hi im 29 and looking for buds

[kimpewter]

im a canadian female.
im interested in finding a new friend, with the possiblilty of more.
im able bodied and have been here before.
id like to meet someone intelligent, interesting, honest, and fun.
quick wit is so bonus.
if ud like to know more my email is...
kimpewter@yahoo.com

.

[This message was edited by cjo on 01-17-04 at 12:25 PM.]

.

[This message was edited by cjo on 01-17-04 at 12:24 PM.]

[kimpewter]

owe me one what?
u remembered me and never emailed me?
y do i smell funny?
and ur question...
i cant answer that.
oh yes i can.
no its not.
haha

[PB72181]

People like you are sick, you know that? "Serious attraction to para legs"...geez. Well I'm glad you think my situation is so attractive and amusing. *rolls eyes*

Don't piss me off or I'll run over your toes. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[kimpewter]

so does that mean we cant hook up?

[kimpewter]

and i said nothing about amusing.
wouldnt wish ur sitch on anyone.
but im attracted to what im attracted to.
u no like u no respond.
ciao.

[christopher]

What a coincidence! I'm a Canadian male and I like girls too! Where do you live, Kim?

[kimpewter]

nova scotia.

[christopher]

Well, its closer than Vancouver. I hitched to Bridgewater once, back in the hazy, crazy days of youth.

[Cspine]

hey kimpewter! i just read all the misterhappyshorts posts and i think you've been misunderstood. i undertand your attraction. i have a special attraction to chicks in chairs. someone in a chair has to go through pain, suffering, and humility to an extent most people can't imagine. being strong enough to go through this daily and remain sexy, independant, and mentally secure is very rare and VERY attractive. 'para legs' are just a physical representation of that. ladies, ever find a military guy with a scar and tat sexy? same thing. am i right kimp?

The more you dissaprove the more fun it is for me.

[kimpewter]

i dont know y im attracted.
i just know im open about it all and its the way it is.
y fight it?
im not hurting anyone so whatever.

[zillah]

Originally posted by cspine:

hey kimpewter! i just read all the misterhappyshorts posts and i think you've been misunderstood. i undertand your attraction. i have a special attraction to chicks in chairs. someone in a chair has to go through pain, suffering, and humility to an extent most people can't imagine. being strong enough to go through this daily and remain sexy, independant, and mentally secure is very rare and VERY attractive. 'para legs' are just a physical representation of that. ladies, ever find a military guy with a scar and tat sexy? same thing. am i right kimp?

The more you dissaprove the more fun it is for me.

you're absouletly right.... my "bf" is c7 complete (my attraction doesn't discriminate against quads http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif) I like paras too.. I don't think I'm "sick" for this? I just think SCI'd people make the best lovers... I'm well aware of what I need to make me happy and my "bf", and well he (good friend w/ benefits) takes good care of me http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif and I him. I never knew true intimacy til I was with him...so now I find myself extremely attracted to SCI, wheelchairs, etc - I think I enjoy playing caretaker too... http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif that might be a factor in this as well.. I'm not too sure to be honest. I try not analyzing it too much... Just wanted to add to the discussion ....and oh btw my good friend w/ benefits knows very much of my attraction and thinks there's nothing wrong with it..or me for that matter! so not all "devotees" are nuts http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif

[zillah]

Originally posted by kimpewter:

i dont know y im attracted.
i just know im open about it all and its the way it is.
y fight it?
im not hurting anyone so whatever.
Amen Sistah! LOL http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif

.

[This message was edited by cjo on 01-17-04 at 12:24 PM.]

[marie2]

"I think I enjoy playing caretaker too..."

Gee Whiz... too bad we all can't "play" caretaker.

[marie2]

...and quit when we want. new game anyone?

[zillah]

Oh lighten up... I hope to someday "play" caregiver and so much more FOR GOOD, one day...when I meet Mr. Right http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

[Andy]

Hey, you still open to that offer I made a few months back about a 3 some including some barnyard animals in the mix as well? Well, actually the gf didnt think you were something she would want to explore same sex physical relationships with, but I am still game. How about you, me, a donkey, and a sheepdog get a little freaky sometime? Get yo sweet sweet bootay down to Chicago sometime and we'll hook up! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/tongue.gif Oh and zillah, dear zillah, I knew there was something odd about you, this thread confirmed my suspicions.http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[joshstevens7]

I understand that everyone is different on what turns them on and it is OK as long as you dont get into a relationship with someone in a wheelchair and when they walk again, dump them cause you want them to stay in a wheelchair. i would love to find someone who doesnt mind the wheelchair to someone who loves me being in it, but wouldnt want to be worried if they will stay with me when i get out. Its all about who the person is inside that matters, but yes, physical attraction is what usually starts the relationship. Im still a damn great lookin guy and will not have problems dating again, i just want them to get to know me on the inside than the out.

Josh Stevens
T6 para as of 7/17/03

"Nobody's perfect...til you fall in love with them!"

"People respect you as a leader when you show you are grounded" msn horoscope

[zillah]

JoshS... Of course I'd stay around and would much rather my mate not be injured IF that was an option...but obviously it's not. I'm attracted to men (women too) with confidence and that are emotionally and mentally stronger than I... also in my experience SCI guys seem a lot more open and a lot less judgemental ...qualities I Love *Oh so much*!!! There's more to it than just him being in a wheelchair... but thats certainly a factor in the initial attraction. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif
Andy hmmm thanks... I'll take that as a compliment...rather be "odd" anyday of the week..over being some "bore" http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

PS - Its nice to know not all folks are close minded http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/tongue.gif

Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmm

*gags*

MoodyMcMoody

[zillah]

Originally posted by MoodyMcMoody:

Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmm

*gags*

MoodyMcMoody
What do you find so repulsive? I don't understand what the "problem" is with MY sexual preferences..why it seems to bother OTHER people http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/confused.gif

[KiranA]

Zillah,

I don't think you're completely foreign to the whole "devo" debate that is always alive and fresh at CC.

The fact of the matter is, most of us would rather find people who are attracted to us as the individual, and not be attracted to the fact that we are in chairs.

It's offensive because it depersonalizes the individual. It's kinda like saying that a guy only dates a chick cuz she's a blonde, and not because of her personality, or what she has to offer him in life.

I'm not positive what your situation is, so I'm not going to comment on it. Just providing further clarification.

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." - Oscar Wilde

[Andy]

Originally posted by zillah:

I find myself extremely attracted to SCI, wheelchairs, etc - )

Well, since this character came out of the blue and decided to make pot shots at me in other threads...I'm game for now. Oh zillah, here zillah. Get the vibrator, I have something that turns you on, now get yo' freak on! Maybe you and that guy Anusbus that came through here before can get together for this one. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/tongue.gif Sicko.

yeah, what globe said!

Andy, lol, now its a porn site? I thought it was just a devo meet and greet.

MoodyMcMoody

[zillah]

Wow, Andy! That was fucking great!!!!!!!!!!! *sigh* Thanks for providing me with material! Oh baby was that great ....hmmm yeah anyways it always the person that I'm attracted too along with their personality.. I need some depth! I've just happen to find myself attracted to quite a few guys that happened to be in chairs (and NOW much rather be with a guy that was...but I do date AB's too)...never was an issue...so I dont mind being called a "devo" - it certainly isnt just an attraction with their chair...so it's not a fetish!
~ Me

[zillah]

if it were simply a chair that turned me on than there would be no need for me to want to meet new friends http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif I think the intimacy one can share w/ someone w a SCI is indeed a higher level of intimacy...intimacy you typically NEVER find w/ ABs - as most don't see beyond the surface in many respects!

anyways thanks Globechaser for your responce..I appreciate the fact that you didn't resort to name calling and such http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

[chasb]

Some of you here are coming on pretty strong without proof. Obviously, if you can prove it thats another thing. Andy your chair looks to be in good shape. Send it right along, I'll put it to good use.

Some of you here are coming on pretty strong without proof. Obviously, if you can prove it thats another thing. Andy your chair looks to be in good shape. Send it right along, I'll put it to good use.

Proof of what???????

MoodyMcMoody

[november]

Originally posted by cjo:

Originally posted by misterhappyshorts:
hey!
im looking to talk to males from mid 20's to mid 30's.
im interested in boys who r witty, fun, creative, honest, and open.
its nice if they can be silly yet know when to be sensible.
im a really super decent girl and i have a serious attraction to para legs.
hope i dont offend too many of u all with my openness, but its true.
and im not about to hide it.
so hey...
my email is kimpewter@yahoo.com
hope to hear from someone with the above qualities soon.
take care.

I probably owe you one, Kim. Thanks.
What's she owe you??? http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/eek.gif

Oh, good investigative skills. You should work undercover detective http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif

[kimpewter]

id agree with the investigative skills if i didnt use my email address in all posts.
its funny that u ppl here and on new mobility think ur blowin my cover or something by showing old posts ive made.
i openly will tell u all everywhere ive posted any day.
i challenge u all to find the name i used on nm when i first started.
that would be good investigative skills.
haha.

[Andy]

But getting back to the point, are you ready for the donkey and sheepdog act? If necessary we can throw a wheelchair in the mix, I have one with a real nice armrest that fits oh so right!

[mattblan]

I don't have a problem with devotees as long as the disabled person knows what they are getting into. I felt like I owed it to you to say that.

[zillah]

When someone thats attracted/ has a strong preference towards blondes/ brunettes/ redheads, etc actually dates one...do they obsess over the fact they are with one? No...
same with devotees, etc. it's not some "sick" obsession...simply a preference! and for devotees' they are "pro-cure" ..whereas when it's a fetish...they aren't ...they need the dis, or equitment ...just thought I'd add that much http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Steven Edwards]

Originally posted by zillah:

and for devotees' they are "pro-cure" ..whereas when it's a fetish...they aren't ...they need the dis, or equitment ...just thought I'd add that much http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif Thanks for the clarification on that... always wondered about it.

-Steven

.

[This message was edited by cjo on 01-17-04 at 12:23 PM.]

[Shaun]

Hey Kim how much do you weigh? No fat chicks eh! If your anything like that picture of fun on Andy's lap give me a call http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif..

''In a world called catastrope my native tongue is blasphomy''

[zillah]

Devo's arent out to hurt anyone.... they need lovin' too! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif

I read the other post zillah, make the world a better place? Do you think your loving disabled folks is a public service?

MoodyMcMoody

[zillah]

Originally posted by MoodyMcMoody:

I read the other post zillah, make the world a better place? Do you think your loving disabled folks is a public service?

MoodyMcMoody
No, Not at all... that was tongue-in-cheek http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif I think a fair comparison of a devo...would be like a rock star groupie? same thing, almost http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

.

[This message was edited by cjo on 01-17-04 at 12:22 PM.]

[zillah]

cjo, perhaps you shouldn't make such ASSumptions? I have yet to see anything posted that could be considered "twisted". When did tolerance become a one-way street? http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/confused.gif
Well, have a wonderful day =)

[chick]

Originally posted by zillah:

I think a fair comparison of a devo...would be like a rock star groupie? same thing, almost http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif Rock star groupies (or any type groupie)=
*Low-Self Esteem
*Wanna-be of what they are groupie of/following
*Living vicariously through the others (ques:do
they have a life that is THEIR OWN?

...same thing, almost? http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif

[zillah]

Chick -- more like "almost, NOT quite" but good attempt I'll give ya that!

[chick]

BTW...
Hiya Happyshorts!!!!!!!

glad to see ya back with a new advertisment! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gifSorry the last one didn't help you. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/frown.gif
Perhaps a pic woulda helped to sell yourself??? ya know, there are many programs that can help fix any flaws you might be ashamed of http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

Hopefully, you won't need to go through the trouble AGAIN to create a new name/identity to pick up men http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif And you'd think the guys would be all ova you given a near guaranteed fuck! ahh *sigh*

http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif

[Shaun]

Hey Chick! How much do you weigh http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

''In a world called catastrope my native tongue is blasphomy''

[chick]

"..pantiless clown"

ROFLMFAO!! OMG CJO!! Just saw this as I scrolled...I'm still laughing as I'm typing! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/tongue.gif

and, Shaun, I'm a healthy 289.7 lbs. that sound sexy enough for ya?? http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif

[Shaun]

YIKES http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/eek.gif,the sounding of hurried feet and smashing glass as Shaun dives out the window....

''In a world called catastrope my native tongue is blasphomy''

[chick]

Cushion for the Pushin, Shaun http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Shaun]

YIKES!! And i picture some pretty good lookin pantiless clowns in my semi-sorted mind to http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

''In a world called catastrope my native tongue is blasphomy''

[Chris Chappell]

Entertaining thread..

I have to agree chick "pantiless clown" really struck, one of my remaining nerves, as very funny. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

Thanks cjo.

..and now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

.

[This message was edited by cjo on 01-17-04 at 12:21 PM.]

[november]

Originally posted by kimpewter:

id agree with the investigative skills if i didnt use my email address in all posts.
its funny that u ppl here and on new mobility think ur blowin my cover or something by showing old posts ive made.
i openly will tell u all everywhere ive posted any day.
i challenge u all to find the name i used on nm when i first started.
that would be good investigative skills.
haha.

I like how you classify us as "u ppl" http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

I was joking with CJO about investigative skills. It was pretty obvious who you were when I read your post too. I remember you http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/redface.gif

[Andy]

Originally posted by november:

I like how you classify us as "u ppl" http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif


Yeah really! We prefer communication with outsiders through our caretakers, how dare she refer to us directly? http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/mad.gif Besides, everyone knows that we are not 'u ppl', as we are not people, but objects to be used as needed, be it for sexual gratification or what have you. Shame on her!

[november]

Now I'm a secret agent too. I dug up misterhappypants aka kimpewter's pic here http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[Smo]

I'm sure she would of provided you with such, seeing as she had already posted the pic...but I guess you did save her the work LOL

[Andy]

Wow, looks like 'Jane Doe' claims to be the former 'zillah' looking at a post elsewhere. Interesting bio...On SSDI for Bipolar Disorder? Not only a devo, but nuts also http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/eek.gif

now how many people are the outspoken devos here? Isit just one that has too much time on her hands, or have we been infiltrated?

MoodyMcMoody

Disclaimer: The preceding was "in my opinion". It does not represent the views of this network.

[Smo]

haha Andy I'm not nuts! Mental illness does not equal nuts.. mental illness = medical condition... just as people with diabetes need meds...so do people with bipolar disorder! Just thought I'd educate you! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif Have a lovely day!

[Smo]

Originally posted by MoodyMcMoody:

now how many people are the outspoken devos here? Isit just one that has too much time on her hands, or have we been infiltrated?

MoodyMcMoody

Disclaimer: The preceding was "in my opinion". It does not represent the views of this network.

Speaking of too much time on ones hands...perhaps ya should ummm pic up a mirror ... people that live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif
Damn with all the free advice I hand out here I should start charging http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif

.

[This message was edited by MoodyMcMoody on 01-16-04 at 04:59 PM.]

[Max]

Originally posted by november:

Now I'm a secret agent too. I dug up misterhappypants aka kimpewter's pic here http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/tongue.gif

I find her cutehttp://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif

Kimpewter feel free to write me..

And forgive some people here- Temporary http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif disabled people could be cruel sometime http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/frown.gif

Its unfortunately permanent state of mind in some http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

[This message was edited by Max on 01-16-04 at 06:01 PM.]

[Max]

Originally posted by cjo:

We all know how society views groupies. Please. You and your circus clown friend should take your twisted perversions elsewhere.

What I see http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/eek.gif

Boychick once again showing his ugly attitude & trying to kick different than "normal" HIM, people out! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/confused.gif

Trying to remind you my Big naughty Man http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif that this forums are inclusive not exclusive....

Geez...For future phd you are slow learner http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

And Who are "We"??? http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/eek.gif

King of Universe, CJo?

Next time, speak for yourself, Capish? Comprende? Understand? Rozumiesh? Ponimaesh? http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[This message was edited by Max on 01-16-04 at 07:18 PM.]

[This message was edited by Max on 01-17-04 at 12:42 PM.]

[Max]

Originally posted by cjo:

This is not a personals site for able bodied men and women to post ads to satisfy their wacky perversions.

Wow,

Who are you to tell?

Btw, where & when did you loose your moderator privileges?

[This message was edited by Max on 01-17-04 at 12:40 PM.]

..

[This message was edited by cjo on 01-17-04 at 12:20 PM.]

[bushman]

I just have to laugh at this whole thread.

[ip]

Kim Pewter is pretty cute. So is Zillah [if that's her real picture.] http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

[kimpewter]

so much negativity.
cant we all just get along?

[raven666]

wellz, i Know it's not my place to say anything anymore to this group, but i still want to bring up the point again, eventhou there is no use. Devotee is something that we didn't want it to be, it just born with us ever since we understand this "happening". We are not as perverted as people thought we tend to be, maybe some of us are perhaps being offensive and pervertive , but NOT ALL of us are that way.To Zillah, it is no use to change the members of carecure community to change their mind about us, they just judge us on the surface instead of have the guts to face the reality. YES DEVOTEE does exist, but until they have courage to face us, it is no use and no meaning for this on going "war of words" to attack others. So to all, till you have GUTS to find out who we really are, judge us all you want, it just show how superficial and shallow the person you going to be. Till then....

[Wise Young]

Please, no personal attacks. Wise.

[Andy]

Oh my, look who has been lurking. Creepy. I do wonder if these people ever realize that they are unwanted or not, and what they hope to gain by hanging around here. Oh well, this is a fairly interesting view of what sort of shall we say, questionable, people exist running around the internet. I would be really interested in knowing more about who these people are in real life. So far we know one has a Bipolar mental condition, how about the other Devo's hanging around here, anything you would like to share about yourselves?

[kimpewter]

ok ill share.
im a really decent person who happens to be attracted to certain ppl with a certain disability.
im not sure y i have this attraction, but i am sure im not sick and twisted.
i mean im one of the most caring/kind/decent ppl i know.
do u guys know y i might like what i like?
i know its wrong.
i feel wrong for it.
but do u guys ignore ur attractions?

[Smo]

Bipolar hardly makes me crazy...a lot of "normal" people have bipolar disorder type I or II ...and also like Kimpewter I'm also the most caring, decent, good hearted person I know http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif she also brought up a good question...do you guys ignore your attractions?
I highly doubt it... anyways I'm certainly not looking for your approval in anyway shape or form Andy or anyones for that matter LOL

Strange how threads like this only continue and repeat themselves when people keep beating on each other. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

"the most caring, decent, good hearted person I know". LOL. Like anybody ever admits they're a lowlife, self-serving, perverted, psycho-megalomaniac when trying to defend their perspectives and ideas. Ooops.. hmmm I think I've actually done that. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/eek.gif http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[chick]

Ok, ill share:
Im the most lowlife, self-serving, perverted, psycho-megalomaniac person I know.

Ahhh.. I feel truly liberated now http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

[Aurelia]

Jane/Zillah wow you are an april fools baby too.

[ip]

I've been thinking about this thread, and now am convinced the really twisted people here are the people attacking devos. Why would somebody attack? I guess to protect themselves, protect others, or the worst, to destroy someone else just because the feel they can, or should. I've come to be convinced its unfortunately the third. It may be an inferiority complex, which manifests itself in the pleasure in attacking those perceived weak. Kind of like beating a dedicated wife.

Devos are attracted to us [I guess initially] because we are in wheelchairs. I submit there are much worse reasons to be attracted to somebody. Say wealth. Or social status. Yet this happens all the time, and is perceived as normal. I think a devo's behavior can be dangerous if someone was a 'serial' devo, who went from one injured person to another, leaving psychological destruction behind. But I think this is not the intent, right?

[kimpewter]

right ip.
well said.
thanks.

[duge]

I know this sound's dumb but what are devo's? and alot of the other abbreviation's I don't understand also
Thank's duge

[Max]

Originally posted by ip:

I've been thinking about this thread, and now am convinced the really twisted people here are the people attacking devos. Why would somebody attack? I guess to protect themselves, protect others, or the worst, to destroy someone else just because the feel they can, or should. I've come to be convinced its unfortunately the third. It may be an inferiority complex, which manifests itself in the pleasure in attacking those perceived weak. Kind of like beating a dedicated wife. I submit there are much worse reasons to be attracted to somebody. Say wealth. Or social status. Yet this happens all the time, and is perceived as normal. I think a devo's behavior can be dangerous if someone was a 'serial' devo, who went from one injured person to another, leaving psychological destruction behind. But I think this is not the intent, right?

You just put my thoughts in writing! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/cool.gif

Thank you!

[Max]

Originally posted by strat:


"the most caring, decent, good hearted person I know". LOL. Like anybody ever admits they're a lowlife, self-serving, perverted, psycho-megalomaniac when trying to defend their perspectives and ideas. Ooops.. hmmm I think I've actually done that. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/eek.gif http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

Thanks Strat,

You made me laugh & made my Day! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[chick]

Some just like teasin folk who come beggin, err... advertising, to get laid. Guess we can feel compassion or pity, excited and happy, or .... just freakin laugh at how pathetic this seems... http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif
BTW, it would give them the attention they seek anyway, from the crips, so, think they are actually delighting in the attention (as you can see from their attentiveness to the replies thus far). Few, if any, things happen without PERMISSION. "Destroy" someone with a few words questioning their behaviour? hmmm.. likened to abusing a wife? There comes a point, where as adults, you ENABLE, and you ALLOW others PERMISSON, to treat you as they do.
(before anyone gets hard up by this comment, this doesn't mean anyone deserves abuse)

I guess you CAN'T really know intent from a message board, but you can infer what that intent is, and when someone says they are seeking "friendship and possibly more", then you know that this person, AB or not, is INTENTIONALLY and MINDFULLY seeking a person who is paralyzed to become involved with. Why? who knows. Some seem to claim a simple attraction, no different than attraction to hair color, height, whatever. Others claim some inherent need, desire, something more deeper, as Anibus claims as being "Born with".

If people choose a lifestyle and it does not harm another, then so be it. If they find happiness with a paralyzed person, then all the power to them, as well as to the person paralyzed.

This is an open forum and people, whatever their background, should be welcomed. However, when people post on such open forums, they are opening themselves up to criticism and attack, as well as support and friendship. This applies to people w/dis also, as I don't think they should be immune from criticism for whatever opinion is posted. That would be patronizing, wouldn't it? http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif

Maybe it is a sad commentary that people should feel inhibited from expressing themselves openly, for fear of criticism, attack and/or ridicule, but that is the reality of sharing a part of your self with others, especially strangers who do not have to respect you and are not obligated to value what you have to say. Speaking and sharing publicly is allowing yourself to be a bit vulnerable to that public and therefore you need to know to accept that there may be consequences. It's a tough world, so don't expect to be coddled http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif.

What's the saying? "Life's a bitch... then you die"??

Life's a Bitch... so learn to Bitch back, else you die.

[This message was edited by chick on 01-17-04 at 04:09 PM.]

[NoDecafPlz]

Will you coddle me,
even just for a wee little bit???

http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

J.

[Shaun]

Im with Canuck-off,this is pretty funny stuff.People gettin all worked up,panti's in a bunch,feelin's hurt over a few words typed on a screen by some girl.YA know it's not like there being blared over a car stereo or a loud ass neighbour that wont shut up! They dont make a sound,you have the power people to look away from the words and not read that wild gathering of letters.Hey,all we need is love..

''In a world called catastrope my native tongue is blasphomy''

[Shaun]

lol..No decaf,,thats a good one,i somehow dont take Chick as the coddling type bro http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

''In a world called catastrope my native tongue is blasphomy''

[Andy]

Time to stir the pot a little more...

So the Devo's think they are the kindest, most warm hearted, blah blah blah people they know, yet they dont find it odd that they are focusing in on a subset of society that is disabled so they can objectify them for sexual gratification. Hmmm, I kind of miss how this is being kind and warm hearted doing this. Maybe the Devo's can expand on their theory so that someone as dense as me can understand their fixation?

And for those that support Devo's, you are not exempt from my query...Do you support them in hopes of contact or attention from them?

<ducking so as not to get splattered by the feces flying from the fan>

[NoDecafPlz]

For real!

I think she needs a mate thats more like a cactus. Only needs so much attention, only when she feels like it.

http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif

J.

[Max]

Originally posted by *Andy*:



And for those that support Devo's, you are not exempt from my query...Do you support them in hopes of contact or attention from them?



Nope...I just support everyones right to post-no matter how "abnormal" they may seem to "normal" members

[Steven Edwards]

Originally posted by Max:

Nope...I just support everyones right to post-no matter how "abnormal" they may seem to "normal" members Even cjo's? http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/tongue.gif

LOL

-Steven

[Max]

Originally posted by Steven Edwards:

Originally posted by Max:
Nope...I just support everyones right to post-no matter how "abnormal" they may seem to "normal" members Even cjo's? http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/tongue.gif

LOL

-Steven

Yup even his Steven! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif

I just noticed he deleted/edited his posts here

Tells me a lot about "maturity" of this man http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/frown.gif

Why to post something & then delete it http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/confused.gif

In my opinion grown up people stand by their words & admit their mistakes if they feel so...

Also wondering why he is not moderator anymore http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/confused.gif

[betheny]

Originally posted by Max:

Originally posted by Steven Edwards:
Originally posted by Max:
Nope...I just support everyones right to post-no matter how "abnormal" they may seem to "normal" members Even cjo's? http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/tongue.gif

LOL

-Steven

Yup even his Steven! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif

I just noticed he deleted/edited his posts here

Tells me a lot about "maturity" of this man http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/frown.gif

Why to post something & then delete it http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/confused.gif

In my opinion grown up people stand by their words & admit their mistakes if they feel so...

Gettin personal and off-topic. Private disagreements need to go somewhere else, ok? Thanks y'all.

[Max]

Originally posted by Betheny:

Gettin personal and off-topic. Private disagreements need to go somewhere else, ok? Thanks y'all.



Yes., Maaam!http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif

[kimpewter]

to reply to andy...
im not looking just for a 'boy toy'.
i want a serious relationship at some point.
im interested in real serious committment on both parts.
this is y i can say im a decent person.
im not out to just mess with someone then take off.
i want to find someone i can care about and have the same in return.
i am decent, and all that i said.
like i said before, i know my attraction isnt proper.
u should like someone for who they r ultimately, then everything else should fall into place.
but on a physical level, i like what i like and im not about to apologize for it.

[ip]

"And for those that support Devo's, you are not exempt from my query...Do you support them in hopes of contact or attention from them?"

To answer Andy: Maybe that's part of it - part of the reason for my defence. Gotta admit. But I know it's not a realistic scenario for me.

But a larger part is my fascination with the strength of character it takes to lay it all out on the line - to open oneself up to critisism and attacks - because someone has figured themselves out and therefore strives for what they want. After SCI, I think I've become more attuned to that, and respect that in people. I know of many people who live life in a haze.

[Smo]

I just find the post in this thread so ironic!!! Look at whose resorting to insults, name calling and other such acts...and who isn't...perhaps that'll tell ya who the decent people are! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif
I must say I do admire Kimpewter for her openess and honesty - and for those that can form their own opinions without resorting to insults appreciate them too! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif
Basically comes down to theres always a bad apples in a bunch...and that does apply for all groups of people... doesn't mean an entire group is bad.

[Fastasaturtle]

She has an idea that sci guys are the

bomb is all, 'tis true, we rock' [SOME, A FEW]...we even come

with 'ky'

BUT...

People can be so judgemental. I notice this

behavior mostly in the sci world. Much paranoid

behaviors, very cruel.

This pertains to Theory based on being around the

AB world online for five years, never any sci

contacts, then joining sci communities.

[november]

My personal opinions on devotee's aside...

Kim, sorry I posted that pic of you up. I should have asked. I wouldn't appreciate it being done to me.

[kimpewter]

good point jane doe.

[kimpewter]

november, i appreciate ur apology.
thanks.

[metronycguy]

Originally posted by Fastasaturtle:

She has an idea that sci guys are the

bomb is all, 'tis true, we rock' [SOME, A FEW]...we even come

with 'ky'

.
fasta..
whats that kentucky jelly? http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Vike]

I don't think you should be sorry at all November. If this photo was posted by her prior and was in the database free for public view, then reposting should not be a problem. It was nice of you to appologize anyway.

[Max]

Originally posted by kimpewter:

november, i appreciate ur apology.
thanks.

Kim I already saved it

In 20 years when you get older marry some miliomaire & Have kids im going to walk into you somewhere & blackmail you with it http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/cool.gif

On serios note, I've sent you email-Please answer if even you not interested..
I'll understand...

[Andy]

Originally posted by Max:

I've sent you email-Please answer if even you not interested..
I'll understand...


Will we have a Love Connection? Tune in next week for the next episode of Love Connection!


<Twilight Zone theme music in background>

[Smo]

people get upset if the DA community is viewed as being asexual but also upset if their viewed as being sexual?? hmmmm there's no winning here ... http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

[Max]

Originally posted by *Andy*:


Will we have a Love Connection? Tune in next week for the next episode of Love Connection!

Just hold your woman tight!http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif

You may loose her someday... http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/eek.gif

[Max]

Originally posted by Jane Doe:

people get upset if the DA community is viewed as being asexual but also upset if their viewed as being sexual?? hmmmm there's no winning here ... http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

Very true!

[chick]

Viewing a person who has a disability as sexual beings,
And Viewing a disabling characteristic as sexy,
Are two VERY DIFFERENT things.
TO NOT understand this distinction, pretty much tells me how someone regards the PERSON (who has the disability).

[Wesley]

Chick,

is there a difference between being attracted to someone because of their physical disability and being attracted to a "chick" because she has a fine rack?

[chick]

There's no difference between being attracted to an amputated leg and a pair of big breasts, since the attraction is directly the result of the specific physical characteristic and not the person or any intrinsic quality.

[Smo]

Hmmm so being that theres no difference in the two...Kimpetwer & I and others "devos" are just like everyone else. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif ....so again someone tell me the problem with being a devo? http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/confused.gif

[marco25]

I wonder if in forums set up for parents who've lost a child, there are people who get involved because they're attracted to people who've suffered such a loss. That there's something "sexy" about grieving, hurting people who're trying their best to adjust to a whole new existence minus a significant part of themselves. They're reaching out to others like them for support, encouragement, advice as they accept this new life.

If I was a grieving parent and member of such a forum, I would be angry, horrified and repulsed. Losing a child wouldn't make me aesexual, but if someone found my devastating pain and loss sexually attractive/exciting, no matter how decent and sensitive they may think they are, I would want them to go elsewhere.

Zillah, Jane, etc. maybe this is why so many here have trouble with your attraction to them. This may not be a perfect analogy, but as I've talked to others about this issue, I think it comes close. Does it help you understand in this context?

[Smo]

Originally posted by martha2:

I wonder if in forums set up for parents who've lost a child, there are people who get involved because they're attracted to people who've suffered such a loss. That there's something "sexy" about grieving, hurting people who're trying their best to adjust to a whole new existence minus a significant part of themselves. They're reaching out to others like them for support, encouragement, advice as they accept this new life.

If I was a grieving parent and member of such a forum, I would be angry, horrified and repulsed. Losing a child wouldn't make me aesexual, but if someone found my devastating pain and loss sexually attractive/exciting, no matter how decent and sensitive they may think they are, I would want them to go elsewhere.

Zillah, Jane, etc. maybe this is why so many here have trouble with your attraction to them. This may not be a perfect analogy, but as I've talked to others about this issue, I think it comes close. Does it help you understand in this context?
Well devos...and certainly myself do not "get off" or gain any pleasure over ones suffering. And do not mean any harm. I can't articulate enough, on my attractions too. I don't try over analyzing this either. As I see no need too. But I do think your a bit off on your analogy. I do appreciate you taking the time to respond though and in a polite manner http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

[chick]

Jane, my posts reflect ONLY MY opinion on this or any other matter. My post below does not represent sentiments of any one else. If I state there is no difference, you can ask how that is consistent with anything I might have stated previously. Do NOT generalize my 1 post to all others who have been posting.

Also, I did not say that because there was no difference in the post below, that that means that that specific example is either "normal" or not dysfunctional in any way. I knew that my post would stimulate more posts... which is why I did not elaborate on it. I have more thoughts on that issue(post made below by me), but chose to leave it broad, to see what responses there might be to it.

Actually, this is a tired repetitive topic, but maybe there might be different perspectives added specific to this thread.

btw, I am always consistent http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif

[Wesley]

Originally posted by chick:

There's no difference between being attracted to an amputated leg and a pair of big breasts, since the attraction is directly the result of the specific physical characteristic and not the person or any intrinsic quality.

I respectfully disagree. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif If you're right, then devos are simply boorish, not perverted or predatory. The difference being that jugs are universally recognized as sexually attractive and women are well schooled in assessing the sincerity of their suitors. In spite of their boldness here, I doubt devos identify their fixation if they can avoid it. That puts the disabled person potentially in the dark about the devo's motivations. In addition, since amputated limbs are generally not thought of as sexy, I've got a question whether a devo has the capacity to truly love in a mature sense. I mean what kind of lover worships an attribute that neither the owner or society as a whole appreciates?

Martha,
as a disabled person, I don't feel that devos are any more perverted than someone with a foot fetish and think your analogy portrays disabled folks as perennially emotionally vulnerable over their injury.

Jane, maybe you should do a bit of self analyzing. It might enable you to have happier more stable relationships. I mean check it out, you're cruising the Internet for crippled guys!!!

[This message was edited by Wesley on 01-18-04 at 08:45 PM.]

[marco25]

I don't get the sense you are attracted/excited by the suffering so much as the results of the loss, ie, the wheelchair, para legs. That's what I'm trying to understand.

I'm not sci, but from what I've read, heard and discussed with sci men about this, their loss, suffering, grief has been traumatic. I think, like a grieving parent would, some at least find your attraction to the results of this pain/loss in their lives strange.

BTW, I'm not judging you or trying to run you off, but, as I've personally tried to come to terms with this issue, I thought it might help you understand the responses that have been generated here.

And, as usual, I think chick nailed it:

"Viewing a person who has a disability as sexual beings, and viewing a disabling characteristic as sexy, are two VERY DIFFERENT things."

[Steven Edwards]

Jane Doe,

I think it comes down to the fact that the majority of us disabled people want to get rid of these awful legs because we hate them. Somebody finding them sexy is repulsive to us.

Regarding the question of people ignoring their attractions, what if a person was attracted to little kids? Wouldn't you say they should ignore their attractions?

-Steven

[marco25]

Wesley, I didn't use the word "perverted" but that it could be perceived as "strange."

Your comment about my analogy is fair. I stated at the onset that it wasn't perfect.

[Smo]

Originally posted by Wesley:

[Jane, maybe you should do a bit of self analyzing. It might enable you to have happier more stable relationships. I mean check it out, you're cruising the Internet for crippled guys!!!

[This message was edited by Wesley on 01-18-04 at 08:45 PM.]
am I? please paste where I've stated once that I'm looking for anyone lol... I simply joined in on this thread http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif
BTW If you have read other post in this thread by me...I have stated that I do date ABs and that I have had great experiences with guys in chairs so I do think that plays a factor and maybe I am wrong in thinking all guys in chairs are more open, less judgemental, more affectionate and initmate - but now find myself extremely attracted to such... does that make me "sick"? I think not. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

[Andy]

Originally posted by chick:

Actually, this is a tired repetitive topic, but maybe there might be different perspectives added specific to this thread.


Tell me about it. Different perspectives have been voiced on other threads on this subject, but I dont think that some of the people that posted their experiences with devos want to relive the bad experiences posting them again. I believe we came to the concensus before that there is more than a physical aspect to the whole devo thing as was written before in the other threads, and it was not nice.

I like to tell it like I see it, so I will offer my perspective without my trademark sarcasm or baiting that I sometimes like to post with. We have one devo who is admittedly mentally defective. She tells of how disabled people are not as judgemental and are able to see 'below the surface' somehow more than AB people are. Does this mean she thinks that disabled people are more accepting of someone that otherwise people would steer clear of for any number of reasons? Does she think that they will accept her out of desperation for a partner due to their disability? That's my read on this matter. Also, there is that reference of 'playing caregiver' that she makes, we already covered that permutation of the devo topic in other threads. In short, really creepy, and quite frankly I dont think it was the intention of this board to have this type of activity happening here.

Then we have our old friend Anubus who lurks in the shadows of a SCI message board while he or a loved one does not have a SCI, he lurks for sexual reasons. He pops up once in a while to tell us that we should "have GUTS to find out who we (devos) really are". Yeah, I am quite sure that I or anyone else on this board will be really attracted to such a challenge when shopping for a relationship. Kind of like saying do you have the guts to see if that rapist/murderer/what have you is really serious or just joking around.

Then we have that other person that changes her name for the latest cruising cycle on this board and also posts on that other disability board to the same cool reception. Maybe if she posts enough she might get lucky to have someone interested. Maybe the law of averages fell in her favor this time around, hmmm.

You know, maybe all the pleas from these particular devos about how they are not like all those other 'bad' devos and how they are giving, warm hearted, and whatever other positive lights they see themselves in may be true. Then again, maybe not.

[Smo]

LoL did ya say something Andy? Anyways, bipolar is no different than depression, or add, adhd, do some research buddy before you go off speaking of something you do not know http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif One good aspect of having bipolar (for me anyways) is I do lose interest quite easily..bahahah ....have fun posting.

[NoDecafPlz]

So to recap,

Don't date anyone who is an "ism"
first and human being second,and
if you have any doubts on who you
should be f%cking, stop thinking,
you're not qualified.

<Paid for by the makers of devotee alert
and devotee detector- making sure you're
being shtuped for all the right reasons.>

Feh.


J.

[raven666]

andy andy andy....my my my..... i know you are saying your opionion, but all i read is blah blah blah blah Blah.... i not saying i am a "GOOD" devo or i am a "BAD" devo, the reason i post because i just want to get my point out in the public, the same as everyone else in the forum. i know you like to post sarcastic comments about people who offended you, i guess i am one of them, so i am cool with it all. But seriously, think more carefully while posting, because sometimes i read your post, i got a kick out of it. In comparison with others, your post mainly to make fun of people instead of discussing the problem itself, and it really disrespect the purpose of the forum as to discuss issues in life and society. And I do agree, hold on to your girl, who know one day she'll left you. I guess most of you know the situation about devo, and for those who understand us, i am gratefully appreciate your understanding; and for those who take it negatively, i do want you to understand more, and then judge us afterward.

[Andy]

Jane, maybe you havent noticed, this is a SCI board, not a psychiatric board, I am not interested in how not nuts you find yourself to be. You came here to objectify people with disablities for your sexual gratification and wonder why they are not responsive in the way you would like. Gee, big suprise there. Please dont respond again, you are ignoring me, remember?

Anubis: Cant think of a better response other than telling me all you are reading is 'blah blah'? I must have struck a nerve for you to go on with your plea, ad nauseum, that you are being unfairly judged. Again, this is a SCI board, I am not too interested in understanding your condition. What my gf has to do with all this is beyond me, are you jealous or something?

Anyway, I would suggest you two take your sparkling personalities elsewhere where they might be wanted, I think most of the folks around here dont care much for your type.

[Max]

Originally posted by *Andy*:

Anyway, I would suggest you two take your sparkling personalities elsewhere where they might be wanted, I think most of the folks around here dont care much for your type.

How can you think this way http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/confused.gif? I think only Kim can say how many sci from here care to write her.

[QUOTE] I will offer my perspective without my trademark sarcasm or baiting that I sometimes like to post with[QUOTE]

Oh I thought that you were just kidding all the way! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/eek.gif

Now I see....Hope you did not do it to prevent fellow sci to score a date & to have happy pic. with Lady on lap, did you? http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/confused.gif http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

Hope you will not be jealous if someone will find happiness with Kim or other Lady,like you found "bundle of joy on your lap" http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif, will you? http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/eek.gif

Made me wondering, do you realy cherish & respect your love? http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/confused.gif
or take it with your "usual" trademark sarcazm & baiting?

[This message was edited by Max on 01-19-04 at 01:34 PM.]

[Shaun]

NoDecaf..HA to funny! But you forgot ''ist's'' man.never date anybody who is an ''ism'' or ''ist''.I have no personal experiences with ''ee's'' so i guess i'll watch how this plays out http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

''EE'S'' Good or bad,story at 10.

''In a world called catastrope my native tongue is blasphomy''

[betheny]

Nodecaf-

I wish we could bottle that sense of humor, the world needs more of it! "...making sure you'e being shtuped for the right reasons."
LOL! Thanks

[Andy]

Max, I'm not here to prevent anyone with a SCI from finding someone. I just have a problem with the reasons that these devos have for coming here. They are not attracted to the person, they are attracted to the disablity. I am quite sure that most of the people with a SCI prefer to be identified for who they are, not for what disablilty they have. Anyway, if you or anyone here want to gamble with these devos, more power to you. Just keep in mind the stories posted around the board about devo encounters.

And a final note, what is with all the comments about the hottie on my lap in my avatar? Ain't a guy entitled to show off his piece of meat? http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif
(wait until the chauvanist pig thread starts, then I'll be in trouble)

[Smo]

(In my fake southern accent) Y'all need to enlightenup a bit....sheesh Life's not meant to be taken seriously now...or is it? bahahaha http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Shaun]

Exactly Jane!! Now how much do you weigh and is the form of your meat anything like Andy's piece of meat http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif UUUUUUMMMMM MEAT (in a Homer tone)

''In a world called catastrope my native tongue is blasphomy''

[chick]

Typically, socially dysfunctional bi-polar sexual deviants are not taken to seriously. They are usually just kept doped up with meds with a nice pretty bib under their chin to catch the drool. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif


now... where the hell is my cactus??

[Max]

Originally posted by *Andy*:

And a final note, what is with all the comments about the hottie on my lap in my avatar? Ain't a guy entitled to show off his piece of meat? http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif
_(wait until the chauvanist pig thread starts, then I'll be in trouble)_

Does your Lady knows you call her this way? http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/confused.gif

Somehow I thought about you as Gentleman...

Sigh..I also thought that you happy in your relationship....

And to tell you, frankly-was (how it to say...cannnot find ridgt word in English.) .....jealous somewhat...but in good sence of this word...

No wonder how you treat other Ladies here..

Tell me you not serious.......,aren't you?

Devos or not I have not met anybody for long 8 years since paralysis http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/frown.gif

And I try to rely on my own experiences with people, no matter whatever somebody says, writes or posts.....

The only thing in my life I would not be able to overcome is being with prostitute or gay men sexually...But over years I made couple gay friends & find them very interesting personally as human beings, witty, loyal, smart & sensitive as friends..

As I told before I came from "cold"http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif & very intolerant toward gays country & believe me had lots of prejudice to ovecome inside myself

[Shaun]

now... where the hell is my cactus??[/QUOTE]

Right here Chick,i'll give you a prick http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[Smo]

"Only God can judge me!" http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif
gotta love the insults ... speaks volumes

[crazynurse]

Hey! Andy's Piece of Meat here...of course I know he refers to me this way. Actually, I prefer him to call me his F**K Puppet, lol!

I don't think it's offensive, in fact I find it quite funny. Know why it's funny, CAUSE IT'S A FREAKING JOKE PEOPLE!

We both have unique senses of humor, it works for us, may not work for others.

Seriously, Andy's sarcasm is truly part of his charm! For fear of anyone inferring anything from that statement, let me add this disclaimer: "I am in no way sexually attracted to his sarcasm."

Back to the topic at hand...if being sexually attracted to a person's disability is just part of your makeup, why label yourself, why the term "devo?"

People with SCI have gone through so much already in their lives...I can't say I blame them for for getting pissed off w/ dealing people who have sexual fantasies about their disability.

[Shaun]

Shaun kicked the ground in a huff ''Wish i had f**k puppet,big stupid lucky Andy'' he moaned to himself http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

''In a world called catastrope my native tongue is blasphomy''

[dogger]

devos[devotees] . i had never heard the term devos until i started using internet . i have been involved with 2 female devos . their attraction to SCI men was not sexual , in my opinion it was more subtle , but much more insidious than that . the first one was attractive enough to ''make a corspe stand up '' . at first i wondered why she was interested in a bloke like me . both these females attraction to SCI's was to fulfill their desire to be needed to a stage of being indispensable . i got out of the second relationship fast when i saw the signs . with the first one i was relatively new to SCI and thought all my christmases had come at once , with this young [ she was 23 to my 32 ] , attractive , attentive lady fawning over me , catering to my every desire . i began to notice that things i could easily do before were harder to do and she would be there waiting to ''help me '' . things like getting something i regularly used out of a cupboard . at first i thought i must have been losing a little strength or range of movement in my arms , than i realised that if i replaced something in a cupboard it would be moved a little , just enough to turn an easy task into a hard one . thinking it was accidental by her , i mentioned my problems to her , but the ''game '' still contiued , though much more cleverly . other things like taking the keys out of my vehicles [something i never do at home ] after she drove them . as i cursed and started back inside to get them , i would invariably meet her coming out saying ''sorry , i just can't get out of the habit '' . she was also a nurse [who had done some training time in a SCI ward ] and seemed determined to oversee my independence . these are just a few examples [this happened about 12 years ago , my memory is hazy ] of a myriad of ''small ongoing irritations'' , that seemed to crop up constantly . i finally realised she was trying to make me totally reliant on her , until i considered that i couldn't function without her . i decided solitude was preferable at that stage of her ''game'' . after the episode with the second one i became very cautious . old saying ''if it looks too good to be true , then it usually isn't true '' . if it is pure lust driving your devo fetish , and both parties realise that , i don't have much of a problem with it ....BUT , in my opinion [ biased from experience i admit ] , if the SCI person tries to ''escape'' there is a high liklihood of the mind games starting . using the analogy that this attraction is no different to liking big boobs etc , is [ once again in my opinion ] , utter B/S. we are not only susceptable to the mind games that might be played with a ''big boobed AB'' but also to a second layer of mind games as a result of our SCI. i would suggest that the devos here do some deep soul searching and truthfully question whether their attraction really is harmless as they try to make us believe. i consider Anibus's [ the jackal ] and happypants's integrity to be questionable considering they were going to leave this site alone. sorry for being so long winded .
thank you ,
dogger

every day i wake up is a good one .

[This message was edited by dogger on 01-20-04 at 02:24 AM.]

[Smo]

Originally posted by Vicki:


Back to the topic at hand...if being sexually attracted to a person's disability is just part of your makeup, why label yourself, why the term "devo?"

.
Beats me....but then again I could careless what label I'm given at the end of the day. I know I'm a good person with good intentions - thats all that matter to me. Devo seems to be a blanket label.. usually directed towards a fetishist - thats something I'm not http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

[chick]

hmmm.. now I thought that life wasn't meant to be taken so seriously.... or is it? http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif

*wonder if that statement was made during a manic episode???*

btw, no judgement or insult made at anyone. Simply a commentary about how socially dysfunctional bi polar sexual deviants are often medicated. This is a statement of judgement against the SYSTEM! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif

[chick]

Originally posted by Jane Doe:

Originally posted by Vicki:
Back to the topic at hand...if being sexually attracted to a person's disability is just part of your makeup, why label yourself, why the term "devo?" . Beats me....but then again I could careless what label I'm given at the end of the day. I know I'm a good person with good intentions - thats all that matter to me. Devo seems to be a blanket label.. usually directed towards a fetishist - thats something I'm not http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif Thou doth protesthhhhhhh too much, eh??? http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif

*sigh*

Well, computer errr, kimpewter, sorry your ad for a crippal turned into a bashathlon. Good luck in your future endeavors, just keep them shorts on.. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[Aurelia]

Dogger, your story is really scary. It could have turned out like Misery from Stephen King. There is a lot to be said for being single especially when you see whats floating around. As for the devos my thoughts are its a big wind up with bored 9-5r's.

[ghoti]

I think Dogger's story gets to the core of the matter. We all want someone who is DEVOTED to us, but no one in their right mind would want someone who is OBSESSED with them. The example of the girlfriend who deliberately made things more difficult just to make herself more needed is clearly an unhealthy obsession. Most of us are people who've been through a lot of adversity and it has made us tough and resourceful in a way that is beyond most AB's comprehension, and I can see how that could be a source of attraction for some.

My wife is AB and she and I are full partners in our marriage. I neither want nor need a nursemaid and she doesn't want to be caregiver to an invalid, but we each have our strengths and weaknesses that mesh neatly together. We said "in sickness and in health" in our wedding vows and we both will uphold that regardless of what the future brings. That's what is needed in any healthy relationship IMO.

So the crux of the matter may be this - are you interested in a handicapped person because you want to play nursie and make someone dependent on you, or are you looking for a life partner who knows how to cope with adversity? The motivation behind the "devo" label makes all the difference.

"I was thinking about starting to procrastinate, but I decided to put it off for a while."

[Smo]

Originally posted by ghoti:

So the crux of the matter may be this - are you interested in a handicapped person because you want to play nursie and make someone dependent on you, or are you looking for a life partner who knows how to cope with adversity? The motivation behind the "devo" label makes all the difference.

"
It's most certainly the latter of the two. Mental strength is something I find incrediably attractive and admirable. BTW I couldn't of said it better myself...it is the motivation of the person. As with any relationship http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif and like I've said before there's always bad apple in a bunch...doesn't mean the entire group itself is bad.

[Angeleena]

I would like Kim or 4-wings (Anubis), zillah, and any other devo here to tell me how many devos they know themselves. How well do you know them? Just off the internet? How many are married, and are they married to a disabled or able-bodied person.? Are most devos well-rounded individuals or protective of themselves and anti-social? How did you learn that you are a devo?

I am afraid that the internet has introduced a new breed of cat that in years to come will have their own psychopompous gates of Hell by which all SCI creatures unfortunate enough to be out-of-touch with reality(the outside world) will be forever duped.

[Angeleena]

I would just like to add that if you (devos) are so very attracted to the maturity and strength of character dis people show, then like anyone 'going into a relationship', don't go looking to fill what is lacking in yourself with another. We tend to get disappointed when we expect to be fulfilled 'a certain way' by another. Work on yourself. Bring yourself up to a maturity-level that can handle Any relationship, not simply one with a disabled person.

[Kaprikorn1]

Ghoti...

Hit...Nail...Head

Well said sir/ma'am.

Kap

"It's not easy being green"

[antiquity]

Originally posted by Angeleena:

I would like Kim or 4-wings (Anubis), zillah, and any other devo here to tell me how many devos they know themselves. How well do you know them? Just off the internet? How many are married, and are they married to a disabled or able-bodied person.? Are most devos well-rounded individuals or protective of themselves and anti-social? How did you learn that you are a devo?


There was a study done by a SCI'ed psychologist that found that less the 5% of devotees actually marry the object of their attraction. In fact, most devotees go on to marry able bodied individuals.

[Chris Chappell]

Yes, ghoti, dogger, well said.

Big difference between devoted and obsessed.

..huge, monstrous...

[Angeleena]

Seneca, thank you for posting that.

[PN]

Originally posted by seneca:



There was a study done by a SCI'ed psychologist that found that less the 5% of devotees actually marry the object of their attraction. In fact, most devotees go on to marry able bodied individuals.

Seneca, can you provide us with the link to this study? Interesting and most likely true.

PN

[JayDee]

I am a 32 yr old male,quad, looking for AB female. I am at the point where I don't care if a woman is attracted to my dissabilty. Cause it might be her tits, or legs that atract me to her. So if legs are my thing does that meen I'm abnormal. Anyway if there are any ladies looking for a male quad from kansas drop me a line. jagger5@webtv.net

[murrey]

If this lady was preaching in church the pews would be full...

[williamphillipsjr]

What is wrong with you people. People don't choose what they are atttacted to. I have been married twice, loved both of them and now they are gone. So what if someone is attracted to us because we are a quad or para. So what if they leave. More than 50% of marriges end in divorce. We are part of the whole world working with what we got. If they are attracted to a Quad so be it. Grow up.

[Myc0]

What is wrong with you people. People don't choose what they are atttacted to. I have been married twice, loved both of them and now they are gone. So what if someone is attracted to us because we are a quad or para. So what if they leave. More than 50% of marriges end in divorce. We are part of the whole world working with what we got. If they are attracted to a Quad so be it. Grow up.

Umm, Michael Jackson may not have "chosen" to be attracted to little boys, but that doesn't justify pedophilia. This devo debate has been run into the ground ad nauseum but my perspective on it is that basically many people with SCI are put off and repulsed by someone who seeks out/preys on the disabled to satisfy their own abnormal psychosexual pathology. Besides the fact that it dehumanizes people to define them by their disability instead of their personality, it seems like a deviant psychology would persue the handicapped as a way to feel in control, and having the power in a relationship. Most people want to be loved for their good qualities, not their painful/dificult injuries. Sure that's great if you are attracted to someone who happens to be handicapped, but it seems troubling and suspicious to many to seek people out because of their handicap.:wtf: :no: :sick:

[Zaphod]

yeah........... what he said.....

OR there's a bunch of mal-adjusted handicapped people who HATE that someone might just see something attractive in what they spend 99% of their time despising.

I'm not defending predators here, but come on people, if someone liked me for my legs when they worked that wouldn't be bad, why's it bad now?

[Zeus]

I'm not defending predators here, but come on people, if someone liked me for my legs when they worked that wouldn't be bad, why's it bad now?
Zaphod,

I tend to agree on some very limited level. However, your analogy is not strictly the same thing. If I say "I think Natalie Portman has totally smokin' legs", most people can understand that attraction. If I meet a female suffering from anorexia who barely weighs 70 pounds, and say "your legs are totally hot", people will question my sanity.

I think this entire thread raises many good points from both 'camps', but Dogger's story probably sums up many people's fears. More to the point, when somebody's desires focus on something so unusual (like 'para legs') it's only natural for people to wonder what that person's motivations/intentions are.

I think it's also important to note that the term 'devo' means different things to different people. If somebody says to me "I've dated AB and disabled people, and I found disabled people had qualities I find attractive and therefore I seek out their company", I can understand this - and I don't really consider this a devo. If, on the other hand, you are sexually excited by the sight of a disabled person, or a particular part of their anatomy like 'para legs', then you are a devo and owe it to yourself to investigate the pathology of that desire.

If it's a manifestation of the first case (i.e., had positive dating experiences etc.) then that's possibly OK. If it's a desire to be needed etc., then you need to look elsewhere for your self-esteem. Seeking it from somebody whose self-esteem may already be compromised - or worse, seeking it from a 'body part' the disabled individual may view as a constant reminded of their disability/disassociation from the norm - is simply selfish and does both yourself and the disabled individual a disservice.

Chris.

[kkmay]

I am a 32 yr old male,quad, looking for AB female. I am at the point where I don't care if a woman is attracted to my dissabilty. Cause it might be her tits, or legs that atract me to her. So if legs are my thing does that meen I'm abnormal. Anyway if there are any ladies looking for a male quad from kansas drop me a line. jagger5@webtv.net


I agree with this dude.

[Steven Edwards]

If, on the other hand, you are sexually excited by the sight of a disabled person, or a particular part of their anatomy like 'para legs', then you are a devo and owe it to yourself to investigate the pathology of that desire. I guess many men owe it to themselves to investigate the pathology of their desire and attraction for large breasts. :p

Seriously, people are attracted to what they are attracted to. If someone's attractions aren't to your liking, don't attack them and say "Dude, you're whacked", just don't deal with them.

[Myc0]

I guess many men owe it to themselves to investigate the pathology of their desire and attraction for large breasts. :p

Seriously, people are attracted to what they are attracted to. If someone's attractions aren't to your liking, don't attack them and say "Dude, you're whacked", just don't deal with them.

While I actually am not attracted to large breast, it doesn't strike me as sick that some people are. I don't think the motivation for that attraction is the same and I don't think the analogy comparing the two attractions is accurate. Large breast are a physical characteristic that have been promoted and idealized through the media projection of some mens sexual preference/fantasy. "Para legs" or a wheelchair are not natural physical characteristics, but indications of or results of a traumatic injury that has seriously affected a persons body and left them disabled. I believe some "devo's" focus on this as they percieve people with these injuries to be weaker, more dependent on the assistance of others, more desperate for affection, and overall just needier and more fragile, both physically and emotionally. I'm not saying this is necesarily accurate, but I believe it is the belief behind some peoples obsession or fetishization of the disabled. This is why I am suspicious of "devo's", and find their attraction to someone's injured body because of the injury to be unhealthy. Also on this board the devo's who have posted seem to be rather obsessive and post dishonestly under different names pretending to be multiple people, which also seems to point to an unhealthy pathology. Once again I must point out that not all attractions are the same or healthy, as in the case of pedophilia or other abusive sexual practices.

[chick]

I believe some "devo's" focus on this as they percieve people with these injuries to be weaker, more dependent on the assistance of others, more desperate for affection, and overall just needier and more fragile, both physically and emotionally. I'm not saying this is necesarily accurate, but I believe it is the belief behind some peoples obsession or fetishization of the disabled. This is why I am suspicious of "devo's", and find their attraction to someone's injured body because of the injury to be unhealthy. Also on this board the devo's who have posted seem to be rather obsessive and post dishonestly under different names pretending to be multiple people, which also seems to point to an unhealthy pathology. Once again I must point out that not all attractions are the same or healthy, as in the case of pedophilia or other abusive sexual practices.Yes, simpy having attraction for a physical characteristic and being attracted to the DYSFUNCTION associated with a physical characteristic, are not the same.

In regard to your quote (in bold above)- that is observed on a daily basis by many on this board, and not just from self proclaimed overt devo's, but many who are 'accepted' members, whose behavior and expressions through posts exhibit all those qualities you've described and attributed to devo's. The overt, in your face, devo's are not so dangerous, as they put their cards out there for you to see and for you to choose. It is the latter, the less obvious and more conniving, who people need to be more worried about. These are the ones more likely to exploit others' vulnerabilities and insecurities, and of others' needs in effort to secure their own needs. These are the one's more likely to take advantage of others' difficulties to satisfy their own perversions and use other's perceived weaknesses to soothe their own extreme insecurity and self-doubt.

[Zeus]

Seriously, people are attracted to what they are attracted to. If someone's attractions aren't to your liking, don't attack them and say "Dude, you're whacked", just don't deal with them.
I totally agree with you, and I don't think I said "dude you're whacked" to anybody. My question, alluding to what Chick just said, is how many devos actually say to somebody when they meet them "man, those para legs are hot" or "wow, your tracheal tube gets me wet"? At least that way they give the disabled person a choice.

Chris.

[Zeus]

In regard to your quote (in bold above)- that is observed on a daily basis by many on this board, and not just from self proclaimed overt devo's, but many who are 'accepted' members, whose behavior and expressions through posts exhibit all those qualities you've described and attributed to devo's. The overt, in your face, devo's are not so dangerous, as they put their cards out there for you to see and for you to choose. It is the latter, the less obvious and more conniving, who people need to be more worried about. These are the ones more likely to exploit others' vulnerabilities and insecurities, and of others' needs in effort to secure their own needs. These are the one's more likely to take advantage of others' difficulties to satisfy their own perversions and use other's perceived weaknesses to soothe their own extreme insecurity and self-doubt.
Totally agree!

One question Chick. I've heard you say before that you are surprised by the devos who have been 'accepted' by members. I don't suppose you'd care to name names - whether in public or by PM? I wouldn't mind if CC had a sticky thread in the members forum listing known devos. That way, it's our informed choice if we wish to converse with these individuals.

Chris.

[abrooks311]

Spank my leggs!!!! SPANK MY LEGGS!!!!! OOOO YEAAA

[kkmay]

I am up for a Devo. As long as she's cute.