Disclose cause of injury? & Nosy + lippy RN

[betheny]

Not sure where to put this, seemed more a Life than Care issue.

Since my ankle repair 12-3, Medicare has been sending a random agency nurse over weekly. Yesterday this 29-yrs-or-so girl arrives, sneer of distaste in place because my home is in disarray and smells like an ashtray. (I'm guessing. I realize I may be projecting, but I do that all day every day lately. She was def sneering, her motives remain unclear.)

(Note: Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get you.)

She walks in, surveys my slightly full ashtrays, and says "You have trouble breathing? Or you just like to smoke?"

A: That makes no sense, on this or any planet, regardless of my paranoia! No logical progression to the statement.

B. This is my house. I think my problem there is obvious. I'm not a militant smoker (I don't think) but...THIS IS MY HOUSE.

C. I could put a lot under C. Waste of tax dollars, just for a start. I needed a nurse to check on me 3X a week, the first 2 or 3 weeks.

I said "No trouble breathing, Yes I like to smoke."

She takes her time, perusing my chart. And she GRILLS me. Wants to know about cathing, bowels etc. I'm thinking "Sweetheart, if those issues had relied upon your department, I'd have floated down a river of pee 2 months ago, before or after I blew up in a shitstorm!" She was trying to show her knowledge of SCI to co-workers, I reckon.

She lost me at "What caused your injury?"

I hesitated, and for the 1st time in 10.5 years, said "Ya know...As I just said, it was 10.5 years ago."

She said "Am I being nosy?"

I said "Yes."

So she dropped it.

I think the fact she dropped it proves that she knew she was crossing a line, the one between relevance and nosiness. But she proceeded to get frostier until she finally went away. By this time I was sitting on the floor w/ my back to her, straightening.

ROFL. In retrospect, that was less than hospitable. My bad. :nana::doh:

Do we think they have the right to ask HOW we were injured, 10.5 years later? Do we have the right of refusal?

I say No and Yes. I didn't lie, but I am not answering that damned nosy question any more.

I'm still on bedrest, basically. It's making me nuts! WAYYYY too much introspection.

I didn't need a visit from the Nursing Interventionist. Or the Interventionist Nurse, for that matter. Gawdamighty.

TYVM for allowing me to spout and brood in public, for a change!

[MarkB701]

I think......(uh oh, takes a medium/deep breath).....that you just came into contact with a younger version of you. And you realized that the 29 year old you would walk into the XX year old you's house and have the exact same reaction.

She has everything you had. Youth, independance, smarts and judgement. She remained professional, but even you could sense what she was hiding.......because you recognised it from yourself.

Ok, that was a pure, uneducated guess....am I way of base? :angel:

[Millard]

Hello friend,

I want to stay on your good side.
:beer2:
Have a great day!

[Timaru]

Just check my ankle kid then shut the door on yer way out.

[LaMemChose]

Over the line that one was.

B, share as much or as little as you want. You're neither the one woman Answer Ma'am to any question posed nor owe anyone else an explanation as to why your body is how it is.

You could have told her you broke your neck in a freak accident involving too many cigarettes.

There are times I answer more questions about my body than others. After 49 years of telling people the why of my what, I'm over it. I still cut that wide berth for children, older people and other dis peeps. John/Jane Q Public experiencing near morbid curiosity of the highest order? No.

Ask for a different nurse from that agency. If it was the first time you've seen her since December, chances are someone else could come.

[Eileen]

Yes, you have a right to keep the means of your disability to yourself. That is not what she was sent over to evaluate, and clearly was being both nosy and intrusive. As for the cigs, she many have been having a moment of zealotry over health habits, but again, it is not her call or her business. There is something about having a disability that seems to give a segment of the population a feeling of entitlement when it comes to asking questions that are too invasive, too personal. She picked the wrong person to take that approach with, and good for you for letting her know because now she might think twice with the next person she wants to grill.

[betheny]

I think......(uh oh, takes a medium/deep breath).....that you just came into contact with a younger version of you. And you realized that the 29 year old you would walk into the XX year old you's house and have the exact same reaction.

She has everything you had. Youth, independance, smarts and judgement. She remained professional, but even you could sense what she was hiding.......because you recognised it from yourself.

Ok, that was a pure, uneducated guess....am I way of base? :angel:

Seriously? THAT is your takeaway from that rant? I have lost the gift of communication entirely!

My point was that she lacked smarts, and judgment! She was UNPROFESSIONAL! You nailed what I was trying to say exactly, and more concisely...except exactly wrong!

Sheesh, is it Opposite Day?

She also lacked something we oldtimers used to call "Manners", back in the 20th century. I was not raised to sneer at my elders, nor at the customer, no matter who that customer might be.

I've drawn blood from hookers and junkies, in my day. That was my job. I reserved judgment for when I'd clocked out.

Thanks, MEM, I was wondering if I could request she not visit me again.

[marycsm77]

Just because she is a nurse doesn't give her the right to interrogate you, nor does it give her "bitch rights". If she ever comes back, tell her to do her thing and throw her ass out.

[betheny]

Also, if anyone thinks of a non-bitchy way for me to express this:

"It was a lifetime ago, I'm tired of talking about it, I've had this conversation a thousand times".

Please hook a sistah up.

I plan to move soon, which means another round with that question. :banghead: I'm not ashamed, I'm bored. (And to the needlessly nosy, I'm offended, but we can leave that part out.)

To me, it's like asking someone you just met "Why did you get divorced 10.5 years ago?" Just an unbelievable social faux pas.

[Eileen]

Also, if anyone thinks of a non-bitchy way for me to express this:

"It was a lifetime ago, I'm tired of talking about it, I've had this conversation a thousand times".

Please hook a sistah up.

I plan to move soon, which means another round with that question. :banghead: I'm not ashamed, I'm bored. (And to the needlessly nosy, I'm offended, but we can leave that part out.)

"Does it really make a difference? I have to live with the injury everyday of my life, so I do not dwell on the past."

[Timaru]

"It was an accident."

Short, concise and to the point, if they're not satisfied with that tell 'em to mind their own business!

[McDuff]

Betheny,

Turning it around on them does wonders.

"How were you injured?"

"Why do you need to know?"

Usually leaves them flustered and sputtering.

[marycsm77]

Well if you want to be nice and get the message across you could say something like this; "Well nurse I'm sure you have to listen to war stories all the time, and I don't like to re-live it over and over, so I will spare you the gory details". Then just smile, she/he will get the message. If they don't get that message than your free to "go off" how ever you like:)

[betheny]

OMG, you guys rock. Been trying to think of these comebacks for YEARS!!!

[MarkB701]

Well if you want to be nice and get the message across you could say something like this; "Well nurse I'm sure you have to listen to war stories all the time, and I don't like to re-live it over and over, so I will spare you the gory details". Then just smile, she/he will get the message. If they don't get that message than your free to "go off" how ever you like:)


or be cryptical...."well, let's just call it an "accident"....even if what I was doing is illegal in 17 states. The way I see it is that if she didn't like that kind of thing she should have sat someone else on the bus....." and leave it at that.

[gjnl]

Also, if anyone thinks of a non-bitchy way for me to express this:

"It was a lifetime ago, I'm tired of talking about it, I've had this conversation a thousand times".

Please hook a sistah up.

I plan to move soon, which means another round with that question. :banghead: I'm not ashamed, I'm bored. (And to the needlessly nosy, I'm offended, but we can leave that part out.)

To me, it's like asking someone you just met "Why did you get divorced 10.5 years ago?" Just an unbelievable social faux pas.

With a little bit of chocking up in your voice and the slight glisten of a tear in your eyes, "Please, I'd rather not relive it" or "I'd rather not talk about it."

All the best,
GJ

[TomRL]

Usually I tell people "a car accident long ago, but I don't remember much about it". If I am in a flip mood I tell them I was involved in a crash involving a Spitfire but can't recall details. Only old timers and car buffs remember the Triumph Spitfire. Probably a few people think I was an RAF pilot. Those are the people with no clear idea of when WWII was fought. Think I wandered off topic. In your case I I'd ask her if that information is relevant.

[gpbullock]

You should have said, "It wasn't from smoking."

[Kris]

I love being asked what happened to me and I give a different answer every time with a straight face: "I fell off the CN Tower", "I was put in a garbage truck as a baby and my legs got squished", "There is nothing wrong with me, I'm just lazy and hate to walk" or "What? You think there is something wrong with me?" The best part about this is that you can see in their face while they try to determine if you are serious or not.

[GRAMMY]

Only old timers and car buffs remember the Triumph Spitfire. Probably a few people think I was an RAF pilot.

:laughabv: That's a good one Tom. I'm not a car buff, so I resent the old timer implication there. :lol: (I'm restoring an Austin Healey right now).

But seriously, for most the car accident and I hurt my back is good enough (simple to the point). However, the social gaff and lip curled up sneering judgement session would warrant a more testy response that you only discuss it on a need to know basis.

[flicka]

She lost me at "What caused your injury?"
You should have told her how you injuried your ankle and acted like nothing else was "different" about you. :)

[GL]

Good morning betheny

I paraphrase nosey ppls questions and turn their questions aimed at them


For instance
if someone asked me how I broke my ankle
i'd probably say a thing like we'll I while I was weight lifting for the mrs strong hold handicapped nude calendar photo was trying to call you and the phone slipped out of out of my hands accidentaly

I use my eroneous sense of humor to my advantage

[LindaT]

Oh Bethany, I had been wondering how you were.
Good grief, that sounds like something stupid one of Dave's young uneducated aides would say or do.
I would expect more from a actual nurse.
Smoking is none of her business unless she was there for a total health assessment.
And really, how you were injured has nothing to do with the reason she was there-unless she wanted to know how your ANKLE was injured.
Maybe after she knew you better or you were having a friendly conversation and seemed open about the topic there was no reason for her to ask.
Sorry this is turning into such an ordeal.

[t8burst]

I tell people I broke my back trying to autofellate myself. Usually shuts them up.

[smokymtn memories]

Straight up........what "happened" to you has nothing to do with the broken ankle, which she was there to check on......

It was'nt that long ago I was putting up with the home health care people. I had one that did'nt get backed out of my drive way before I was calling and requesting she never come back! Pretty much for the same type of reasons. I smoke......I know I should'nt smoke......I spend a lot time in my house, I'm sorry I can't clean anymore so you can't tell a smoker lives here. But....it's my house.

Why I had surgery was none of her business, the first visit was done by the supervisor and she took all the personal info that was needed and it was entered into the laptop for all concerned. All she was responsible for was the treatment involved. If she does'nt like the work she does........get out of it.....don't be rude to me with an attitude. I figured I did'nt need to take it, and if she was to be my nurse, take me off of your list. The agency said it was no problem, they would make sure she did'nt return. I don't really care if I got her in trouble. I'd hate for her to be helping someone who was afraid to stick up for themsleves. This girl even wanted me to do pt that I knew my neuro did'nt want me doing yet, and she was mad when I told her no. I knew it was too soon according to my doctor's orders.

I did'nt want home visits in the first place, I sure did'nt need a little witch with an attitude. I have children and I don't take that kind crap from them, I'm sure not going to take it from someone I'm paying!

[canuck]

She definately for sure was asking about the cause of the SCI and not the ankle injury? Sorry the way I read your post it could be either way. Guess it's one of those you had to be there things.

She definately needs a attitude adjustment regardless.

[LaMemChose]

Betheny,

Turning it around on them does wonders.

"How were you injured?"

"Why do you need to know?"

Usually leaves them flustered and sputtering.

McD is spot on. My reply for the needlessly intrusive is, "I cannot imagine why anyone would ask such a question. Can you?"

Generally it will stop such a person in her or his tracks. If not, silence and direct eye contact can be highly effective.

Lather, rinse, repeat as necessary.

[LaMemChose]

I think......(uh oh, takes a medium/deep breath).....that you just came into contact with a younger version of you. And you realized that the 29 year old you would walk into the XX year old you's house and have the exact same reaction.

She has everything you had. Youth, independance, smarts and judgement. She remained professional, but even you could sense what she was hiding.......because you recognised it from yourself.

Ok, that was a pure, uneducated guess....am I way of base? :angel:

Totally off base.

You apparently don't know Betheny, who is quite beautiful, intelligent, independent, smart and of most sound judgment.

That younger woman can only hope to be B when she grows up.

[offroaderswife]

I just say "long story" or if I'm in a playful mood I tell them a horrific unbelievable story that they can't fathom. I have several stories that I rotate around. If my husband is present then I tell them that he got carried away when he beat me up one night. I love the look on their face when I say it. He usually follows it up with a very manly voice and says "I was raised to beat your woman once a week". Too funny. Of course he has never been anything but good to me. He sometimes says "it was a terrible sex accident". We have freaked a lot of people out.

[rdf]

Next time, say "You tell me how you got that stick so far up your ass, and I'll tell you about my accident. You go first."

[marycsm77]

betheny,

You've certainly got a lot of suggestions here, lol. I think you have to use what works for you. I don't know you, but have read some of your threads and you seem to have a good sense of humor, for sure. That is why i suggested getting to the point but peppering it with just a bit of humor. This way you convey your message with the "non-bitchy" tone that you wished to convey it and you don't create any tension either.

[gjnl]

I have a friend who lost a leg in a farming accident. He uses a pair of old wooden crutches, does not use an artificial limb, and get around better than most people his age. But, I have been with him a number of times when strangers just have walked up to him and asked him what happened. He replies, "I got run over by a catapiller" (obviously by a tractor manufactured by the company that makes farm equipment, not the larval form of a moth or butterfly). But, for a moment it is a most disarming answer. He doesn't explain further, and most times, people walk (sometimes back away) with the most quizziical look on their faces.

All the best,
GJ

[rfbdorf]

I like the simple "I had an accident" suggested above.

The nurse was being unnecessarily nosy, but was probably unaware that the cause of your SCI has nothing to do with your present needs; I expect she just thought she was being thorough.

On the whole, Carolyn had good experiences with the home health nurses who came to our house every 3 weeks. Almost always the same person for a couple of years each, and they became very friendly.

[NorthQuad]

Totally off base.

You apparently don't know Betheny, who is quite beautiful, intelligent, independent, smart and of most sound judgment.

That younger woman can only hope to be B when she grows up.

Quoted for truth.

[LindaT]

How are you doing otherwise Bethany? Sic your Dingo on her of she comes again!

[Le Type Français]

She walks in, surveys my slightly full ashtrays, and says "You have trouble breathing? Or you just like to smoke?"

A: That makes no sense, on this or any planet, regardless of my paranoia! No logical progression to the statement.

No shit! I can't make sense of that either.

[betheny]

Awww, thanks La Mem and North Quad!

That 1st response reminded me of an incident. At a time that CC was still swarming a certain attractive, troubled young woman, I saw red flags. I tried to explain why. A close male friend IMMEDIATELY went to "You're just jealous." What's more, he kept and defended that position for a year or 2!

I was honestly gobsmacked. That girl stirred some emotions in me, for sure. Pity, scorn and genuine alarm on several fronts, to start.

In due time, she was revealed to be all I'd feared and more. This time HE was gobsmacked. "Ida sworn you were just jealous of her beauty, youth, the attention she was getting..."

His assessment of me was unflattering LOL. But that girl became a tragedy. I never wanted her life...

"We old women aren't always covetous hags" was the moral of Today's Storytime. Now getcher juice boxes and nap mats! :D

[Patty41]

I agree, she was over steeping her bounds. The point of a home nursing visit is to assess your needs and see what can be done to help you--the patient, thrive and get better, not add more stress to the situation. Sorry for the bad experience!!

[crypticgimp]

yes! that's it! betheny is rly the wicked witch of gimpdom who just seethes with anger at the very site of any woman younger than her... NOT. u had every right to be angry and offended. why be a nurse if ur gonna constantly judge ur clients? yea the smell of smoke is gross but honestly, it's that person's home and u suck it up and deal. ppl piss me off. it's bad enough to need home health, let alone be condescended upon.

[feisty]

bethenny's not a bitch... err witch?

coulda fooled me!




















glad to see you around again.
xo

[Mac85]

:thumbsup:LMAO - Love this thread - I laughed so hard at some of your responses to the - how were you injured question. THANKS :friday:

[lynnifer]

"we old women aren't always covetous hags" was the moral of today's storytime. Now getcher juice boxes and nap mats! :d

lmao!!!

[darkeyed_daisy]

I would have looked at her with my most serious face and said "what injury are you referring to?" "I don't remember any injury". "You mean I was injured and they didn't tell me?"

I would have been just as flippant or more so than she was.

You are absolutely right. You are still "her" customer whether you smoke, shit, puke, fart, burp, pee, breath fire, or grow horns and she darn well better act like it!

[tumbleweeds]

She walks in, surveys my slightly full ashtrays, and says "You have trouble breathing? Or you just like to smoke?""Not only do I enjoy smoking but stick around and I'll likely burst into flames"

[darkeyed_daisy]

"Not only do I enjoy smoking but stick around and I'll likely burst into flames"

Best one YET!!!

[GRAMMY]

Ok Betheny...you've gotten lots of input and advise here! Just for fun, I think we should have your vote now. For the response to the nurse... Fill in the blank of the members name.

1. Sweetest Response: _____________
2. Best Nasty Response: ____________
3. Quick Easy Response: ____________
4. Most Effective Response:__________
5. Funniest Response:_______________
6. Strangest Response: _____________
7. Best Response you will use _________

You should be the judge. Here's your moment. LOL :rotfl:

(I'm just hoping to make you smile!)

[jody]

I tell people I broke my back trying to autofellate myself. Usually shuts them up.

I hardly every look at tv. I did today, and I saw a manitee doing that. Holy Sea Cow Batman!



I didnt make that up, but I do often tell people made up ways I got injured. her I would have just said I had an accident. Im not sure why she needed all that info. she would not have been responsible for b and b needs.
her wrinkled nose though, well my only request when my roomie borrows my car is to not smoke in it. and he doesnt understand how I can tell he did. It stinks and their are ashes on the dash and in the door handles and in the window groove. the smell is so strong to me that It makes me sick sometimes to smell it. since I have to live there and pay my half I feel I can be assertive about requireing smoking outside. However going to someone elses house, even if Im sick on the smell, I would not snear, or comment.

that chick should have more respect for one, but she sounds like she didnt even have enough self respect to not not be rude in every way.
did she even say hello, or is she the kind that comes in, looks around with an expression like someone just put a dab of shit in the end of her nose?
Betheny you been around long enough to know when someone is looking down their wrinkled up nose at you. and a you acted accordingly. I think if you treated everyone like you were to her, their might be room for more effort in the being nice to folks department, but well it seems like you can only meet so many of a certain kind of person before it kinda gets a certain kind of reaction from a body. ..... Fck er. maybe next time she comes over maybe you can be nice. dont lose any sleep over it.

[jody]

love tumbleweeds reply.

[duge]

It always pisses me off so much when someone mentions my smoking! I know I need to quit but......someone always on your ass about it just puts me in the defyance mode!!! and YES I do get tired of people I don't know asking What happened to you? ..........and really thinking about what someone else said here about telling people "well I got hurt having Kinky sex!" get undressed and I'll show you what happened! :homeranm:

[GRAMMY]

telling people "well I got hurt having Kinky sex!" get undressed and I'll show you what happened! :homeranm:

duge, love your sense of humor. :laughabv:

[wazabiker]

"Thomosio and I were sky diving over Majorica. While free-falling at speeds close to 150mph, at about 1200 feet we deployed our chutes and began a lazy but beautiful descent to to earth. Out of nowhere a rogue wind gust sucked the air from his chute. My only option was to get below Thomosio and allow his athletec, firm body to to use my chute as a pillow. Of course I knew this was a dangerous move, but how else to save the scrumptous T, even if it meant sacrificing my own goddess-like body. You can only imagine the skill and courage it took for me to carrry out this mission.

The earth raced toward us at break neck, and I mean BREAK NECK speed. Knowing the magnificient T would be spared gave me complete solace. I barely felt the impact as i was shielded from the ensuing pain knowing my precious T would be unscathed.

As we were both married, continuing our steamy affiair was unwise and impossible. Thomosio was a highly successful businessman in Venice. He paid my hospital bills and rehab expenses in an efort to get as much return as possible from my C-4 SCI.

My wonderful T continues, to this day, deposting $20,000 monthly in my Oklahoma City bank account.

Does this satisfy your unnecessary and rude need to know.?

[tooley]

"What caused your injury?"

I absolutely hate when people start conversations with me like this. It's akin to asking "what's wrong with you?"

I usually say I was abducted by aliens. 99% of the time it leaves them speechless. That's if I'm in a good mood. If I'm not I'll tear into them like I hate their parents. "Didn't your mother ever tell you to mind your own business?"

..oh and you don't even have to explain about RN's being lippy. My "primary" nurse in rehab was such a rancid bitch I just wanted to punch her in the neck everytime she opened her mouth.

[Donno]

Wow, Betheny - you started a real shitstorm! I like the old standby, "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."

Don :)

[alan]

Reply - "I hit (was hit by) the middle finger of (choose one) Satan, God, Mother Nature, Fickle Finger of Fate, alien being."

[zillazangel]

It was kinda funny because I broke my foot about 3 years ago, and so Chad was in a giant powerchair and I was hobbled up on crutches, so we were quite the sight. When asked what happened, the first question was "to which one of us" and the answer, from either of us, was "Tandem sky diving accident" ... which never failed to crack us up because people believed us. *snicker* The truth was a) walking down the sidewalk and face planted for absolutely no discernible reason and b) diving accident. If you know me, you'll know for sure which of those was me as I are mucho extra clutzy.

[all-buggered-up]

Birth, accident, birth, other disability, don't know, possible gene flaw, don't know. I am multiply disabled.

[LindaT]

Dave doesn't mind if people ask. We have had some interesting conversations and met some nice people.
I would not like it if a nurse came in our home and was critical though.

[Patty41]

[QUOTE=darkeyed_daisy;1316172]I would have looked at her with my most serious face and said "what injury are you referring to?" "I don't remember any injury". "You mean I was injured and they didn't tell me?"

I would have been just as flippant or more so than she was.


:rofl: :rofl:

[brocko]

I reckon if people want to know they need to reciprocate - "If you want to know about the most devastating thing that has ever happened to me then you need to start by telling me about about the very worst thing that ever happened to you. If you're not prepared to show me yours then don't expect me to show you mine".

Alternatively give her the sort of look you might give a junkie relative who has hit you up for $150 to get his 'brakes fixed' and say nothing, nothing at all.

[Le Type Français]

I reckon if people want to know they need to reciprocate - "If you want to know about the most devastating thing that has ever happened to me then you need to start by telling me about about the very worst thing that ever happened to you. If you're not prepared to show me yours then don't expect me to show you mine".


Haha! That gave me an idea.

"First, tell me how you were molested." When the nurse or person says, "Excuse me?" You say, "Exactly!"

[My395]

"Thomosio and I were sky diving over Majorica. While free-falling at speeds close to 150mph, at about 1200 feet we deployed our chutes and began a lazy but beautiful descent to to earth. Out of nowhere a rogue wind gust sucked the air from his chute. My only option was to get below Thomosio and allow his athletec, firm body to to use my chute as a pillow. Of course I knew this was a dangerous move, but how else to save the scrumptous T, even if it meant sacrificing my own goddess-like body. You can only imagine the skill and courage it took for me to carrry out this mission.

The earth raced toward us at break neck, and I mean BREAK NECK speed. Knowing the magnificient T would be spared gave me complete solace. I barely felt the impact as i was shielded from the ensuing pain knowing my precious T would be unscathed.

As we were both married, continuing our steamy affiair was unwise and impossible. Thomosio was a highly successful businessman in Venice. He paid my hospital bills and rehab expenses in an efort to get as much return as possible from my C-4 SCI.

My wonderful T continues, to this day, deposting $20,000 monthly in my Oklahoma City bank account.

Does this satisfy your unnecessary and rude need to know.?


Awesome!!!

[PaidMyDues]

I would have looked at her with my most serious face and said "what injury are you referring to?" "I don't remember any injury". "You mean I was injured and they didn't tell me?"

I would have been just as flippant or more so than she was.

You are absolutely right. You are still "her" customer whether you smoke, shit, puke, fart, burp, pee, breath fire, or grow horns and she darn well better act like it!
That reminds me of a Monty Python skit:

Nurse: "What caused your injury?"

You: "What injury?"

Nurse: "That injury! Why you're in a wheelchair?"

You: "I'm not in a wheelchair."

Nurse: "Yes you are!"

You: "No I'm not!"

[quad79]

I keep saying that the next time I'm asked, I WILL say it was a blow job gone wrong. Never do though..

I hate the nosiness too. Sometimes I wonder if it's just small talk though. However, I'd rather be addressed by or about someting other than the 'ole disability. Like in this case, my healing broken ankle.

[duge]

I keep saying that the next time I'm asked, I WILL say it was a blow job gone wrong. Never do though..

I hate the nosiness too. Sometimes I wonder if it's just small talk though. However, I'd rather be addressed by or about someting other than the 'ole disability. Like in this case, my healing broken ankle.



lol hate to say but a couple yrs ago a girl was killed about 2 miles from where I live, he hit a car head on and well...... her head was crushed from the steering wheel!:no:

[Millard]

For a few years after my injury, it would make the hair stand up on my neck when someone would ask about my injury. After a few years, I realized that many people don't understand about SCI. When I told them I broke my neck, they couldn't believe I was still living. (Hollywood kills people by breaking necks!!!) I live in a tourist town and I volunteer at the National Park Service here and people love it when I talk to them...especially when I tell them why I use a power chair. They then ask some questions about SCI they had heard but didn't know if they were true. They are surprised when I can move my legs and that I have feeling all the way to my toes. We then talk about the local places to visit. These people often send cards to me at the park service thanking me for taking time to talk to them. Many say they'll see me next fall when they again head south for the winter.

I try to put myself in their place. When I was working at an automotive dealership, I had a guy come in limping and had a KAFO on his leg. I got up from my desk with my crutches, went to the window and asked him why he walked so funny. He laughed and told me he'd had polio. Then asked why I walked so funny! I ended up selling (Dr. Sanders) a $79,000 car.

I try to leave impressions that we (SCI's) are regular people that had an unfortunate accident but I still think, eat and have feelings like everyone else. When I do get angry now is when my wife are somewhere (example Dr. office) and they give directions or instructions to my wife, talking over my head. I have to remind them to speak to me. I am the one coming back, I am the driver I pay the bills.

That's about all I have to say on this...I promise. :applaud:

[woman from Europe]

I honestly don't know what to say when people are asking because I don't know. It just happened one Sunday morning. I don't even know why and have nothing to tell. And it is not my dream telling about the fear I felt when I lost the function in my legs in two hours.

[Eileen]

I have often fantasized about coming up with some giant whopper of a lie that just sounded a hell of a lot more interesting that diving. Somehow I can never do it when the time comes, although if it is someone asking in a nosy way instead of a truly interested way I have occasionally just used the phrase "high dive, low tide."

[jackiegarriga]

:amen::amen::amen:Amen to all the strong sci-ed women out there-We might have lost our ability to walk,but not our ability to remind ab bitches to watch their mouth!!!!!!

[careca]

we are all different... In any case, here is my opinion:
do not waste your time and energy, at least more than what is needed, with experiences with the type of people like that nurse. There are many people like that, and they are not only nurses, sometimes they are some who call themselves our friends.
What I am trying to say is that we already have so many obstacles, physical and emotional. For myself, I try to focus on the people I like and on the things I like to do, that helps me channel my energy into good things and good people.

I know I'm always running into mean people, those who lack of a sensitivity necessary to understand people like myself and you for that matter.

we can't avoid them, but we can forget them... and fairly fast.

[lynnifer]

Having Transverse Myelitis, I see it as an opportunity to educate.

I still run into ~40% who have never heard of it. It was easily 95% when I was 12. Quite an improvement.

If I run into a nurse like that, I just shut right down and do what needs to be done. I've been lucky though and can't say I've had too many bad experiences.

In fact they're now sending male nurses to my home (my foot is still giving me trouble after being healed this summer)! Should make the hysterectomy and foley bag conversations interesting ... LOL! "Wanna check it?"

[LindaT]

Today we had a plumber come over to change out 2 faucets. Since Dave could fix just about anything before his accident it was an extra jab.
When he was telling us what was wrong I asked him to explain it to Dave as he used to be a pipefitter before his accident.The plumber then asked what happened.
It turns out the plumber has a degenerative spine condition and only works part time doing light jobs now. He and Dave had a good conversation about the trades, pain, doctors and SCI.
But I agree, that nurse in the OP was rude.