Rachel Getting Married

[KiranA]

I watched it tonight with my family. I'm wondering if anyone else who saw it felt somewhat guilty afterwards? I couldn't help but wonder if my siblings felt the same way as the character Rachel did? At times, our family is consumed with situations that involve the fact that I am the way I am. I felt horrible at the thought that perhaps my siblings would have had a better life, a more stable environment, if I hadn't been injured. There have been numerous times where I have felt bad because it has felt that "everything was about me", when I've broken down, or have not been that supportive sister because I'm too wrapped up in dealing with all the emotional baggage that comes with an SCI.

I wish I didn't lean so heavily on them sometimes. I hope one day I can return the favour.

[ancientgimp]

I thought it was a great movie and thought it was one of the coolest weddings I have seen. My wife and I are both chair users, she since age 7 and I think you are right regarding the injured sibling getting a lot of extra attention. My wife has 4 sisters and they are all very close, however, you can tell that they all noticed the special time she got to spend with the parents often due to disability related issues. There are definitely pros and cons - her sisters found it way easier to leave the nest in adolescence while my wife chafed under being more sheltered.

In the movie Rachel was a sociopath or close to it, very dysfunctional, a train wreck. I think the types of issues she brought to the family were by their nature destructive, while I feel my wife's childhood disability probably made her family stronger as it was something they all faced together.

[christopher]

I saw it a couple months ago. I wanted to feel sympathy for Hathaway's character but I couldn't. She'd spent her whole life making everything about her problems that she created herself. She had a completely self destructive personality and dragged everyone down with her. I highly doubt you do that to your family.

[fishin'guy]

I have found that the more independant you are, the more the kids reguard you less, a"chair" person. I go as I please, need help with light bulbs in the ceiling that need changing.
You are a deliberate take charge type of person, that should come thru. Your self image should come from the feeling you get when you go do something on your own. Think about it when your out on your own, I think you'll consider yourself much more the getting out on your own, with a few helping oiutings.

[LaMemChose]

Kiran, I worried about the same thing, but it was when I was growing up. Whenever I was hospitalized for a tendon transfer surgery or had new braces or was hauled back and forth to therapy I wondered about the impact on my brother. I always paid extra attention to him and played with him no matter what was happening with me because he was my best friend. I also worried about the impact on him when it seemed the adult famial world revolved around me given surgeries, p/t and orthotic appointments, etc.

Once when my brother acted out as a little boy a relative told me it might be my fault because I got most of the attention. I felt slapped as though the wind had literally been knocked from me for I knew any additional attention was about my body and what it needed, not anything to do with the internal, real me.

It's a hard realization that the balance may have tipped in some ways to you. If you ever wonder how your siblings may have felt, ask when it seems the time is conducive for such a discussion. Their answers may or may not surprise you, but at least you'll be talking about it.

Sorry you've felt it, too.