Help, I'm having twins :o!!!

[Erin81079]

Right now is a very exciting time for me, but scary as all get out too. I'm getting married on Saturday to a wonderful, sweet man, and I'm so excited.

The thing that's the scariest though, is the fact that we are expecting twins in Sept. of this year. I was okay with one baby (a little freaked, but knew it was going to be okay), but now knowing that there are two little squirts in my uterus I'm climbing up the wall. I know that I'm not the first SCI woman to raise two little ones at once, but questions arise like how am I going to carry around two babies at once? How am I going to get them in my tiny car by myself? Where would my wheelchair go if I could get them in my Pontiac Vibe, anyways? I've gotten three books on raising and parenting multiples, but there aren't any books out there about raising twins with SCI from a wheelchair. Maybe some of you have some tips, or words of wisdom to share? Please tell me you have raised twins or know someone who has so that I can get in contact with them. I know that I can raise these children with some help and encouragement, so lay it on thick http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif !

Thanks,

Erin O.

[Shannon]

Congratulations!!!! I was wondering where you've been and what you've been doing!

I have one bit of advice for you. GET A MINIVAN. Seriously. I always said I would never in a million years drive a minivan. But then when my daughter came along, getting her in and out of the car, and getting my chair in and out was too much work. I got the minivan (the lowered floor kind with the ramp) and it has made my life SO much easier.

Hope you have a great wedding! Please post pictures!

Alive for 33 years
T4/5 complete for 25 years
Mom for 6 years

[betheny]

Erin-

OMG!!! Congratulations! mk99 is raising twins right now, let me see if I can enlist him...This is so exciting. Woohooo!

C5/6 incomplete, injured Aug. 2000

[duramater]

Erin,

Sit back, inhale deeply, and trust yourself. It is great to see you here again! Somehow,knowing you, you will figure it out and do whatever you have to do.

Mary

[Emi2]

OMG, I can't imagine! I was pretty freaked out when I got pregnant with ONE! I didn't end up doing much specially because I'm SCI but one idea I have for carrying two babies is to look into the Maya Wrap Sling, just search for it on the net. And theres a site called babycenter.com with a great bulitin board community, I think theres even a board for raising multiples.
But congrtatulations! Violet was definitely the best surprise I ever got and the last 7 months have ben some of the happiest ever. She's made it ALL worthwhile and renews my belief in the future.

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow"
~ Anon

[nandavis15]

Erin, Congratulations! I've had three kids but not more than one at a time. Just like having one with SCI, you'll find through trial and error ways to get it done that work. Don't worry, you'll do fine. Mine are in their teens and let me tell you that is when the hard part starts!!! Good Luck!

[Karen'sMom]

Wow, Erin, What exciting news!

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage and your "bundles of joy to be".

I have no advice for you regarding bringing up twins with SCI, but I definitely hope you have help! I'm sure Mike will be able to offer some advice though.

Babies are so precious and will bring much joy to your lives.

Best wishes,
Darlene

[Phillis]

Congratulations Erin! I'm pregnant too but with just one! I remember a year or so ago (maybe longer?) there was a woman who was pregnant with twins. She was a para too but I don't remember her level. Her screen name was Chipper (NOT Clipper). I haven't seen her post in forever-she probably stopped after her twins were born! If her email is still good I'm sure she could help you and answer alot of your questions especially in terms of managing your pregnancy. Probably if you search "twins" her name will come up because she posted alot during her pregnancy. Good luck!

[Erin81079]

Thanks everyone for the encouragement. It's been so long since I've posted on here, but I've missed you all. I'll have to run a search for Chipper and see if I can enlist her help.

Funny thing I've been thinking about the wedding: At least I can't get cold feet; I couldn't feel them anyways http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif.

[mk99]

Erin, this is wonderful news! As you know my wife & I had twins in July. (1boy & 1girl) I guess it's too late to give you the advice I give everyone: I highly suggest having 1 at a time! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

I am not going to kid you, it's tough. Really tough at first. Mine are now almost 8 months old and it's much better than the first few months but still not easy! The worst is when they are on different sleeping schedules and waking each other up.

In our situation I am in the chair. I think your situation will be more difficult... as involved as a Daddy can be, I ain't got no breasts! Besides, babies need their Mommy more at first.

Advice:

#1. HELP. You need lots of it. I highly recommend having at least 1 full-time help in addition to YOUR full time job and your partner's part-time contribution

#2. Contact any Multiple Birth Associations in your area. You can purchase a lot of items like toys & even clothing at "sales" and you will save a ton of money. You will also make friends and get advice & some mental support from others who have "been there done that".

#3. I agree with Shannon that a Minivan is the way to go. If you had your SCI due to an MVA, the insurance company should pay for most of the cost of a modified Minivan or Full size van. Go for it!

#4. Take a Multiples Pregnancy class. You will learn everything from reverse football holds (for feeding both at the same time), etc, etc.

That's all I can think of for now.

Feel free to ask me any questions at all... here or through email.

mkowalski99@hotmail.com

[This message was edited by mk99 on 02-19-04 at 09:05 PM.]

[cheesecake]

Erin~
I have Chippers email address. Would you like me to contact her for you? Chipper had a boy and a girl as well. I have not heard from her in awhile. The twins would be about a year old now.
She and I traded tips on equipment, etc. My youngest just turned 6. There are some pieces of equipment that are easier to use than others...I personally find Century better than Graco. Also alot of equipment that is just a waste of money. I have seen an adapted crib that opens loke a door for putting the baby in and out...sure wish I had had one.

What level are you? That will make alot of difference.

"A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles"....C. Reeve 1998

[antiquity]

Wow Erin, many congrats on your pregnancy. I can't believe your life is moving along so quickly. Congratulations on your upcoming marriage too!

Here are two CC topics that contain good advice and links for disabled moms to be.

Good news...I am pregnant with twins! (http://carecure.org/forum/showpost.php?p=14175)

Moms with SCI (http://carecure.org/forum/showpost.php?p=166150)

[This message was edited by seneca on 02-19-04 at 11:00 PM.]

[Erin81079]

Cheesecake- If you could email Chipper for me that would be great. My email address is on here I believe, under my profile.

I have really considered getting a Mini van, but the car I have now is just a year old and paid off. We have no money what so ever to put towards a car payment at the moment, so I have no idea what I am going to do. Maybe someone would trade me?? Yea right http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif.

Thanks Mike for all your advice, luckily my Grandmother and my mother in law don't work, so they will probably be able to help me in the first months of the babies lives.

I think that I am going to have my Spinal Cord Commission case worker help me adapt a crib and put doors on it. He got his undergrad degree in furniture design, so he said he can help modify the furniture.

Thanks again everyone for all your advice and support http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif.

[Tara]

Wow Erin! Congrats. I hope everything goes great for you and your fiance!
Oh wait it is late Saturday - Maybe you are already married - Happy Honeymoon!

[Lizbv]

WOW
Congratulations Erin!
Nice to see you posting.
Best Wishes with Everything!! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

"I guess pain is a great motivator."- Yanni

[duge]

Congratulation's to you both!!!
My sister has twin daughter's that are now 19 yr's old "Identical" with blond hair and I still can't tell them apart!!
Duge

T-12 incomplete 10-3-02

[TINAMARIE]

Hi Erin,

I'm new here, but would like to say Congratulations on your marriage and your twins. I have twin 4 year old boys, but I am only 6 months post injury. I don't have any advice to give you on how to handle the twins being a para...other than lots of help, but I did want to tell you that for as hard as it is to raise twins, even being able-bodied, it is well worth it!! You not only get the gift of seeing each child have his own personality, but you also get to see how they react to each other with that special twin bond. It is a truly amazing gift. I am in awe of my boys every single day. Once again Congrats, and good luck, Erin!!

[kp1132001]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Erin:

( I've gotten three books on raising and parenting multiples, but there aren't any books out there about raising twins with SCI from a wheelchair. )

I'm not having kids anytime soon but if there aren't any books that you can find on SCIs raising twins and experiences of doing that from a wheelchair, why not think of writing one yourself, after all in about 4 years you'll be an old pro, so take notes. You sound very dtermined and once you get the time, not real soon...twins are on the way!.., I see no reason why you wouldn't be able to write one that could help future paras and quads even, who are going to have twins. Congratulations and I wish you the best. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

~~~ Smile; believe it or not, there is still something to smile about!~~~~~~~Keri

[krajaxa]

Congratulations Erin!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm trying to type this as my two, not even three months old twins are taking naps (they don't last). I am the AB in the family, but you will just need to try to adapt the house and everything else to the twins...

I keep mine in the same crib, I'm thinking about moving them out of the bedroom into the nursery in next couple of weeks. There is a magazine for twins called Twins you can order, there is lots of great ideas how to deal with two bundles of joy. www.TwinsMagazine.com (http://www.TwinsMagazine.com)
From the website www.morethan1.com (http://www.morethan1.com) you can order special things, like dual carriers, etc.

It's interesting having two babies, but since I never had just one, I just feel the way, that whatever you do for one, you do it again for the other one.

And one more thing: Get any help you can!

If you have any question please ask, or email me...

Good luck!

krajaxa
http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

[chasb]

I bumped this cause I am wondering how Erin and new hubby are gettin on with the twins. Does anyone know. Hoping things are going smooth for you Erin.

[chasb]

Dam I just saw it there on screen. I'm sandwiched in between Erin and Kraj. It's going to be a good new year http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[kp1132001]

Erin,
You're right about the books...they're hard to find because there just aren't any or they're few of them. Maybe once your twins get old enough...you could write a book about being a mother of twins and a SCI with your experience, tips and tid bits of wisdom...oh and Congrats...I wish you the best. KP http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif

~~~ Smile; believe it or not, there is still something to smile about!~~~~~~~Keri

[Erin81079]

Hello all- Long time no type http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif. So much has happened in the almost year that I've been away from all of you. I was due on Sept. 8 of 04 but I didn't make it that far with the twins. I went into preterm labor on May 25 and they could not stop it. When our little boy Hagen came out he was very undercooked but he cried this little tiny cry and I knew everything was going to be okay with him. His sister Annora started to come with a prolapsed cord and they rushed me into the operating room to do an emergency C-section. I got to see her before she was transfered to the Children's hospital but that was the 1st of only two times I would see her. We knew she was going to be born with a congenital(not genetic)abdominal wall defect called gastroschisis (pronounced gastro-ski-sis)which would have to be repaired with surgery at full term after she was born. Her intestines were partially out of her body- but a totally repairable defect (normally) with few lasting problems. Because they were born 3 1/2 months premature she did not have a chance to survive because her kidneys were not functioning; she passed away on the 28th of May. I knew that she was going to have a hard time before she was born because she never moved much and her amniotic fluid was low. Our son was always active and you could see him kicking her in all the ultrasounds. We knew he was going to be a fighter from the get go. 2004 was a hard year because Hagen was in the hospital until his due date and had many peaks and valleys- Much like a roller coaster ride of good times and bad. He had 4 surgeries all together- One to repair a valve that usually closes in term babies called a PDA ligation; a surgery that went without problems. He was on the vent for over a month so I couldn't hold him- that was agonizing. He also has what's called Retinopathy of prematurity and had to have two laser surgeries and an invasive surgery called a vitrectomy to re-attach his retina in his left eye. He's over 7 months now but tomorrow is his 4 month birthday according to his adjusted age (how he develops). His eyesight is poor, but he can see (we won't really know how good his eyesight is until he can verbally tell us). He also has trouble focusing, which has caused him to miss some milestones. You wouldn't really ever be able to tell that he was 1 lb. 11.5 oz. when he was born. He's almost 16 lbs. now and so strong. I believe that he will catch up to his peers before you know it, and be a very strong person. Just like his Mom. Our family wouldn't know what to do without drama. I got pregnant again almost as soon as Hagen came home and that was crazy. I can't be on birth control because I had a DVT about4 months after I was injured. I was excited/terrified when we found out it was only one baby- and the pregnancy was going wonderfully compared to the twins. I misscarried out of nowhere about a month ago which was sad and emotional but also a relief in some ways.

I'll have to be completely honest- raising 1 child when you have SCI is extremely difficult and trying. It makes your really miss the way you used to be, and revel on the things you could do before you were injured. I just want to be able to hold my baby in one arm, and do things with the other. I want to be able to put him in the carseat and pick him up without struggling to do it every time. I have come to realize that I just can't do those things, and I've adapted accordingly. Would I do it again? Sometimes I wonder if I would have the strength to do it all again, but overall I think the answer would be yes. I know that in two years all of this won't matter and I'll be past it. It's not easy- but seeing the smile on my son's face when I wake up- and to feel him melt into me when I hold him on my shoulder is priceless. It makes it all worth it- and I have help from my family so it eases the the pain a little. I'm just ready to have an uneventful year and 2005. I want to enjoy it with my new family and learn to handle stresses of the journey with dignity and grace. I get angry and bitter sometimes-at my injury, at other people, at my family- but this experience makes life much more rich and meaningful- and reminds me to always look at the glass half full- because if I didn't then I'd be a very sad and miserable person. Just know that you can get pregnant, be married, raise a child, and keep your sanity, EVEN if you have SCI.

I hope that answered your question CHASB-Thanks for thinking about me http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif.

[Erin81079]

A picture at birth and now- An amazing miracle.

[Erin81079]

So small and unreal.

[Erin81079]

Hagen now http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

[Superstar~]

He is beautiful Erin, good job! http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif

Gods speed,
Susan

[lynnifer]

What a roller coaster ride is right!

He's beautiful though!

[annabell123]

Wow Erin, what a sad, yet amazing insight into your last year. I am sure you are just enjoying your beautiful son and cherishing every moment. I am so sorry about your little baby girl.

I found it alot easier to have my children about 5 yrs apart.

Enjoy this time in your lifes. http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif

[mikes4x4]

Congrats on your milestones.... look like you are doing great.. God Bless....

[betheny]

Originally posted by Erin:

I'm just ready to have an uneventful year and 2005. I want to enjoy it with my new family and learn to handle stresses of the journey with dignity and grace. I get angry and bitter sometimes-at my injury, at other people, at my family- but this experience makes life much more rich and meaningful- and reminds me to always look at the glass half full- because if I didn't then I'd be a very sad and miserable person. Just know that you can get pregnant, be married, raise a child, and keep your sanity, EVEN if you have SCI.

I hope that answered your question CHASB-Thanks for thinking about me http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif.

God bless you, Erin, those years that make us long for uneventful are so trying. I'm sorry for your losses but so thrilled for your blessings. From here, it looks like you have the "dignity and grace" part covered. All the best-Beth

[Karen'sMom]

Oh my goodness, Erin. You are mature beyond your years! What a wonderful outlook on life you have.

Congratulations on your adorable son, Hagen! He is a cutie. I am also very sorry about your tiny baby daughter, and your miscarriage. You have had a very sad, yet eventful year.

I wish you the best of luck with Hagen.....I know he will bring you great joy.

Darlene
www.karenbrain.ca (http://www.karenbrain.ca)

[chasb]

Erin,
I was so sad to hear about all of lifes setbacks you have had over the past year. I know in my heart that 2005 will be much kinder to you, as you deserve it. With the love of your new wonderfull son Hagen you will heal and continue on. Of course I have been wondering how you have been, so have alot of others here. Your special. Best of everything to you, and for you.

[Wise Young]

Originally posted by Erin:

A picture at birth and now- An amazing miracle.

What a wonderful picture! Wise.

[Lindox]

He is beautiful and so are you Erin.
So sorry about your very rough time and your
loss of your daughter.

" I hate war only as a soldier who has lived it can.
Only as one who has seen it's brutality, it's futility, it's stupidness." Dwight D. Eisenhower

[diane2]

Erin, It is possible for a pediatric opthalmologist to assess a baby's sight before they acquire language. Does your local children's hospital have a premie clinic? That would be a good place to start looking. I have known of babies that have glasses and even tiny contact lenses, depending upon their needs.

[john smith]

Erin;

Thank you for sharing your incredible story in such detail, the doubts as well as the certainties. Hagen is quite the battler, just like his Mom!

John

"Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence." Lin Yutang

[krajaxa]

I have kept in touch with Erin here and there over the last several months. I have a feeling that she is going to be a wonderfull mother.

I still believe in the saying: "God only gives you what He thinks you can handle!"

You are a strong person, Erin. Just keep it up a believe in yourself. Everything will work out and dealt with things one at a time...

Lots of LUCK TO YOU!!!

krajaxa

[Erin81079]

I just wanted to say "thank you" to you all for such kind words. Every day this year has been wonderful; Hagen's sight seems to improve every day as well.

Diane- We have a pediatric opthamologist appointment on the 24th of this month and hopefully Hagen will be fitted with baby goggles to correct his vision; how cute http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif. We also have an appointment on the 19th of March to asses his physical development. We are so fortunate to live close to one of the best children's hospitals in the nation; Hagen's getting the best care possible.

Thanks again for everything; that's to all of you http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif.

Erin