View Full Version : Fear for Children
05-17-2004, 03:10 PM
I was just curious if any other mothers with SCI are paranoid about their children sustaining an SCI...My twin boys are 4 yrs old and I constantly hold my breath, worrying, when they are tumbling on the floor or when other adults play rough with them. A friend of mine was flipping one of the boys in his lap and scared me to death when he was head down on the couch with his neck bent!! I know this is probably being overprotective and paranoid but I can't help it!! I can handle being in a wheelchair myself, but I don't think I could handle one of my children like this nearly as well!!
I'm terrified of my daughter getting a SCI too. I dreamed that she was when I was pregnant...
"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow"
I think about this too. Last week a girl walked into the store where I work with a huge black eye . I asked her what happened, and she said someone tripped her in a soccer game . . . she flipped and landed on her face.
My husband got his injury by flipping and landing on his forehead. My daughter plays competetive soccer. I told the girl she was lucky, and she said, "yeah, gosh--I could've broken my neck!"
I try to remember that the odds of this happening to anyone at all are miniscule--and that the chances of it happening twice to one family are vanishingly small. Still . . . you can't help but be more aware than other people are.
woman from Europe
05-17-2004, 05:25 PM
Yes, I am terrified every time my 7 year old is climbing trees. I am so afraid he is going to fall down. When he was smaller, i did not let him out on the balcony alone. And he is not allowed to get out of the back yard and I follow him and pick him up from school every day. The other children around is going alone but it is a lot of traffic.
TH 12 incomplete 12-12-69. I am still a walker but I do not know for how long time.
05-17-2004, 06:01 PM
I think about it a lot too. Often when I look at my 11 year old son, I think about his father at that age. I find myself wanting to tell him to appreciate every second he can walk, run, jump, kick a ball, pee standing up, etc. Then I realize this isn't Scott but Ruslan. I wonder if I'll stop thinking like this after Ru passes 17, Scott's age when he was hurt.
05-17-2004, 07:34 PM
All the time.
C5/6 incomplete, injured Aug. 2000
05-18-2004, 06:11 AM
I just think its natural to fear the things we're more aware of than other things. Watching the kids on the trampoline doesn't do much for my heart.
Alot of people seem to have a feeling that "that could never happen to me." I seem to go the opposite way and believe that anything could happen at any time. Life is unpredictable. It makes me appreciate the little things more and be more aware and cautious, most of the time anyway http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif
05-18-2004, 08:54 AM
DD, excellent point about fearing those things we're more aware of. Trampolines, we'll never own one. Motorcycles, I will throw my body in the path of any one that my child gets on. Swimming pools, diving unnerves me. Seatbelts, worn in my car at all times.
I am accident prone. It's amazing I haven't broken my neck. One morning early in my marriage I was sitting on foot of the bed facing Scott as he was lying in bed getting ready. I don't remember what happened, but I fell backwards, landing on my head and pulling my neck. Scott freaked! Actually I did too. It hit us both that there were no guarantees that I would never have an sci too one day.
Then one day I was picking blackberries in the woods behind our home. There were some big juicy ones out of reach, so I climbed up on a treestump. As I stretched to grab one, my foot slipped and I twisted and fell on the ground, banging and scratching myself up pretty good. Two days later, still sore, I pulled a ligament in my back while putting Scott's chair in the back of my car. I was in bed on my back for a solid week. It took years for my back to totally heal.
That was it! From that point on, I was no longer allowed to do anything fun. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/frown.gif He wouldn't even let me get on a ladder or operate any kind of machinery like a weed eater! I knew was a walking disaster area!
Today I climb my ladder to clean gutters, trip over furniture and slip when I try to tap dance around the house http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/tongue.gif http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif ... but now that I'm a mom too, I think about the possibilities all the time. Hopefully the gods are watching over me! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif
05-18-2004, 08:44 PM
Oh yes ..... I have to force myself to remain calm at the mere thought of some of the things you have all mentioned .... don't want to appear over-protective http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/eek.gif!! Guess it depends on the activity ..... I didn't realize it till just now but I think I scale this stuff like you do pain 1-10 (trampolines being a 10+ by the way and so many around here have them)!!
It's like waking up a different person ..living on a different planet .. in a different time zone after SCI!! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/frown.gif And our lucky offspring become the victims of our neuroses!!
P.S. That having been said life is one big risk really isn't it .... everyones got a different comfort zone .... that's why some will jump out of a plane to skydive and others ....NOT!! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/eek.gif http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif
05-20-2004, 05:06 AM
Walking is an act of faith in and of itself, though. You have faith that your foot will be under you when you shift your weight. You could walk out of your house to get the newspaper and be run over by a truck this very morning. Anything can happen to anybody at any time, and the only way I can keep myself from getting too wrapped up in my "what if" game regarding my injury is to believe that this was fate, and even if I had avoided the accident, it would have happened that night, somehow. At least this way I have one hell of a story to go with it. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif But this is also what I have to keep remembering when it comes to Nikki...if it's going to happen, it's going to happen, regardless of what I do or say. I pray it doesn't, but in the end, there's nothing I can do about it.
I'm not deaf...I'm just ignoring you! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif