Children's notes to God!

[Max]

They are notes a teacher asked her class to write to God. They are for your daily smile.
Dear God
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset You made on Tuesday. That was cool.

Dear God
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You keep the ones You already have?

Dear God
Maybe Cain and Abel would not have killed each other if they had their own rooms. That's what my Mom did for me and my brother.

Dear God
If You watch me in church on Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes.

Dear God
I bet it is very hard to love everyone in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I'm having a hard time loving all of them..

Dear God
In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation?

Dear God
Are You really invisible or is it just a trick?

Dear God
Is it true my father won't get into heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?

Dear God
Did You mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?

Dear God
Who draws the lines around the countries?

Dear God
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in the church. Is that OK?

Dear God
Did You really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if You did, then I'm going to get my brother good.

Dear God
Thank You for the baby brother, but I think you got confused because what I prayed for was a puppy.

Dear God
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.

Dear God
I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over.

Dear God
You don't have to worry about me; I always look both ways.

Dear God
I think about You sometimes, even when I'm not praying.

Dear God
Of all the people who worked for You, I like Noah and David the best.

Dear God
My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they?

Dear God
I would like to live 900 years just like the guy in the Bible.

Dear God
We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said You did it. So, I bet he stole Your idea.

[betheny]

Max-
Those are priceless. Thanks so much. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

Can't stop the spirits when they need you/This life is more than just a read thru.-
red Hot Chili Peppers

[Karen'sMom]

Those are so cute Max! Kids say the funniest things in their innocence!

Thanks,

Darlene
Karen's website - www.karenbrain.ca (http://www.karenbrain.ca)

[Obieone]

Out of the mouths of babes http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif ...

Obieone http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/cool.gif
P.S. I love a good chuckle ...

[Max]

Why We Love Children

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A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

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A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later....."Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No, you had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes ! later......"Daaaa-aaaad....." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

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An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"

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One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

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It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon! . All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."

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When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"

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A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...."His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

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One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, "...... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

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A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

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A little girl goes to the barbershop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie." She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."