View Full Version : Sex at School Increasing, Some Educators Say
Sex at School Increasing, Some Educators Say
By Tara Bahrampour and Ian Shapira
Washington Post Staff Writers
Sunday, November 6, 2005; C01
Perhaps the most shocking thing about students having sex in a high school auditorium was that other students didn't find it very shocking at all.
"I glanced over and, whatever, I just let him continue on with his business," said a 16-year-old linebacker on the Osbourn High School football team who, along with a friend, stumbled upon a couple engaging in oral sex. "I stayed for five to eight minutes, just talking. We weren't worried about it. When the janitor came in, everyone started running."
Manassas school officials weren't as laid back. The students -- eight in all -- were quickly identified and suspended, and the matter prompted the small school system to confront an issue many adults would rather not face: in this case, two girls and three boys engaging in oral sex or intercourse on school property while three other boys watched, according to sources familiar with what happened.
"In all the years that I've been in education, I've never run into this one before," said John Boronkay, the school system's acting superintendent. "It's a new one."
Actually, it's not so new. According to some teenagers, sex on school property is more frequent than adults might imagine. And some adults who work with teenagers said it's happening more often these days.
There's anecdotal evidence to support that:
Two students were discovered recently having sex in an Anne Arundel County high school gym. Four students at Col. Zadok Magruder High in Rockville were arrested in June after performing sex acts in the school parking lot. A boy and a girl at Springbrook High in Silver Spring were caught "touching inappropriately" in a school bathroom. Last year, three teenage boys at Mount Hebron High in Howard County were arrested after a student accused them of sexually assaulting her in a school restroom, but charges were dropped after the boys said the sex was consensual and the girl recanted.
"Students would have intercourse on the stairwells, locked classrooms, in the locker rooms," said Ihsan Musawwir, 18, a recent graduate of Dunbar Senior High School in the District. "It was embarrassing for me to walk in on it."
Jessica Miller, 19, who graduated in June from T.C. Williams High School in Alexandria, said that for some students there, sex on campus is a popular fantasy -- and sometimes a reality -- particularly in the auditorium.
"It's so big, it's so dark," Miller said. "There's a lot more places to find privacy -- behind the stage and on the catwalk."
11-08-2005, 10:30 PM
I don't know, teens having sex just doesn't ruffle my feathers. Up until about 1910 the average life expectency was around 35 y/o. So if you started having kids in your teens you'd have what was considered a normal family unit all pulling together for the common good.
As life expectancey has grown the expectation that sexual behavior should be delayed has crept in and somehow taken over. It is also prudent to note that a female's best suited to have children when she's in her teens and from what I've read the optimal years begin at 14. Obviously anyone suggesting having sex with a 14 y/o in this day and age is soon to be living behind bars and I'm not saying myself or anyone else beyond the age of 18 should. It is difficult to culturally say "this is wrong" when biologically it isn't.
Seeing that sex is a biologic instinct programmed in each of us, it's often difficult to explain the cultural stigma to a group of young adults with raging hormones and erections that abstinance is the right or best thing to do.
I don't see the need to constantly preach that teens shouldn't have sex. I think they should and I think we can do a much better job of explaining the nuances of both male and female genitals in sex ed in school.
Both men and women begin their sexual oddessy completely unaware of the oppossing equipment. About all that is known is one gets hard and the other gets wet. Beyond that it's all a great mystery.
When I was young the fear of getting a gal friend pregnant was perpetual. It was to be considered the greatest failure any young person could endure if they were to be involved in an early unplanned pregnancy. I see this completely differently after having my son. Had I known how much fucking fun it is to have a child, I would have done it many years ago. I was fortunate to have had him before my injury. He was 9 months old when I was paralyzed. I was hoping to have more and still plan to, but I guess what I'm ultimately saying is even teen pregnancy is a blessing once all the wailing and doom saying is over. The dynamics of a young parent necessitates the need for greater influence and guidance from more senior friends and relatives, but it is not the end of the world as is often the stigma attached to such a scenario.
Kids are a gift and grandkids are a blessing.
I've found that families that are traumatized by an early pregnancy in their family are often times families that have members with emotional unavailability issues.
I say teach them how the equipment works, rethink the crap we're laying on them about their sexuality so they don't go into adulthood all hung up and filled with insecurities and let them take their course.
I can think of many days back in highschool when a good BJ would have made it much easier to concentrate. It would have made getting out of bed to go to school a much more enthusiastic ordeal...:thumbsup:
So we as humans are biologically at our peak for procreation at the very age we as a society are trying to convince those in that age group that it's the morally and responsibly wrong thing to do. I liked chicks at that age, I had sex at that age and I knew anyone that said it was wrong was full of crap.
I still talk to the chick I used to have sex with back then. We're great friends. What we find most hysterical about the sex we had was how awful we were at it...
when i was in school yet, i was one of the few who were picky and didn't run around having sex like the world was ending.
however, that also put me in the group of the morbidly obese and the poor girls who have mutton chops thicker than the guys'. :mdramatic
11-09-2005, 04:55 PM
Personally I don't think anyone should have a child before they are emotionally ready but more importantly today "financially" able to support it. And that means waiting until they get a good education so they can get a decent, well paying job.
If a 14 year old girl wants to have a baby AND her family doesn't mind and can and will assume ALL financial responsibility then it's none of my business. But nothing is going to guarantee that girl growing up poor than her getting pregnant out of wedlock before the age of around 23, not finishing high school and getting in a few years of college. And it's really up to the girl. A lot of the guys just spread their sperm all over the damn place, produce a bunch of babies, leave the girl alone so they can hangout with their buds and let the taxpayers assume responsibility for their kids. It's a big deal for some of these sperm donors to buy a damn bag of Pampers for their baby(ies). Sickening.
If kids want to have sex, fine. But they must use protection (condoms & oral/injected birth control) against pregancy and the life-long afflicting STDs like Herpes, Hepatitus A-Z and of course HIV/AIDS.
Jerking off was good enough for me until I was 16. :)
Just because it feels good doesn't mean it should be done. Drugs feel good too and it's human nature (thus natural) to want our minds and bodies to feel good but I wouldn't advise anyone to illicitly (especially the young) use them!
Your liberal mindset on this topic surprises me Moe. Put that damn vibrating Magic Wand down for a few minutes and clear your mind! :)
11-09-2005, 08:48 PM
I agree Moe........100%
11-10-2005, 12:06 AM
i'm not stating my opinion either way on the teenage sex thing.... BUT also keep in mind that humans in our day and age are physically maturing (hitting puberty) at a my younger age due to steroids in food, etc...
there is also a huge issue with girls starting there periods WAY young... I'm talking 8-9 years old... and developing physically, too...because of the chemicals/steroids in foods.
I think that all of these things.. to include sex being the #1 advertising point on EVERYTHING on TV, radio, etc, these days... well, let's just say that I'm not really surprised to hear about kids doing it in stupidly public places (and socially disrespectful)...
I'm not one for single mother pregnancy at a super young age... only because i think kids should be able to be kids before they are raising their but that is my own personal decision, not one that i would use to judge others... we all choose (and as many of you know) and not choose our paths... how we deal with it is what makes us a worthy person or not...
BUT, I agree with Moe on the concept that we (americans in general) need to get out of this puritan (my words/oppinions, not his) mindset and educate our children so that they can make smarter more educated decisions with the facts, not teenage rumors (ie 'if we don't do it, i'll get blue balls' etc). I wouldn't want some teenage boy convincing my daughter to have sex with him through lies when as her parent i can educate her and 1. make a bond, so that if something happens she knows that i won't lie to her AND 2. she can come to me if something happens that she isn't comfortable with... that i could/would never be conditional in our relationship. I feel that if this kind of honesty with my kids makes me blush and is difficult, well, suck it up as a parent and do it... it's not for your modesty, it's for your children's well-being... BUT i grew up in a family where they believed that children can be innocent, but that doesn't mean that they need to be naive. Naivete can get your daughters raped...
I'll apologize ahead of time if this came off as soapbox preaching... not my intention. My parents (and I) just felt strongly about educating their kids on this (and many other) topics.
11-13-2005, 03:56 PM
Cali, it must have been pretty tough keeping the guys at bay. How'd you fight em off? You're hot, it had to have been difficult...
I agree Bob it's much better for the parents to be to have some experience (maturity) under their belts before having kids. Having said that, if the situation arises where a teen sneaks one by the goalie and a young pregnancy results it's not the end of world. It's an opportunity.
I'd much prefer my daughter wait till she's in her mid to late twenties before having kids, but if it turned out it happened much sooner than that it would only mean our lives would become a bit more busy. We as the grandparents would have to step up and play a bigger role in the early stages so as to help out if the daughter wanted to finish college. The assistance the daughter would need isn't really an imposition if the grandparents are emotionally available. The grandparents should be thrilled to have such a gift.
Life is always busy. Life is always complex. Life is never fair. There is never a right time to have kids, there may be a better time but you'll never know when that is till it's past (usually).
I also agree with Bob that men shouldn't be out knocking up several different women and taking no responsibility for their actions. Beyond it being morally reprehensible, the kids pay a tremendous price as they're saddled with many negative self image issues resulting from the lack of the father's physical and emotional availability.
I'm not a "pro lifer", it's none of my business what a gal decides to do should she find herself pregnant. I do think that her parents should step up and support her should she decide to have it and embrace it with all the love a human can
muster. In retrospect if I'd have had kids earlier I now know it wouldn't have ruined my life, which is exactly the dogma that was preached at the time.
I also agree that education is key. It's vital to keep that line of communication open and comfortable. Try like hell to avoid shaming your kids. All it does is weaken them. If they've gotten into something that's beyond their capabilities it's up to you as their parent to step up and guide them through it.
I dunno, I just don't see how it's "unreasonable" for teens to be knocking the boots...