View Full Version : I'm going to be a Dad!
04-30-2005, 07:56 AM
My wife and I are adopting a 15-month-old little girl from China and we finally got our referral with pictures! My wife and mother-in-law should be going to China to get her sometime in June. I really wish I could go, but being a C5 quadriplegic in a power wheelchair would be extremely tough. Not to mention the flight which is over 20 hours and my care.
I am now 34 and have been injured for almost 11 years. I too had some conflicting feelings about raising a child. Five years ago my wife and I were going to fertility doctors trying to get pregnant. She's wanted to be a mom since she was a kid. I worried if we had a son how that would be. My father was the biggest influence on me growing up. I worried about not being able to teach him the things my father taught me because I am unable to use my hands. After failed attempts to get pregnant we decided to adopt. When you adopt from China you are pretty much sure to get a girl. As time went by I started thinking about all the cool things I could do with a little girl. I started thinking about games and storytelling and how much I can offer her education wise. I realize my physical limitations will play a part, but we are just going to take things as they come.
We know it's not going to be easy, but there are so many positives. She will have a lot of love and I figure the best thing I can do is to try to educate her and be there for her.
We received pictures of her about a week ago and I can't explain the impact it's had on our lives already. We can't wait to bring her home. Here are the pictures of her, Alexandra (http://www.s88193409.onlinehome.us/alexandra/). Isn't she adorable? http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif
04-30-2005, 08:17 AM
OMG! She is so adorable! I'm so happy for you! I'm sure you will love being a dad. Congratulations to you and your wife! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif
Alive for 35 years
T4/5 complete for 26 years
Mom for 7 years
04-30-2005, 10:28 AM
She is! She has a beautiful name also. Congrats!
Kansas girls put the HEAT in wheat...
congratulations she is beautiful i have 2 kids they make your world.
04-30-2005, 01:14 PM
What a beautiful little girl, Robin. Congradulations! Enjoy every second of her and know that growing up with you will make her stronger, more compassionate and will open doors that you never thought of.
04-30-2005, 05:58 PM
Congratulations!!! You will have very different feelings about everything once she is with you... She will become the center of the universe for you and everything will be plant accordingly. She is going to be the only thing that really matters... But enjoy it. The smiles and laughs and those tiny hugs are very rewarding!!!!
Good luck to you and congrats again"
Wow, just wow! She's gorgeous, and so lucky to have a great dad waiting to welcome her home. Good job, Robin! Please keep us updated on her arrival.
Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it. - Mark Twain
05-01-2005, 02:37 PM
Congrats - great news! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/cool.gif
05-01-2005, 04:10 PM
Congratuations Daddy, Alexandra is one special little girl...she is also going to be a "pistol" that picture with the pig tails says it all...Good luck and play plenty...
Congrat's Mom and Dad, your gonna be in trouble now...he he he..
05-01-2005, 05:00 PM
Congratulations to you and your wife. Wow. What a beautiful baby.
My daughters were 10 and 12 when I was injured in 2000 (I'm c4/c5) I thought at first it would have been much easier had I not survived my accident (the whole "less of a burden" thought process). Gradually, though, we adjusted and learned how to be a faimily doing things in alternative ways. I can't run around on soccer fields coaching anymore or help create props and sew costumes for drumline (my Mom and sister, Theresa, fill in with the physical "Mom" stuff for me, for which I am grateful). But, I'm there for the important stuff--just to be able to listen and guide is tremendously important. Yes, it's hard not being able to do some things, but, what is, is.
Best of luck. Enjoy your journey!
"Either you decide to stay in the shallow end of the pool or you go out in the ocean." C. Reeve
05-01-2005, 06:16 PM
What a wonderful gift your giving to this child, and to yourselves. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif
Take your hands off my MOJO http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif
05-01-2005, 08:19 PM
Wonderful .. wonderful! Alexandra .. such a lovely name! Of course the reason they start out so cute and we fall in love with them is so we don't give them away when they become teenagers http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif ..
05-02-2005, 06:45 AM
Awesome! I have 3 friends who have all adopted baby girls from China and they are all gorgeous and doing great. Congrats!
"Your children make it impossible to regret your past"
05-02-2005, 12:04 PM
Thank you all for the kind words. Today my wife received her Chinese visa and will most likely be leaving sometime in June to get Alexandra. I will definitely post more when we know more and pictures when she is here!
05-02-2005, 12:48 PM
congrats! she's beautiful lil girl! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif
" The best way to predict the future is to invent it."
- Alan Kay
05-03-2005, 03:17 PM
Gorgeous girl, but aren't they all? My sister adopted a 2 year-old girl from China also. She is very sweet. I have a 21 month old and trust me, it's too cool. It will change you greatly... for the better. Good luck and good times.
06-21-2005, 07:30 PM
Congrats!! Is she home yet?
Raising a teenager is like trying to nail Jell-o to a tree.
I'm sure you'll make great parents! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif
06-23-2005, 06:47 AM
Congratulations! I am sure with your enthusiasm that you will be a great Dad. Your daughter is a darling!
Good luck and enjoy.
"Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence." Lin Yutang
06-23-2005, 09:00 AM
Beautiful, you'll be just fine.
06-27-2005, 08:24 PM
For anyone out there debating whether or not to have children post SCI, do not let any physical limitation hold you back. It is so cool! Our daughter, (along with my wife and mother-in-law), safely arrived in the United States on the 18th of June. At first Allie did not want anything to do with anyone besides her mother or grandmother. I started to feel discouraged at first and now look back over last 10 days and see how ridiculous those thoughts were. I feel we are bonding very well and we play all kinds of little games together. She is adapting so well to the changes in her life and has opened up so much it's amazing. She is so smart and already knows how to pass things to me whether it's putting a toy on my hand or bring it to my lap so that I can have it. My wife's father flew down to stay with us last Friday and her parents will be leaving Florida together to go back to their home in New Mexico this Wednesday the 29th. That will be yet another change, but the three of us together alone as a family. That's when the bonding will get even better. My parents live nearby and we have a couple of friends who would lend a hand if we ever needed help with things.
Here are some more pictures in a gallery that I will update as time goes by.
If anyone has any questions or would like to know more about our situation please ask. We started the adoption process about a year ago after numerous failed fertility attempts. Long story short, we reached a point where we could spend several thousand dollars a pop on procedures where the success rate would still be less than favorable of achieving a successful pregnancy or consider adoption. We decided on the latter obviously and to go international. EVERYTHING included was just about $20,000. We now have a beautiful and healthy 17 month old daughter and we don't feel as if we have missed a thing. We feel it is such a small price for what we have in return and she is a perfect age.
Anyway, that's the update! Thanks for all your kind replies.
06-27-2005, 08:58 PM
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