Would you wear the ring?

[marco25]

It's been off my finger for almost a year. For some reason I decided to put it back on ... my left ring finger ... tonight. I like seeing it on that finger. Seems to belong there.

My ex husband did not give me this ring. He had nothing to do with it except that he lucked out in not having to buy me an engagement ring.

I inherited my grandmother's wedding ring. It has three 1/2 carat diamonds right next to each other. She inherited this same ring from her grandmother, and she from hers. So it's about 150 years old, and actually came over with my ancestors from Britain.

One interesting story behind the ring is when my grandmother died, a hospital worker stole it off her finger. With a little luck and a smart detective, we got it back.

So it's been sitting in my jewelry box since last summer. It's like I've had to remove a part of identity by removing that ring from my finger. I've been saving it for Tatiana's daughter when she gets married. Well, that could be 30 years.

I've also come to a point in my life where I don't think I'll ever re-marry. It's just not what I'm looking for or need right now. So what if a man sees it and thinks I'm married. Why not wear it now and enjoy it?

[SCI-Nurse]

Can you wear it on your right hand like a dinner ring instead?

(KLD)

[marco25]

KLD, I thought about that, even tried it on that finger, but it felt strange. It fits better on my left hand.

My mother stopped by early this morning for coffee, we talked about it. The ring was her mother's, and she made an interesting point. Her view is that, since I was married and have children, that she sees no problem with me wearing the ring on my left ring finger. Plus, it is a piece of family jewelry that I used as a wedding ring. I no longer associate being married or my marriage with the ring ... just a sense of history and family. Of course the fact that it's beautiful has a little to do with it too. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

[cathy j]

Martha2,
Wear it, wherever you want! The history is awesome!
Cathy J

[Sue Maus]

Go for it, Martha. Such beauty and rich history should be displayed.

Hugs,
Sue

[duramater]

Life is short...do things the way you want to...and be proud of it...

M

PS..better woman than me..I would have wanted that ring and another one from hubby too...lol

[Chris Chappell]

Wear it. Proud family history and things that link us to the past with positive emotion should be displayed whenever possible.

Just one man's humble opinion. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

[Steven Edwards]

I don't have any words of wisdom to go along with my suggestion, but wear it. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

-Steven

[betheny]

I think you should wear it, for sure. People may think you are married if it is on your left hand though...

C5/6 incomplete, injured Aug. 2000

[Karen'sMom]

Martha,

Definitely wear it! It is yours to wear and enjoy and has personal history with it also.

I think you should wear it on your middle finger, left hand, or on your right hand. If it's too big or small, have it adjusted. I think you should avoid wearing it on your 'wedding' finger though. You just don't know who you might meet that will think you're married.....even though you aren't ready for it now. You might one day.

I LOVE old rings, and treasure the ones I received that were my Grandmothers, Aunts, and Mothers. I even bought myself an antique ring from the antique shop and I love it!

Darlene

[marco25]

Well ... I'm wearing it, on my left ring finger. I'm hardly a jewelry hog, but something about wearing this ring makes me feel better. Can't explain it.

This is going to sound strange, but I honestly don't care if potential men think I'm married. If they're really interested, they'll find out. Any I determine "worthy" of the truth, I'll tell them. Until then, leave me alone. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

Funny thing is, when I was married, seemed a lot of men didn't pay attention to it--even when they KNEW I was married. Honestly don't think it will make a difference now either. Men don't notice stuff like that.

[CowboyCrip]

I could be thrown out of the brotherhood for revealing this but....

Actually, we do notice such things.

It's part of our scan. Pretty face - Check. Nice Breasts - Check. Nice Legs - Check. Nice Butt - Check. Engagement/Wedding Ring???

Not that the presence of the latter will alwaalways deter a man but the absence of any/all of the former will (sometimes - varies with consumption of alcohol) http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif

Long day... Guess what I'm saying is: Nice ring. Great history. Wear it - But not on ring finger. You're not "looking" but that is exactly when "stuff" happens! You don't want Mr. Right taking a pass because he sees your ring and "assumes" you're hitched.

My 2 cents.

[marco25]

Cowboy, thanks for the inside info. I'm always grateful when men are willing to betray the brotherhood to enlighten some of us of the opposite gender. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

My counselor and I discussed the ring yesterday. I appear to have a real need to define myself as an individual. For 16 years the ring defined my identity as a married woman. I took it off for a year. Exactly a year later, I put it back on, not to pretend that I'm married, but to reconnect with my identity, and my grandmother--as well as other relatives on both sides--was a huge part of that.

As far as it scaring off Mr. Right, that's a moot point. As long as I'm comfortable wearing it as such, then no reason to stop. However, when I start to feel weird or regretful about wearing it on my left hand, then I should move it to the right hand. It would be a signal that I'm ready to let a man in closer.

Hmmm. Right before I left for Houston, I stopped at the grocery store for a few items. Wouldn't you know it, an attractive (apparently) single man walks up behind me in line. We smiled and said hi. There were more smiles and eye contact as I got my groceries loaded. For the first time I regretted wearing the ring. Couple of times found myself hiding my hand. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/tongue.gif

We may be getting close to the time to switch it to the other hand. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif