Help with marriage proposal ideas!

[JayColorado]

I need help coming up with a great and memorable way to propose to my girlfriend. I had a cousin propose by cutting "marry me Sarah" and then pointing down to it while they were skydiving. I've had friends propose on top of mountains, the Eiffel Tower, in Rome, and with the traditional getting down on one knee at a fancy restaurant. Being a new C5/6 quad, my options are limited.

Marrige proposals are something that are remembered for a long time. I'd like to come up with something original, but if someone has a great idea I'm going to use it.

So, all you Muses and hopeless romantics out there, please chime in and help a guy out!

Thanks CC!

Jay

~"Go Big or Go Home"

[Jesse's Mom]

http://www.firstdance.com/mp2.htm

There are some cute ones in there. You might want to read through and change a few things to be more original, but you might find something that would work. The one about having someone in a parade bring you the ring or someone on the stage at a concert saying something was really different. But just so anyone on here doesnt give you or me the lecture about doing it your own way, it would be more romantic thingie, I think you could easily change any of the ideas listed to be more your style. Good luck !

[CowboyCrip]

Seriously, you are only 5 months into this SCI thing and every couple will tell you there is a "I don't care. I'll love him and take care of him forever." denial stage. Then the reality sets in. With SCI, you and your S.O. will discover that things get worse before they get better.

Things will get better... I think any Quad vet. will tell you it was at least 3 to 5 years before you adapt.

You have so much more healing, rehab and adjusting to do.

I think you and her will regret taking such a serious step so soon.

Just work on loving and supporting one another as gf/bf for now.

I don't want to empty a leg bag on anyone's corn flakes, but that is just MHO.

Best regards and good luck.

[JayColorado]

CowboyCrip,

Thanks for the advice, and I've heard others echo the same sentiments. Part of me thinks that I shouldn't really defend my decision, but I wanted to say a few things about our situation. My girlfriend and I lived together before my accident. We weren't really interested in marriage at the time, because we felt it was a bit of a societal construct. I guess I take has changed, but our relationship really hasn't. I have to say that I think I'm doing pretty well all things considered. I'm not depressed and I do foresee a very positive future for my life. I guess what really comes down to is that every relationship is different. There are definitely a smattering of new challenges for us as a couple that come along with my SCI, but I don't see these as harder than I challenges that every married couple will face. It's all about evolving within the context of the relationship.

J.

[graybeard]

Hey Jay.....Congrats on your commitment to her. However, I believe you do need to make certain the both of ya'll is ready for what will be a lifetime of hard work. I agree with CowboyCrip. A lotta changing gonna be happening over the next years. I am 6 months post T 7/8 inc., and I've had HUGE changes since busting outta the hospital. I think what would really be important imo is to show her great love, hard work in rehab and at home. I think maybe she should see how determined you are to do for yourself,and that she won't need to carry the heavy load. What CowboyCrip sez is true,very true. You are right that we dont know the real situation between your lucky lady and you. Only ya'll do. And maybe I'm totally full of crap and am worring way too much here. Its just that I saw a lot of heartache in the hospital as people came to grips with the enormous reality of what it takes to care for wheelers. But, still, if ya reckon its "go" time,then the very best of luck to the both of ya'll. Gotta post wedding pics also. Take care,John

[Moody]

Anyway you do it will be special. Go by your heart.

[Cspine]

the most meaningful and memorable way to propose is a way only you would think of.

[JayColorado]

Man, you people are rough, but luckily I think I haven't figured out. I'll let everyone know how it goes! Wish me luck.:applaud:

[Jesse's Mom]

Well, tell us. How did it go?

[JayColorado]

I'm still working on getting the ring. Her parents are coming out from New York (to Denver) at the end of the month, so I might do it then. I will definitely let you know how it goes!

[Chris Chappell]

Jay - good luck with your decision / method. Maybe a sports venue / scoreboard / banner idea given that you live in CO?

Whatever you decide, besides what CC and GB said which I agree with, imho I don't think any guy ab'd or dis should get married before 30. Your 20's are such a time of emotional change, growth and maturity that often what you thought was rock solid "for life" at 25 is not necessarily the same at 30+. This applies to many, many things in life but particularly relationships, both love, friendship and business.

Hey, I'm an old fart so you may just want to ignore me altogether. ;)

[HikerBabe]

Jay~ best of luck to you guys if you've already proposed. But if you haven't yet, I've got one important question for ya...Is SHE really ready for this? I'd have to agree with CowboyCrip and Graybeard, but want to throw out another opinion from the able-bodied woman's perspective. I really care about my guy (c 5-6 sci) deeply, but there are a lot of confused thoughts running around in my head. We're young (both 24) and I frequently think about how different my life would be if we were married. After my guy realized I was having such doubts, he really started to lay the love on thick, constantly telling me how much he loved me, how I'm the best thing that has ever happened to him, etc. Obviously women don't mind hearing that sort of thing;), but we want to hear it b/c you really feel that way and NOT because you're afraid of losing us. I don't doubt that you and your gf really care about each other, but make sure she has time to adjust to these changes too. Unless you are sure SHE is ready too, maybe you should give it some time? If you really feel your relationship will last, there is no hurry:)

[MarySopchak]

I'm the girlfriend (now fiancee!) in all of this, and while I can appreciate the words of wisdom from CC and GB (and a few others), I think this is the best thing for JayColorado and me. We were at that place before the accident. Things are tough now, we're not kidding ourselves, but even with all the change that's happening because of the injury, some things stay the same, like how we feel about each other and how we support each other. We have different challenges than most couples, but I don't see us as very different from AB couples. Except that maybe we communicate better than most.

We're not suddenly getting married because he's afraid of losing me, or because I want to prove that I'm devoted to him, or for any other reason other than that we love each other.

Sometimes you just know it's right...

[Chris Chappell]

Good luck Mary & Jay :)

[HikerBabe]

Congrats Mary and JayColorado!! How exciting :applaud:

Mary, hope I didn't offend you. I wasn't trying to discourage Jay, just wanted to give him another perspective. Obviously he knew the right thing to do:)

So back to the point of the thread~ the proposal. He hasn't posted how he did it?!

[JayColorado]

Okay, here's the whole story for anyone who cares. About two months ago I started looking for rings with my friend Kindra. I knew Mary wanted a Ruby, rather than a diamond, so we went out searching for a setting that I liked, and after we found one I proceeded to search for the Ruby. In the midst of calling back and forth with the jewelry store, Mary heard the beginning of a message from the jeweler. I needed a way to throw her off the trail, so I bought her necklace from the jeweler and gave it to her. My misdirection was successful!

Yesterday the jeweler finally finished putting the setting together with the ring and resizing the band. My dad picked it up and brought it home on his lunch break for me. I knew it was going to be finished that day, so I mentioned to Mary in the morning that I want to take my service dog Rocky for a walk that afternoon. The ring box was placed in my dogs backpack, and we went on our walk. We strolled up the street about a half-mile from our house, where there's a beautiful view of the Rocky Mountains. I asked Mary and to look in Rocky's backpack, and she pulled out the ring box. I told her that I loved her and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Then I asked her if she would marry me and she said yes.:applaud:

It wasn't exactly the grandiose proposal that I was trying to plan, but it was just right for us. Besides that, I'm not very good at waiting so once I had the ring I had to give it to her right away!

[Liz321]

Mazel Tov!!!

[CurlieQCarrie]

Awwww!!! Congrats you two!

[trikestrel]

Conratulations ! I am a hopeless romantic and have been anxiously waiting to see what happened. You are very lucky to have each other. Happiness to you both !:love2:

[JayColorado]

I posted this thread quite sometime ago, and I got a lot of negative reaction. I completely understand where this is coming from, but just because there's a good chance that it might not work out doesn't mean you should give it a shot. I think there happens to be a pretty darn good chance that it will work out. So far so good...

If you want you can check out our wedding website.

MaryandJustin.com

Cheers,
Justin

[lynnifer]

I missed this thread from before! Beautiful ring .. and a beautiful couple .. congrats!

(I always dreamed of the airplane towing the sign thing lol .. and like you non-traditional, sapphires for my wedding ring!) Not that anyone's asking .. or will ask .. :zombie:

[Kristi]

Congrats Justin and Mary!!

Beautiful ring and sounds like the PERFECT place for a proposal!! Keep us posted on the wedding details!!

[FreeBird]

I bet your GF would appreciate it more. Anyway good luck to yah!

[betheny]

I missed it too, but I'm glad I've seen it. I love how you designed the ring just for her. It's beautiful, yall are beautiful too. I hope you'll tell us many happy stories. Best of luck!

[betheny]

http://www.maryandjustin.com/faq.htm

I have to post the FAQ's from this couple's wedding website. Never seen this done before, it's cool, funny and all-around excellent.

Hope it's okay for me to share your stuff, guys.



**********************************

Here are the answers to some common questions in order to keep the well-informed prior to the wedding.

Q: Is Mary going to take Justin's last name?
A: Yes, but only to avoid the dreaded hyphenated name. She will not be adopting Sopchak as a new middle name either. She is considering getting car license plates that read "SOPCHAK".

Q: What exactly is "black-tie optional"?
A: A black suit is great for men; a tux is completely optional. A dark or neutral colored tie is fine. Women who opt to wear a dress should lean toward the fancy side, but a formal, floor skimming dress is not necessary; a little black cocktail dress or pantsuit is perfect.

Q: Do I have to wear black or white?
A: If you already have it in your wardrobe, then we would greatly appreciate it. If you don’t have black or white, please try for a color that is close; like dark blue, cream, dark brown, etc. Outfits that are mostly black or white are fine too, but please stay away from bright floral prints.

Q: Why aren't all family members invited to the wedding?
A: Our budget didn't allow for us to invite all of our families (+100!) so we have opted instead to invite them each to visit us for a weekend. That way, we will be able to spend quality time with them.


Q: Will Rocky be at the wedding?
A: Yes.

Q: Will Rocky be the ring bearer?
A: No.

Q: Will Rocky be in a tux?
A: Currently under debate. Please vote now!

Q: Where are you going on your honeymoon?
A: We're going on a road trip through Napa Valley with our Best Man, Scott Miller and Maid of Honor, Kindra Menegay (they're engaged - how convenient)!

Q: Can we drink during your ceremony?
A: Sure!

Q: When are you going to have kids?
A: Never. Rocky is enough for us. Well, we ARE considering a second dog...

Q: Why isn't Mary wearing a white wedding dress?
A: Mary likes red. Her wedding ring has a ruby in it, and the dress will match. Also, she would like to wear the dress again and a formal white dress is hard to pull off unless you're the bride.
Little known fact:
White became a tradition only with Queen Victoria, before then many brides wore a variety of colors. A red dress is considered good luck in Chinese culture, for example.

Q: Why are you having a bagpiper when you're not even Irish/Scottish?
A: Bagpipers are cool.

[michaelricky]

Best wishes. Sometimes it's a leap of faith.

Better to have leaped and risk failure than to have never leaped at all.

I wish you two all the best.

A few words of advise......she is your WIFE first and foremost, NOT your caregiver. You must have other help to do routine care for you. I guarantee your marriage will fail if she is your primary caregiver.

[Lizbv]

Very cool how you incorporated your service dog in your proposal!:)
Best Wishes to both of you!

p.s. I'm having trouble viewing your website :(

[sjean423]

Best Wishes!

[LaMemChose]

You guys are such a kewl couple! Best wishes to you. :)

[Cripply]

I missed this thread from before! Beautiful ring .. and a beautiful couple .. congrats!

(I always dreamed of the airplane towing the sign thing lol .. and like you non-traditional, sapphires for my wedding ring!) Not that anyone's asking .. or will ask .. :zombie:

I like aquamarines in white gold, but got a microscopic zirconium purchased by my future mother in law. I held back tears. My husband has since then been showering me with aquamarines.
Have you seen how they shine under the sun?

THIS THREAD IS VERY ROMANTIC! Congrats

[Jadis]

I knew Mary wanted a Ruby, rather than a diamond, so we went out searching for a setting that I liked, and after we found one I proceeded to search for the Ruby.

I originally wanted a sapphire instead of a diamond. My thinking was they were less expensive and I am so hard on my jewelry, I was afraid I would knock the diamond out. My birth mom has lost her diamond multiple times. I spent entirely too much of my youth crawling on my hands and knees checking the carpet for her rock. I didn't want the same to happen to me. Well, as it turned out, the good sapphires cost just as much as the diamonds!

We went to the jeweler to window shop (we do the same for houses and cars--look like we are buying to get ideas, so the marriage thing wasn't a realistic expectation in my mind). While trying on rings to get an idea of shape/size that would look good on me we came across this pear-shaped solitaire that was gorgeous. Size/shape was perfect. I told Boog a mental note to remember was that type of ring. Little did I know that in less than a week it would be on my finger.

It wasn't exactly the grandiose proposal that I was trying to plan, but it was just right for us. Besides that, I'm not very good at waiting so once I had the ring I had to give it to her right away!

Ours wasn't either, but it worked for us. Me, Boog and our son in the attic sitting on the floor. I was printing out resumes and had my back to them. I heard Boog ask D if it was ok if he married his mom. D said it was, as long as they could still do cool guy things. I was grinning to myself bc they've had this conversation before. Well, when I turned around both of them were side by side on one knee with the ring box open in Boogs hand. I collapsed to the floor and sat with them. Ended up in a group hug with the tears flowing. D gave me a lucky penny after Boog gave me the ring. That penny is still in the ring box.

Congratulations to the two of you!!! That ring is beautiful!! Cheers to being another nontraditional couple (our wedding was somewhat untraditional too. The pastor that married us six years ago is a patient of mine and still talks about our unique wedding ceremony.)

Keep us filled in on the wedding planning if you feel like it. I love reading that kinda stuff!!:applaud: :applaud: :applaud:

[jayday9]

Congrats Jay :thumb: