that if we left it off the blueprint (wink-wink, nudge-nudge) he would approve our permit. I'm trying to figure out who to speak to in our city to ask them if this is normal practice or an aberration.

C.

2jazzyjeff

12-01-2006, 11:45 AM

It seems like all anyone around here notices is the worst that can be associated with disability. Hardly anyone talks about the great parking!
Make a list with pros and cons associated with disability. Now, with the info you already know, Do the math!! I'm not sure of how many ppl. wake up each day thinking of how much they can do bc of their disability.

Parking? It's the single most thing I look forward to everytime I go out..:rolleyes:
I mean, it's what I'm in it for...

Juke_spin

12-01-2006, 11:50 AM

Make a list with pros and cons associated with disability. Now, with the info you already know, Do the math!! I'm not sure of how many ppl. wake up each day thinking of how much they can do bc of their disability.

Parking? It's the single most thing I look forward to everytime I go out..:rolleyes:
I mean, it's what I'm in it for...
Where can I get one of those Fxxking shirts?:applaud::applaud::D

darkeyed_daisy

12-01-2006, 11:53 AM

sorry! parking is lately sore point w/me!! :D am actually considering suing for the first time in my life after latest city hall said they never heard of ADA!!

It has recently started to be a problem for me too. It is pretty bad when you plan your grocery shopping trips around the times there is likely to be a parking spot available. In our town, usually after 8 at night. Most retirees dont drive after dark and since all the retirees here have their handicap tags, parking is horrendous.

Explain this to me: They go to the track to walk or to the fitness center to get their excercise but can't walk 40 feet to get into walmart? I don't care if the bigger parking place is farther down the parking lot...I will gladly park there. I just need a bigger spot to be able to get out of the vehicle.

Sorry I dont want to hijack this thread....but this bothers me more than any name that anyone could ever call me.

2jazzyjeff

12-01-2006, 11:54 AM

our plan approver (or whatever they're called) told us that the ramp I wanted didn't meet code, but that if we left it off the blueprint (wink-wink, nudge-nudge) he would approve our permit. I'm trying to figure out who to speak to in our city to ask them if this is normal practice or an aberration. Are you trying to turn someone in for attempting to help you out? :confused:

darkeyed_daisy

12-01-2006, 11:55 AM

Parking? It's the single most thing I look forward to everytime I go out..:rolleyes:
I mean, it's what I'm in it for...

Is that a purple witch sticker adorning that cool sweatshirt??? :p :o

darkeyed_daisy

12-01-2006, 11:57 AM

Are you trying to turn someone in for attempting to help you out? :confused:

She didnt get a purple witch sticker from the building inspector....:p :zombie: :mega: LOL

2jazzyjeff

12-01-2006, 12:05 PM

Where can I get one of those Fxxking shirts?:applaud::applaud::Dhttp://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=517

Is that a purple witch sticker adorning that cool sweatshirt??? :p :oI think so...? My nephew stuck it on me when we got to Six Flags.. :)

davesgirl aka anty

12-01-2006, 12:20 PM

Thanks for the thread jeff I love your sweatshirt. By the way what is next to you in that picture :thinking: anty

2jazzyjeff

12-01-2006, 12:25 PM

Thanks for the thread jeff I love your sweatshirt. By the way what is next to you in that picture :thinking: antyIt's supposed to be some kind of scary person at Six Flags during Fright Fest.. can't get Photoshop to let me crop the original after already doing it once before..:(

davesgirl aka anty

12-01-2006, 12:29 PM

I just ordered a shirt thanks :) anty

rollin64

12-01-2006, 12:29 PM

If anything, a wheelchair frees one, it doesn't confine them. C.

BRAVO......:applaud:

same with me. it doesn't make me mad, i just find it annoying and inaccurate. just like, "crippled". it don't bother me in a joking manner but when i'm described as bein "crippled" it kinda gets under my skin.

Juke_spin

12-01-2006, 12:30 PM

It's supposed to be some kind of scary person at Six Flags during Fright Fest.. here's a better pic..

Nice better pic there, veggie, and that ain't for vegatarian.:p

darkeyed_daisy

12-01-2006, 12:33 PM

Nice better pic there, veggie, and that ain't for vegatarian.:p

Pass the payote...I cant see it:thinking: :p

2jazzyjeff

12-01-2006, 12:36 PM

Nice better pic there, veggie, and that ain't for vegatarian.:pI edited it.. see above.. :o

Timaru

12-01-2006, 01:42 PM

Confined to a wheelchair, full time wheelchair user - Not nice but essential terms.

For the last few years (why I don't know) when booking something if you just say you're in a 'chair the clerk seems to assume that you are capable of standing and shuffling a few steps. I spend ages now explaining that I can't get out of the bloody thing and that I have to get it next to the bed etc., etc.,!

The terms confined/full time seem to switch them on from the start.

RJC

12-01-2006, 02:45 PM

I always say to people why do you have to classify me as anything? In a wheelchair, disabled, confined to, handicapped or whatever... I'm just Rob, not Rob the guy in the wheelchair.

I don't introduce you as "Mike with the glasses" or "Susie with the big tits".... thats pretty obvious to anyone how can see and it doesn't classify you does it? So why the need to apply a term to me? I'm just Rob

Tiger Racing

12-01-2006, 03:33 PM

Are you trying to turn someone in for attempting to help you out? :confused: I'm trying to find out if my city is abiding by the ADA and applying it correctly or if they are ignoring this important law. Does my city think it's imortant to include people with disbilities or do they think laws like this are petty and inconsequential? Does the planner who looked at our blueprints routinely allow and encourage people to circumvent the ADA or did he make a special exception for us because he believed that he was doing us a favor and that the law (as he saw it) was too strict to be applicable in our case?

What's happening is that we are renovating a house built on a raised foundation. There are 3 or 4 steps leading up to the front door just like there used to be at the back. We've leveled the backyard so that the house, yard and garage are all on one plane. There will be no step into the house. We will be parking in the back and using the back entrance on a daily basis, but I thought it was a good idea to add a ramp to the front of the house so that there is more than one accessible entrance/exit. Who wants to have to walk all the way around their own house just to get something from the front yard?

I know my own abilities and aesthetics. The ramp I want to put in the front is about a foot or so shy of the 1:12 ratio that is mandated by the ADA for accessiblity. It would work fine for me and for most other people with disabilities. If we make the ramp any longer we will have to rip out part of the existing walkway and lawn. The ramp would also stick out past a portion of the house and be much more obvious. I want it to blend into the rest of the architecture.

There are a number of issues here. One is that whoever looked at our plans thinks that the ADA applies to single family, residential homes. It does not. Another problem is that even though this guy thinks the ADA applies to private homes, he's not applying it consistently. The only thing he noted as violating ADA was the ramp. He said nothing about the bathrooms, doorways in the rooms we're adding, etc.

So like I said, does this particular person just not understand the ADA and Calfornia's Title 24 or is it a citywide problem? Are businesses routinely allowed to violate the law? Is the city incorrectly forcing residents to make their private homes comply with a law that doesn't apply to them? In our case, it delayed construction for at least 3 weeks while we made changes to the plans.

Now, I am all for making every home in America accessible for people with disabilities, but the truth is that there is no current law that requires that. If there was, then we would have complied with it when planning our renovation. It costs money to make changes to blueprints. For many people, delays in construction can cost them in extra rent, etc.

That was probably more detail than you expected, but I hope it makes sense. I'm not trying to get anyone in trouble. I just want to make sure that my city is correctly applying and enforcing the ADA. It is to all our benefit that they do so.

C.

Lindox

12-01-2006, 04:33 PM

2jazzyjeff

12-01-2006, 04:47 PM

From what I gather, his intent was NOT to avoid the ADA, but rather suit your original idea...

The ramp I want to put in the front is about a foot or so shy of the 1:12 ratio that is mandated by the ADA for accessiblity. It would work fine for me and for most other people with disabilities. If we make the ramp any longer we will have to rip out part of the existing walkway and lawn. The ramp would also stick out past a portion of the house and be much more obvious. I want it to blend into the rest of the architecture. IMO, the 1:12 ratio is a bit extreme and you seem to agree. I understand exactly what he is trying to accomplish by leaving the ramp design out. If the house was being used for a business he'd comply with guidelines, but a private residence is entirely decided by you. I know that my ramps throughout my house don't comply and I'm sure that the vast majority of ppl. here, there's don't either. Good topic for a poll..

cass

12-01-2006, 06:02 PM

It's supposed to be some kind of scary person at Six Flags during Fright Fest.. can't get Photoshop to let me crop the original after already doing it once before..:(

looks like it's patting you on the head....awwww ain't that sweet...:lolz:

Juke_spin

12-01-2006, 06:19 PM

From what I gather, his intent was NOT to avoid the ADA, but rather suit your original idea...

IMO, the 1:12 ratio is a bit extreme and you seem to agree. I understand exactly what he is trying to accomplish by leaving the ramp design out. If the house was being used for a business he'd comply with guidelines, but a private residence is entirely decided by you. I know that my ramps throughout my house don't comply and I'm sure that the vast majority of ppl. here, there's don't either. Good topic for a poll.
So post one vegieJ.:p

BTW, and not for nothing, you're not supposed to end a sentence like this..:p:p

12-02-2006, 02:38 AM

I'm paralysed so I can't walk. Therefore I'm a cripple confined to a wheelchair.
In my opinion being PC is just patronising.

Adrian

12-03-2006, 02:18 PM

People saying "Confined to a wheelchair" doesn't bother me at all; people use the phrase to mean wheelchair dependent and I am wheelchair dependent so why should it bother me? I am restricted by where I can go without getting help as a a result of having to use a wheelchair and in that sense it is accurate to say that I am "confined by my wheelchair dependence" but that is an incredibly clumsy phrase so the phrase "confined to a wheelchair" sums that up in a more compact and usable way.

MattGimpin

12-03-2006, 04:04 PM

Yeah, it bothers me. The media screws up and writes that all the time. Same with "wheelchair-bound." Not as offensive, but still wrong.

From p 75 of the AP Stylebook under the Disabled, handicapped, impaired entry:

wheelchair-user (the correct term by AP) - People use wheelchairs for independent mobility. Do not use "confined to a wheelchair," or "wheelchair-bound." If a wheelchair is needed, say why.

Yet, every time I read a story in the news about someone who's disabled the author uses one of those. I feel like John Goodman's character in The Big Lebowski... Am I the only one who gives a shit about the rules?!?!?!?

LooseCannon

12-03-2006, 07:04 PM

I'm paralysed so I can't walk. Therefore I'm a cripple confined to a wheelchair.
In my opinion being PC is just patronising.
I agree. You can call me whatever you want; I know who I am and my abilities.

Ozymandias

12-03-2006, 08:14 PM

This is just another of those things where the unfortunate get together and try to take advantage of the pity and consideration of others to push an agenda that turns reality on its head. It's the kind of bullshit that makes me nuts.

I am confined to a wheelchair. It's a horrible thing. "Wheelchair user" is just a way of not stressing how horrible it is, but it doesn't in any way change the reality of the situation.

Call a spade a spade.

Flight attendant: "Welcome aboard, Miss. We keep seatbelt extenders for obese people. Would you like one?"

Circumstances confine me to this wheelchair. I'm confined. I am imprisoned in this broken body. My will is chained.

"Polite" is an interesting term. Often it is just a matter of not telling the truth. What I think is that yes, getting worked up over the term "confined to a wheelchair" is displaying a certain type of touchiness brought about by being in a shitty situation and getting upset when people call it what it is.

The depths of denial people sink to sometimes is just maddening. I suppose, though, that it is necessitated by the fact that our situation is so monstrous. "I never felt disabled." Absolute and utter insanity! "It's really not a big deal." And so on and so on.

One might think that we would have enough to deal with, and that someone pointing out something true about us would be the least of our concerns. But this is just an instance of "truth hurts". That is, those who suffer hardships, and have to go into denial about it in order to be able to go on living and deal with reality, are precisely those people who get all bent out of shape when someone innocently points out something painful, and true, about their situations.

12-03-2006, 11:46 PM

"wheelchair-bound."

I have never heard anyone use that term. The thought that came to mind was that it sounds like a destination---like when seeing kids headed to the beach and they've written "beach bound" on the back glass of their car!:D Of course, "wheelchair" is not a destination anyone would seek out (with maybe the exception of a wannabe, but that's another topic).

Like I said earlier, it's not words themselves that bother me, but intent. However, after some thought, I do remember a time that words DID bother me, even if the intent was not to do harm. I think at that time, since I had not always lived this life, the fact that someone's words pointed out--made an issue-- that we were "different" caused me distress.

I'm too tired to care what people say anymore really. I don't think I've reached some higher level of understanding or acceptance or tolerance. I think I'm just to tired to care.

porchdog

12-04-2006, 12:25 PM

Seems everyone is offended by something dosent it. You cannot educate people to suit yourself because what offends some makes others laugh.
When I broke my stupid neck it definately made me a handicapped cripple.
But lets face it, some could call me a cripple and it would not offend me, where if others did I might get a little raw.
I hate to go to a restaurant and have my wife and myself referred to as "you guys". Where the hell did that come from, my wife isnt a guy.

mindywheels

12-04-2006, 01:14 PM

Confined to a wheelchair does not bother me. Life is to short to dwell on words. I am more offended my a pat on the head or someone leaning on my chair handle, hello thats a part of me. i once even had a stranger move my chair with me in it on a bus. Words are just works though and its usually older people that say bedridden, confined and crippled and they grew up in a different time.

cali

12-06-2006, 03:12 PM

i just hate when people talk to me (or talk to other people about me as if i'm not sitting right there) like it's a sickness. i've actually had a person call it a sickness right to me, and they were a med student! :mad: that pissed me off. hello, it's an injury, not a sickness. and people may have to rely on that person for medical care someday, i dread the thought.

sjean423

12-07-2006, 06:57 PM

What bothers me most is when I am referred to as "the wheelchair" or "a wheelchair" as if I am not seperate from my wheelchair. "Make way for the wheelchair" or even better "I have a wheelchair at the gate, where should I put it?"

I haven't run in to that one yet, but wow! It really would bother me.

Ozymandias

12-08-2006, 12:20 AM

Here's a winner:

http://www.1ofakindstuff.com/Lets-Get-Retarded-T-Shirt.html

Curt Leatherbee

12-08-2006, 01:21 AM

It doesn't make me angry, but I find it annoying in that it is extremely inaccurate and paints the wrong picture. If anything, a wheelchair frees one, it doesn't confine them. I point that out to people when they use the term and try to make sure that the phrase is never used in any printed article that I am associated with.

No, 'cause those gimps will beat you with their supportive devices.

C.

If somebody ever said anything like "confined to a Wheelchair" to Bootie Barker, he just wheels away from the interview.

jayday9

12-09-2006, 04:43 PM

Just words...Shrug em off...At least they aren't saying "lazily relaxing in a wheelchair" like we're all just on vacation or something....

Jeff that shirt is great...

2jazzyjeff

12-09-2006, 05:14 PM

Thanks Jay.. :) All I need now is to find one that would match my ''Hawaiian Collection''.. :thumbsup:

Annabanana

12-10-2006, 03:43 AM

Confined to a wheelchair doesnt worry me...its not meant personally and is the easiest way of saying that I am screwed up without one...which I am.

MattGimpin

01-16-2007, 07:55 PM

I am confined to a wheelchair. It's a horrible thing.

Oh really? What about when you go in the pool? Confined then? How about the ocean? What about in your bed at night? I don't know about you but I don't sleep in my chair or take it swimming.

Tiger Racing

01-16-2007, 08:40 PM

I don't know about you but I don't sleep in my chair or take it swimming.
Ayup. That's my point exactly.

C.

Foolish Old

01-16-2007, 08:55 PM

I haven't read this whole thread - the title caught my eye - and maybe someone has touched on this.

I have seen people who were confined to wheelchairs - by physical restraints under the pretext of keeping them safe. No one will ever convince me that it was not for the convenience of their institutional caretakers.:nono:

Tiger Racing

01-16-2007, 09:07 PM

I have seen people who were confined to wheelchairs - by physical restraints under the pretext of keeping them safe.
I've seen people strapped into their chairs to give them stability from lack of trunk muscles.

No one will ever convince me that it was not for the convenience of their institutional caretakers.
Perhaps, but that doesn't mean that it is automatically wrong depending on the individual and the circumstance.

Parents put their kids in playpens, which are basically small cages. Do you condemn that? What about high chairs, strollers and baby seats? Cribs? I personally have a problem with parents who set their kids down in front of a TV set for hours at a time because it's the easiest way to distract them and keep them from running around.

C.

wheelz99

01-16-2007, 09:32 PM

to me, it's just all words. it sems like every year, the acceptable has suddenly been deemed not politically correct and we have to be called by a new term. what a crock. no matter what people say, my life isn't going to change.

how are they supposed to know what the proper term is so as not to offend? no one ever died of getting offended. i don't expect people to know how and i don't expect them to be sensitive to my plight. i see no reason to ever get upset about it. mostly i've seen AB partners and friends of "handicapped" people get out of line.

so my advice would be this, if you want to educate the public, be nice about it. leave your anger at home.

Foolish Old

01-16-2007, 09:39 PM

I've seen people strapped into their chairs to give them stability from lack of trunk muscles.

Perhaps, but that doesn't mean that it is automatically wrong depending on the individual and the circumstance.

Parents put their kids in playpens, which are basically small cages. Do you condemn that? What about high chairs, strollers and baby seats? Cribs? I personally have a problem with parents who set their kids down in front of a TV set for hours at a time because it's the easiest way to distract them and keep them from running around.

C.

Tiger, I admit to being a fool, but please give me some small credit for being able to differentiate between care and abuse. Trust me, the Devil has enough advocates - so please don't be concerned that the other side of the coin wasn't viewed.

Yes, I understand about the need for some folks to have support belts due to trunk muscle weakness. I also know that children should have safety belts in high chairs and car seats. That's not relevant to what I witnessed on many occasions. I'm talking about protesting adults who could walk being tied into wheelchairs and abandoned in front of blaring television sets for long periods of time. This was before patient advocacy and human rights committees were even concepts.

My point is that the phrase "confined to a wheelchair" is often used much too casually. Anyone who has seen the literal reality of true confinement will appreciate the difference.

And yes, I do condemn any parent who confines or restrains their child unattended for long periods of time.

2jazzyjeff

01-16-2007, 10:30 PM

how are they supposed to know what the proper term is so as not to offend?I was just having this very same discussion with another member from here at dinner tonight. How can we get offended when they have no idea? Just can't take everything personal. They mean well, try to remember that. :)

Tiger Racing

01-16-2007, 11:21 PM

I admit to being a fool, but please give me some small credit for being able to differentiate between care and abuse. Trust me, the Devil has enough advocates - so please don't be concerned that the other side of the coin wasn't viewed.
I find devil's advocates irritating most of the time. If I sounded like one, I apologize. I didn't mean to. However, I certainly don't need to be reminded to give you credit for anything. I haven't belittled you in any way. I only commented on what I've seen and think and questioned you to clarify your position.

I understand about the need for some folks to have support belts due to trunk muscle weakness.
I mentioned what I've seen personally. I have seen in movies and documentaries people with mental disabilities and some types of physical disabilities who were literally tied into their wheelchairs, but not IRL.

I also know that children should have safety belts in high chairs and car seats. That's not relevant to what I witnessed on many occasions. I'm talking about protesting adults who could walk being tied into wheelchairs and abandoned in front of blaring television sets for long periods of time. This was before patient advocacy and human rights committees were even concepts.
You didn't spell that out in your first post. I try not to assume things and ask a lot of questions. Answer them or don't. Clarify or don't. I'm getting rather tired of people getting bent over being asked simple questions. I would hope that at this point you would not be one of them.

However, I've got a few more anyway. These adults you speak of who could speak and walk, couldn't use their hands or their hands were tied down too? Have you seen anything like that lately or are you only bringing up the past to make your point? (which is a valid one, in my opinion)

My point is that the phrase "confined to a wheelchair" is often used much too casually. Anyone who has seen the literal reality of true confinement will appreciate the difference.
Indeed. This is exactly why I correct people when they use this phrasing. It is highly inaccurate and shows a lack of perspective.

And yes, I do condemn any parent who confines or restrains their child unattended for long periods of time.
That long periods of time thing is the key though.

C.

Tiger Racing

01-16-2007, 11:35 PM

it sems like every year, the acceptable has suddenly been deemed not politically correct and we have to be called by a new term.
That is quite an exaggeration. There has been no great change in terminology referring to people with disabilities in some time now.

no matter what people say, my life isn't going to change.
You may want to do a bit of checking into the connection between language and reality. You are wrong if you think that the words people use don't matter and don't affect you. Words shape thought. The way people think about you affects how they treat you.

how are they supposed to know what the proper term is so as not to offend?
By being educated.

so my advice would be this, if you want to educate the public, be nice about it. leave your anger at home.
Absolutely. I don't actually find this kind of inaccurate terminology to be offensive. It comes from ignorance and ignorance is curable. It's just up to each individual to take the time to educate when the opportunity arises.

C.

Foolish Old

01-17-2007, 12:03 AM

C,

The point of my post was that confinement is a strong word. I don't think ill of people who use it without thinking, but I do wish they would consider the power of their words in shaping the perception of wheelers. I do find it condescending that you would find the need to explain to me that there might be legitimate reasons to secure a person into a wheelchair.

To satisfy your curiosity...In some instances the folks I spoke of had their wrists restrained. Others were only bound around the chest and tied in behind old fashioned high back chairs. No, I no longer have occasion to witness such happenings. I would be surprised (overjoyed) if inappropriate use of physical and chemical restraints has been entirely eliminated in institutional settings.

jplw

01-17-2007, 02:04 AM

Symantics. I havn't read all of the posts here, but in my opinion its just about education sometimes. I dont think people should be offended by things like that. That doesnt mean that you cant or wont get offended. I just say that I'm not confined, I get out of it frequently. Then I get the "you know what I mean." No, not really. That is an inaccurate and out dated term, would you like to call me a cripple too? No, I just like to give people crap when they say stuff like that, and then educate them on how I like to be addressed and what is more polite and PC. I like to keep the people with the times, ya know. Don't sweat the small stuff. One of my favorites is when I'm asked How I got in my wheelchair or what put me in the chair. I will then step by step tell them how I put myself in my chair this morning by lifting my ass off of the bed and then placing it ever so gently in the seat, then I lift up each foot and place it on my footplate... Be patient with the ABs they dont know what they're saying most of the time. I know I din't know any of this before I got hurt.

Tiger Racing

01-17-2007, 03:03 AM

The point of my post was that confinement is a strong word.
Yeah, I get that now. In fact, I got that in your second post, but it wasn't clear in your first one.

I don't think ill of people who use it without thinking, but I do wish they would consider the power of their words in shaping the perception of wheelers.
Do you realize that we agree on this point?

I do find it condescending that you would find the need to explain to me that there might be legitimate reasons to secure a person into a wheelchair.
I'm sorry you find it that way, but I'm fairly certain that I have explained that I had no such intention. In light of some recent threads, I thought it important to make note of the fact that individual circumstances vary. Doing so wasn't meant to be a slight against you. I would hope that in future you would ask for clarification instead of taking offense at something you think I've said.

To satisfy your curiosity...
Why, thank you. I hope clarifying and expanding on an experience that you yourself brought up wasn't too much trouble for you.

No, I no longer have occasion to witness such happenings.
That much is good to hear.

C.

Ozymandias

01-17-2007, 03:15 AM

Five.

starlightangel

01-17-2007, 04:23 PM

it is categorically impossible to be confined to a mode of transportation. nobody ever refers to "confined to a car".

doingtimeonmyass

01-17-2007, 07:19 PM

"Confined to a wheelchair" doesn't bother me, although I don't recall anybody ever saying that in reference to me personally. It's interesting some of the points members have brought up. I never have liked the G. word, (gimp). I heard one quad call another that and it just sounded stupid to me.

My wife's parents came to visit one year and I ended up going to church with them. I left first and someone behind me ask my mother-in-law how I ended up being disabled. She later told me the story and told the man how I broke my neck and that I was, "paralyzed for life". That phrase struck me as kind of odd. I do believe I will be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life however, to hear someone else use those words was a little depressing.

Sue Pendleton

01-17-2007, 08:39 PM

it is categorically impossible to be confined to a mode of transportation. nobody ever refers to "confined to a car".

I always figured if you cannot get out of the chair without help you are confined. I was rudely disabused of that idea by my 8 month old 60 pound and growing golden/lab mix 2 weeks ago. That cute puppy gave me the choice of diving face first into wet and cold weeds or break a finger or 2 hanging on and winning a battle for supremacy in the "train your own service dog" wars. I broke a finger, won the battle, the feral cat will be at a sort and whatever animal control place as soon as we catch it so we don't have to find out exactly how fast I can be unconfined in the future.

Personally, deep down, the only thing that gets to me is "physically challenged". This ain't K2 or I would have climbed that molehill 13 years ago.

Tiger Racing

01-17-2007, 09:13 PM

it is categorically impossible to be confined to a mode of transportation. nobody ever refers to "confined to a car".
Heh. Good point.

C.

porchdog

01-18-2007, 01:40 PM

I suppose for me to think of someone "confined to a wheelchair" I would have to answer the question: Do you ever leave home without it?

RehabRhino

01-18-2007, 01:50 PM

I'm both confined and liberated by mine.

Couldn't care less how it's talked about

Foolish Old

01-18-2007, 01:57 PM

Just returned from a meeting where a representative of the Fish & Wildlife Service talked about making more of their facilities accessible to the "wheelchair bound". I guess some feel a chair can be a destination as well as a mode of transportation! lol

wheelz99

01-18-2007, 04:20 PM

let's count the terms and get them out there. invalid - crippled - handicapped - confined to a wheelchair - paralyzed - disabled - physically challenged - mobility impaired - differently abled (this one is my favorite because it's obvious they're running out of ideas)

i suppose it's time for a new one so we can retire the last one as offensive.

most people mean well and they just don't know any better. and people treat you the way you command to be treated. a few out-dated terms aren't going to change anything. those words are never going away. i always leaned toward leading by example of what i can do even though i'm "confined" to a wheelchair for life. lol. whenever i hear anything like that (which is almost never), i don't pay it any mind so if has no ripple effect in my world.