View Full Version : Anyone else have some family conflicts regarding Baptising?
Anyone else have some family "disagreements" regarding baptising their children?
quick background: I was born & raised Roman Catholic and want NOTHING to do with it whatsoever. My parents are not particularly religious themselves but I guess it's more of a cultural thing. (Eastern European background)
My children are now 9 months old and I thought this issue was finished. I refuse to baptise my children due to my own strong anti-religious beliefs... and my wife is a (not very devout) Budhist herself.
My parents are starting up again... this time they are focusing on the "They can't go to Catholic School" argument because they think Catholic Schools are probably a bit better than Public Schools.
I am not budging on this issue and they know it. So why start the shit up again?
My feeling's are that it should be the one getting baptized that make's that decision. It's their salvation, This is all I'm saying on this.
T-12 incomplete 10-3-02
metronycguy
04-02-2004, 08:36 PM
i'm with you mk.
was raised catholic, think its a load of crap. i dont see why catholic schools would be better either,
marco25
04-03-2004, 05:13 AM
Mike, they are your children, period. Your parents should stay out of it and respect your decision (and ability) to rear your children as you see best.
However I know all too well the fear and guilt that the church can use to torment us ... and I'm sure your parents are tormented as well. They may say it's about education, but deep down, they're worried about the children's eternal souls. Again, if they truly believe in an all-powerful, loving God, they have to trust that he knew what he was doing when he gave those beautiful babies to you and your wife.
betheny
04-03-2004, 10:09 AM
Can you just use the Buddhism as an excuse? I don't understand a God that puts children in limbo. I'm sure your parents love your kids and worry about their souls. If it were my problem, I'd probably get them baptized to keep the peace and cover the bases. Insurance never hurts...
C5/6 incomplete, injured Aug. 2000
metronycguy
04-03-2004, 07:30 PM
my big fat greek wedding, is a interesting look on the subject too
Good advice from all. And thank you for keeping the tone civil here. As we all know, anything to do with religion is potentially quite controversial.
I fundamentally oppose much of the Catholic Church's views on just about everything. The following come to mind off the top of my head
1. IVF (without which I couldn't have 2 beautiful healthy kids)
2. ESC (OK first I can't have kids, now I gotta stay in my chair?)
3. Homosexuality is a sin.
4. Birth Control. WTF?!?
How can I indoctrinate them in something that I oppose so strongly?
marco25
04-04-2004, 08:48 AM
Mike, the answer to your question is: you can't! You are the parent. They are your children. Tell your parents to light an extra candle or say an extra Hail Mary. They've got to turn to their FAITH: their faith in God and their faith in their son to make the right decisions about his children.
They are your responsibility and at this stage of their lives it is your decision. However, I would caution you to try not to indoctrinate them in any way as they grow older. Let them explore and make up their own minds without YOUR interference. If you don't like what your parents are doing, then end up emulating them.
Right now your kids have no choice. Later on they will. Allow them to have it of their own free will.
Tom
metronycguy
04-04-2004, 08:18 PM
i'm with you mk,
catholic church makes no sence, at least to me, and than throw in all the priest that use the power of their position to molest and rape all those little boys..and the church covered it up for many years...
Lizbv
04-16-2004, 10:30 AM
Originally posted by metronycguy:
my big fat greek wedding, is a interesting look on the subject too
oh my gosh, I just rented this last night from video store. Couldn't remember if I'd seen it yet or not.
"I guess pain is a great motivator."- Yanni
Lizbv
04-16-2004, 10:43 AM
Though you may be frustrated by actions of your family, they do not carry the responsibility to rear these children, you do.
Every day, every choice you make will affect your children. Everyones perception of whats morally right may be different.
It is good to be baptized in a church, but it is even more of a blessing to understand "why", no matter what the belief might be.
"I guess pain is a great motivator."- Yanni
bruce
08-08-2004, 10:33 PM
Mike, while Kate and I didn't have hassles about baptism, in my family disputes like this are usually about something other than the surface subject matter.
But that's not really why I'm posting. You mentioned issues you have with the Catholic church. I am with you on those. Kate was raised RC as well. What's interesting is that we are now members of a liberal Protestant (Congregational) church, but both our daughters are attending a Catholic high school. They are not cramming Catholicism down their throats or anything, rather they provide space for the kids to explore their faith. It seems that almost half the high-school kids in our church go to Catholic schools.
- Bruce
Originally posted by mk99:
My parents are not particularly religious themselves but I guess it's more of a cultural thing. (Eastern European background)
I am not budging on this issue and they know it. So why start the shit up again?
Hi, Mike--I have some friends (in our liberal Protestant church) who were once asked to be "sponsors" for a baby about to be baptized into the Catholic faith. They said that when they understood that they were going to be asked to stand up in a church and promise to help raise the child as a good Catholic, they were appalled.
They refused as graciously as possible, explaining that when they make solemn promises (especially in a church!) they can only do it if they intend to keep them. And these could not be promises they meant to keep.
This conversation opened my eyes to something that had always kind of troubled me about my own history with the Catholic church--too often, it seemed that it was okay to just go along, even if you didn't actually mean what you were saying.
Example--as an 8-yr-old child, I was required to confess my "sins" in formal confession. When I told the nun that I couldn't think of any sins, she encouraged me to confess that I had disobeyed my parents . . . just to have something to say that was probably going to be true soon if it wasn't already! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif
Anyway . . . where we go to church now, baptisms are public acts of promise-making between parents and the congregation at large. The minister formally names the child, recognizes him or her as a sacred son or daughter of God, asks the parents to promise to raise the child as if that were true, and then invites the congregation to promise to support the parents in their efforts to raise the baby.
I can tell you that having that community gather around our kids when our lives went crazy meant everything to me. They kept the promises they'd made to us. I think that's how it's supposed to work.
Thanks for the feedback.
Kate I had a similar experience and have done the "Formal Confession" thing at least twice that I recall. In my case, however, I always had things to confess. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/cool.gif
The whole baptism issue has died down and I hope it stays down for a while. I realize that I have, in the recent past, turned into somewhat of an Atheist Fundamentalist which is no good either.
I want my children to truly decide for themselves when they are capable of making such a decision. Forcing non-religion on them is no better than forcing religion.
My $.02