1 Fine Spine RN
11-28-2002, 04:54 AM
Now and again we come to a crossroads in life and we all have to choose our path. If I could draw a picture of roadmap I have been travelling these past months it would be something to see! Scary but interesting. I always like to pause on Thanksgiving morning and think about what it is I really have to be thankful for...this year was easier and harder all at the same time. First thing I thought of this morning was my children of course..then next to treasure my current wellness and mobility. This is easy because now that I am involved in all of this I think about that all the time. I feel as though I have split myself in many directions this year. It was entirely necessary at the time and so I did what I had to do. Much easier to compartmentalize aspects of life than to face it all head on. For those who don't know, I have recently been going through a horrible and acrimonious divorce proceeding. This is a difficult year long process....and I have had to change myself dramatically as a result...I think I put a good part of my brain on the back burner as a MECHANISM of defence...I think I chose to reside in places in myself that were once hidden and compromised by my past. Some of you are aware of this. Through the past year you have all seen me go from a scared unsure nursing student to a self-assured full fledged Registered Nurse. I have gone from a shy quiet non-assertive woman to ---well I don't think I'm so shy anymore! Many people ask me what I want to do next....career wise I'm not so sure... I have an idea, and I need to figure a way to make it happen for me and my kids...so I am thankful that I still get ideas everyday! I am at a crossroads of my thinking in all ways it seems ...many people who I listen to all the time for my life have converged on me this week and I think that my biggest point of thankfulness for today is that I am a survivor. Sometimes there are parts of our beings that are starved for attention and need a little focus...I am no stranger to that...this morning when the sun came up I saw things just a bit differently...and I think the lens has shifted and I see things in just a bit of a different light. I am thankful for when I crash into walls, hit the floor and get back up again. Usually when I hit a barrier at full speed it shatters with me...then I get up and it is gone. This morning I got up again....no more tears....no more regrets....no more whining and complaining....I will admit it here my life is good now...and it is going to only get better. I am thankful for that!!!! Here is a list of the few that I am thankful for this morning who have held out their hands to help me along the way in the past two years...I still cannot believe that I fell into the company of seated individuals to learn to take my stand but that is what happened....Steve Crowder...aka Nick Danger I know you lurk around here....just admit it!!! I am thankful for you your boot print is forever imprinted on my bottom!
Debbie7-----God girl you got guts....I love you.
Vgrafen------thanks for kicking you know what you know when!!
PN aka Paul Nussbaum....You are the best.....Hows tricks?
DA---alright alright I DON'T UNDERSTAND...this much i get...SCISUCKS
oops i have to drive out of here now.....and more to come tonight later!
Happy Thanksgiving ALL
Mary
I am so far behind I think I am first....
Debbie7-----God girl you got guts....I love you.
Vgrafen------thanks for kicking you know what you know when!!
PN aka Paul Nussbaum....You are the best.....Hows tricks?
DA---alright alright I DON'T UNDERSTAND...this much i get...SCISUCKS
oops i have to drive out of here now.....and more to come tonight later!
Happy Thanksgiving ALL
Mary
I am so far behind I think I am first....