neuropathic pain - orgasm???

[creasededdie]

i've been going nuts over the past couple years with some neuropathic pain. yeah, i have it all over my lower body, where my legs feel like they are on fire, twisted, bent, pins and needles, fallen asleep etc etc, but theres just one little spot that REALLY grinds my gears!

i have this stretch mark (among the millions of surgery and injury related scars) which is like the main focus of my pain. its about 2 inches long, and it is SO painful, just really really really distracting. when i rub the scar, it feels GREAT! but i cant just keep rubbing it like this, i've made myself bleed a couple times and my boyfriend is always saying STOP rubbing that, you're gonna rip yourself open! i have found that rubbing the scar with butter knives, hair brushes, lighters, basically anything can find gives me so much relief.

The other day at work i was in my cubicle and i realized i was rubbing it... i was wearing a skirt and my hand was going up from under. luckily i was sitting in such a way that no one could ever notice, but seriously, how could not have noticed that my hand was going up my skirt to rub my stomach, how crazy!

i searched online in self mutilation sites, thinking ive developed some kind of mental problem, but it doesnt fit because my rubbing is to treat a physical pain, not an emotional pain. (based on my extremely limited reading and some brief conversations with some cutters)

the other night, i was having sex with my boyfriend, usually during sex its a nice opportunity to forget about "the scar" but this time around i decided to rub my scar while doing the deed and i experienced the most intense orgasm of my life, even including pre-injury. or maybe it was just my first real orgasm post injury, but anyway... what the fuck?

basically, i want this to stop. i am tired of thinking and rubbing this scar all the time and making it into a weird sexual thing. some friends think that i've made it into this weird portal where i've tricked myself into thinking i can control all of my pain by rubbing this one spot, or that i've just become obsessed with rubbing it.. but i honestly dont think its an obsession, i just think that i'm doing what i need to do to survive with this horrible sensation that only seems to be getting worse.

my step dad is a plastic surgeon and i'm thinking of having a tummy tuck and having all of that skin removed. but will that cure the pain from that scar? if its neuropathic pain.. then wont it still feel the same way, even if the scar isnt there anymore? i recently had surgery and the new scar that was formed does not feel like ANYTHING thank goodness. but its just this old scar -- wait actually stretch mark that hurts like CRAZY. i have thought about just digging into it with a knife myself and then getting it stitched up.

so i'm curious, does anyone have any comments on this strange situation? when i leave it alone, its the worst pain imaginable. when i rub it, orgasm.

what the heck???

[Danimal]

Hi there:

I'm sorry you are having such problems!

Sounds like there are some serious nerve endings there and the rubbing sensation does something to calm and alleviate the pain. So, it's more than understandable that you'd want to continue to rub it if it offers you relief. Don't feel bad for that!

I do worry though that you caused yourself to bleed..sounds like you are rubbing a little too hard? Also, because it is consuming much of your thoughts and time and is causing you to worry, it would be good if you could find an alternate solution to managing your pain. I think a conversation with your doctor is in order.

In the mean time...I really wouldn't feel bad about touching it if it helps you with the pain.

In regard to the orgasm..maybe you experienced a more intense feeling because while rubbing the spot, you calmed your pain and where thereby able to relax and enjoy yourself more???

Or..who knows..maybe for some reason you have nerve endings there that, when touched, cause your brain to experience a pleasurable..almost sexual feeling. When you rub it on your own...do you have these feelings or is it merely a pain relief thing and not a sensual/sexual thing?

Regardless, I think it bears getting to the bottom of with your doctor. But, really, don't feel bad about what you are doing...as long as you aren't damaging the skin (I'd lay off the butter knives!!).

Hope you get it figured out...

Best,
Danimal

[dejerine]

creased eddie


I am no expert but I am guessing a physician might try injecting lidocaine into the scar and see how that affects things before even considering scar excision.